In a recent comment, Biljana Savic mentioned the power of closeness. “People have forgotten to look into each other’s eyes, looking for confirmation of the depth of understanding in their eyes, the confirmation is in a nod.”
Closeness is power and how we define this power is what I am I am sharing in this post.
How Close Can We Get?
We may get permission to get very close to some people and not that close to others. This is known as proxemics. This is the amount of distance that people are comfortable putting between themselves and others.
No matter what degree of intimacy you have with someone there is a need to respect the personal space. In intimate relationships, the closest you may get to a person is almost the length of a ruler. People need to have their privacy and shall not welcome disrespecting this personal distance.
The power of intimacy limits itself by keeping the privacy of beloved ones. This power increases our readiness to forgive and stay close. A hug is enough to remove any bad feelings. Intimacy is self-revelation. It is me revealing myself to you and you revealing yourself to me. This revelation creates a deeply embedded bond that will withstand the beating of all the urgent things surrounding us.
The less intimacy we have with people the longer the personal distance shall be. It is important therefore to know what relationships we have with people to respect the varying distance that we have with them.
Factors that encourage or discourage closeness
Like two magnets attracting each other and strengthening each other if aligned so is the power of the magnetism of closeness.
Temperature variations weaken the magnetic power. The heat of conflicts does the same to the power of closeness weakening it and distancing partners from each other.
Conflicting partners shift away from each other and distance their feelings and so closeness is no more there.
Closeness is a power that needs attention and frequent assurances of simple acts of care and respect. It needs to accept others and their thoughts, feelings, and privacy. Closeness must base itself on understanding that no matter what there is always a personal space to respect.
When we fail to observe that being in alignment does not remove the need to respect the privacy of others. Many people tend to forget this and fill their loved ones with fear and doubt. Distancing results and separation follows.
The power of closeness is not permanent if basic conditions of intimacy are violated.
It is easier to repel people from each other than to keep them close by.
To abuse the power of closeness is a sure way for this power to fade away.
