From early on, we are taught to be on time. I wonder, did someone realize the most important aspect is that we arrive – safe and sound?
~ Maria Lehtman
Do these phrases ring a bell? “Carpe Diem” – Horace’s Odes; “Seize the day” – Saul Bellow; “Do not live in the future. Only the present is real.” – B.K.S. Iyengar; “Just Do It.” – NIKE, Wieden+Kennedy; “Dream as if you’ll live forever. Live as you’ll die today.” – James Dean
The list of these fantastic quotes goes on, and they have changed how we perceive living in the present. I cannot even count the times I have seen “begin today” quotes on social media. Everything we see, hear, and live is about embracing the present, now, and right away. We are being hurried forward relentlessly without even a pause to think about where we are, why we are here, how the current circumstances came to be, and what matters tomorrow.
I began writing ‘another day’ comments whenever I saw my network sending out ‘do it now’ thoughts. After years of surviving with chronic illnesses, I have learned to embrace the ‘Another Day’ concept. What does it mean?
You only have one life
Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.
~ John Lennon
The topics of only having one life and never knowing when it ends create panic, ensuring we rush through each day, trying our best to accomplish everything we possibly can. So, when we simply cannot, we wallow in self-remorse and frustration that we have “lost” another day to do our very best.
The entire “now or lost” concept is folly. Unless you are in a real fight and flight situation, which requires you to do your utmost to fight back or run away, there is no definite Today. I used to think so. I would exhaust myself and deprive myself of sleep to create and accomplish what I thought was required of me. I did not even stop to think if what I was doing made sense.
Until one day, when I nearly passed away due to severe illness, I woke up asking the nurses when I could be returning to work. They just smiled and said, your job will wait.
It took me a week to realize that I was in no condition to work. I could not even walk without a stroller. A few meters with it took all my strength. I was only in my mid-fifties, and before ending up in the hospital, I could easily walk several miles. I was at the age when women embraced leadership positions and thrived in their careers, filled with a “seize the day” attitude. I faced months of recovery time filled with pain. It took me years to find what medications worked for me and which did not, and situations would reverse. I would be back searching for new remedies time and time again. I felt frustrated and that my dreams were stolen from me. I felt that losing my management position demoted me. What did I truly learn from those months I had to leave work for illness occasionally? It took me a long time to realize that my true power was not managing others. It was embracing creativity and thought leadership. I loved to help others thrive, to empower others, to support them, and to coach and mentor.
Do you appreciate your white days?
For me, life is about being positive and hopeful, choosing to be joyful, choosing to be encouraging, choosing to be empowering.
~ Billy Porter
Many years ago, I had a private physician who was not only extremely smart, educated, and talented but also clever in managing long-term illnesses. He had been in a critical car crash when he was young and had to find ways to fight his way back into health and career building. He was so sought after that he had no visibility on social media. It was only possible to find him if you knew someone who knew him in person. I did because my uncle had met the doctor, and his wife gave me his number. This brilliant mind taught me one valuable lesson: appreciating the white days.
What are the white days? For a chronically ill person, these days are when people can move about their business, go out, drive a car, and feel better about themselves. My physician taught me to value the white days and to appreciate life in all its forms. I wish I had had the chance to thank him for his support. He died very suddenly from an illness after turning 60.
It took a lot of patience, but I taught myself to appreciate the days when I felt better and to pace myself. Doing many things in one go meant my physique would go down the next day from exhaustion. Lying in bed, I was often too tired and too much in pain to do much; usually, I could not even sleep. I just lay there looking at the beautiful angel painting on my wall. I let the hours go by until it was time to sleep. I was no longer angry, frustrated, or sad. I held a healing crystal in my hands and let my mind wander. All I thought about was that there would be another day. There always was. Before I was lying in bed, there had been days I was outside in the sun photographing and walking. I knew I just had to be patient.
Letting go of your dreams or allowing your dreams to find you?
I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re goin’, and hook up with them later.
~ Mitch Hedberg
The forever-churning social media will have us believe that each day we are not seizing our full potential is a lost day. However, very soon after my “Another Day” thinking kicked in, I began to see the benefits. I no longer jumped at things that did not even make sense to me. I might turn down a task at my job, skip a writing project, or take long pauses from my hobbies. You know what I realized? Whenever I restarted my work or task, I was better at it than before.
Even though we are not physically performing at our peak, we are still mentally evolving. Our subconscious and conscious minds take every opportunity to reflect on what they have learned. If you push on, never looking at where you are, you might end up on thin ice. If you are patient, you never cross that precarious frozen water but find a bridge across. What do I want you to learn? To let go. To let you. To let live. Be kinder to yourself. Be gracious to yourself and the people around you. We are all trying our best. If everything does not turn out as you wish, it might not even be about you. It may be about timing. Or perhaps it was not the right way forward for you after all.
Embrace Another Day
After all, tomorrow is another day.
Margaret Mitchell
This article has been a long time coming. I felt guilty for not having written an article for so long, but then I thought about my friend Dennis Pitocco. He would never want me to feel that way. He knew I was writing to anthologies, networking with people, sharing articles written by the BizCatalyst 360° village, and attending events whenever I could and had enough energy from my day job.
I stand behind the Another Day concept because it gives me peace. Reflecting on my life brings me a future. When I was on that threshold of this life and the beyond, did you think I was concerned about a title? A thesis? A career turn? A book project? They did not occupy a single cell in my body. The only thought I had was Love. Love for my spouse, my family, my friends. That was my fight-or-flight moment. That was when I had to choose, and I chose Love. I decided to accept that I may never again have a ‘Just Do It’ -life, but I will have a life with the people I love.
After that fatal year, I met many adversities but also had many beautiful experiences. My creativity did not end but was fortified with skill and determination. I performed in challenging choir concerts, carried through long-term programs at work, wrote in four anthologies, published my second poetry book, made numerous short road trips with my husband, took thousands of photographs and videos, and embraced new family members. I did not do everything simultaneously, but each task emerged in waves. I let go of one only to find another.
Seize your life with grace. It will be the most significant thing you will ever do for yourself and others. My deepest gratitude to Dennis Pitocco and the writers’ village he has created. He always inspires me to be a better person. I also want to thank my wonderful friend Char Murphy and the writers’ family for the Mission Hope series! May the mission continue strong! The Mission Hope theme has been near and dear to me this year. I am looking forward to what the future brings.
Never give up. Today is hard, tomorrow will be worse, but the day after tomorrow will be sunshine.
~ Jack Ma
