The More You Chase, The Less You Get | The Backwards Law  

The Context:

We all hear about people chasing their dreams, the harder they try, the less likely they succeed.

• A student trying hard to be the first but could never make it…
• A guy trying hard to impress a girl but loses her eventually…
• A salesman trying hard to make a million but did not meet the target…
• A manager trying hard to control a team but finds them leaving their jobs…

There are several moments in life, where trying too hard becomes counterproductive. we spend our lives in relentless pursuit of happiness yet the more fervently we chase the more elusive it gets.

The Phenomenon:

“The more we try to catch hold of the something, the more elusive it becomes. It is like trying to clutch water in one’s hands. The harder we grip, the more it slips through our fingers. “(Alan Watts)

This profound paradox encapsulates a truth that challenges the relentless pursuit of our dreams. This paradoxical phenomenon is known as “The backwards law” (aka. The Law of Reversed Effort) suggests becoming aware, developing a balance, and letting things unfold naturally by taking a step back.

The Backwards law encourages us to get beyond the world’s materialistic achievements and enables us to seek purpose, deeper meaning, and fulfillment in aligning our actions, directing our energy, and efforts and further enabling us to live in the present moment with heightened awareness.

The Hypothesis:

Let us consider the analogy of a dog tirelessly chasing smaller animals throughout its life, only to one day decide to chase its own tail. To the dog this pursuit seems logical given his history of successful chases, however, the dog fails to grasp a simple truth; it is inherently part of what it chases. It’s a chase where the pursuer and the pursuit are intrinsically one, yet our minds fail to see this connection.

Pursuing something not only separates the pursuer from the pursuit but reinforces the fact that you lack it in the first place. So, one tends to focus on the outcome, and in that relentless pursuit, the more one becomes conscious of the outcome, one is separating self from the journey (where the essence is), with an obsession with the outcome alone. So, this does not resonate with the intended outcome. Why?

The Universe doesn’t respond to what you WANT but responds to who you are as a state of being. Your mindset. Your vibration. Your inspired actions. It’s not about the money, it’s about being a more abundant prosperous you (which brings the money or the guided path to it). It’s not about the lover, it’s about being a more in-love-with-yourself-and-life-worthy magnetic you (which calls in so many loving relationships, none of which you are attached to for your happiness because you are already so).

“When I run after what I think I want, my days are a furnace of stress & anxiety; if I sit in my own place of patience, what I need flows to me, without pain. From this I understand that what I want also wants me, is looking for me, attracting me. There is a great secret here for anyone who can grasp it. “ (Rumi)

It’s stupidity to disintegrate self and expect the outcome. Your personality (your state of being) creates your personal reality, you become the creator of your own outcome.

The Way Forward:

“There is a tide in the affairs of men. Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune”. (Shakespeare)

“The knowledge of the Tide” is what matters. It’s the Art of Sailing, rather than the art of rowing. This is called Wu-Wei, a concept that can be literally translated as “inaction”. It’s ‘The Art of Effortless Action’.

Wu-Wei emphasizes the synergy, oneness between humans & nature (universe). As our intelligence, there is a higher intelligence in nature. Wu-Wei is about aligning our actions in accordance with that higher intelligence for which one needs to develop that awareness. This requires one to slow down, be mindful, and just simply ‘act’, and not ‘try’. In Karma Yoga (“yoga of action”), there is only action (effort), an action without the sense of doership. Both doer, results become immaterial. It’s called a ‘Flow-state‘.

In Neuroscience, ‘Flow state’ is where one experiences “Selflessness; Timelessness; Effortlessness; Richness” in one’s actions. A Wu-Wei mindset promotes effortless action through non-striving ‘Flow state’. The ‘Flow state’ is a kind of Out-of-body experience that athletes experience “in the zone.” This state facilitates our optimal functioning and opens the door to our peak performance.

In a ‘Flow-state’, one becomes the act, like a dancer who becomes the dance, or the poet who becomes the poem. The ‘doer’ and the ‘act’ are intertwined into ‘action’.

Reference from Indian ancient Natyashastra:

“Yatho Hasta thatho Drishti, Yatho Drishti thatho Manah

Yatho Manah thatho Bhaava, Yatho Bhaava thatho Rasa”

“Where the hands (hasta) are, go the eyes (drishti); where the eyes are, goes the mind (manah); where the mind goes, there the emotion (bhaava) and where there is bhaava, essence (rasa) is evoked.”

This applies to anything in life, where our focus is, there goes our attention, there goes our energy; where the energy goes, there evokes our inner expression (emotion); where there is synergy (doer and the action), there the essence is. The ‘action’ with complete involvement (Flow state) results in the ‘essence’, which further synergizes with the abundance in the universe (one’s own dreams).

Final Words:

One needs to build self-awareness, practice gratitude, express one’s authentic self, focus in the ‘Here & Now’, and act purposefully where one finds joy, fulfillment, and one’s own meaning of life; by which one allows the life’s abundance to unfold and manifest naturally in its own destined time and pace.

“You don’t force. You flow. You don’t control. You create. You don’t chase. You attract. You don’t hustle. You take aligned action. What belongs to you will find you.”

“He who stands on tiptoe, doesn’t stand firm.

He who rushes ahead, doesn’t go far.

He who tries to shine, dims his own light.

He who defines himself, can’t know who he really is.

He who has power over others, can’t empower himself.

He who clings to his work, will create nothing that endures.

If you want to accord with the Tao, just do your job, then let go.”         ― Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

Wise References:

• “Focusing on the result deprives us from the pleasure of enjoying the journey and learning from it.” (Ali Anani, PhD)
• “What goes up must come down, what comes down must go up, until both fall and come together as love.” (Mark Mckeon)
• “This drive can sometimes overshadow the value of the journey itself, leading us to overlook the importance of the lessons learned and the personal growth achieved along the way. The pursuit of excellence should be guided by values and integrity, rather than by the need to outshine others” (Sanobar A)
• “Perfection and aiming to be the best is an asymptote of which you will be continuously striving and will never ever achieve. The essence of life and the purpose of your being is to be virtuous, not vicious.” (Ramasarma Adivarahasarma)
• “I just do my best and let everything evolve as it will now.” (Zen Benefiel)
• “By wanting to be first, he loses himself, but by accepting his limitations, he finally finds himself. True victory lies in authenticity, not ranking. It’s a subtle reflection on self-acceptance.” (Rached ALIMI)
• “Our lives are made up of our own journey & the most important thing is to create our own success & enjoy the process of self-discovery – to learn to believe in our abilities & worthiness.” (Jean L. Serio)
• It’s never too late to re-evaluate and adjust our attitudes, embrace our true selves, and finding happiness in our own skin. (Milka Zadok Adiga)