Mother’s Day is upon us as it does every May. Is it a celebration? For especially new moms, it is a fantastic time. I remember the first Mother’s Day I celebrated as a mother myself. My son was five months old. I thought I would explode with the overwhelming feeling of pride and joy.
And with every passing year, the meaning of Mother’s Day kept shifting in my mind. Or maybe, my perspective on life deviated while my life experiences added new layers of perception to the concept of this yearly celebration.
One time, right before Mother’s Day, I found out that one of my best friends lost her mom. That made me think of all the sons and daughters who lost their moms. What would that celebration mean to them? A painful hit in the heart? As I read my fellow writer friend Carolyn Lebanowski‘s essay titled Motherless Daughters, which contains a letter she wrote to her mom, whom she lost decades ago, I can see clearly that nothing fills the void that the loss of a mother creates in a child’s heart, no matter what age the child is.
And when I think how an even more painful reminder for a mother who might have lost her child, Mother’s Day is, again, no matter how long ago or what age the child was, that thought breaks my heart.
Since the beginning of this year, two mothers who are good friends of mine have lost their sons in similar circumstances. Is it possible not to think of them while hugging my three boys on Mother’s Day?
Also, how about women who wanted to be a mother more than anything in the world without success even though they tried everything? Isn’t it enough for them to remember that something is missing in their lives every time they see a woman with a baby? Should they also go through an internationally celebrated day yearly that makes the pain even bigger?
How about doing something different this Mother’s Day?
So, these are the main reasons I prefer to acknowledge special days like Mother’s Day rather than celebrate them. Because I am not fond of celebrating something when I know it equally pains some others, if not more.
I know that, just because I write this and even if many who read it agree with me, nothing will change in the future. I know that Mother’s Day will not go anywhere, neither Father’s Day nor any other special days that some enjoy while others detest.
But maybe it might change your view around Mother’s Day, and you might reach out to someone who falls into one of the circumstances I mentioned and hold space for them, showing your compassion and kindness.