Do you sometimes feel that your life is out of your control?

  • Does that make you unhappy?
  • Do you go into “victim mode” and start looking for someone to blame for your misfortune?

If you answered yes to all or any of those questions you may want to read further.

Life is never a long, straight, smooth road for anyone, we all experience curves, bumps, hills, rocks, maybe even landslides or accidents along the way. The important thing to remember is that we only have full control over one aspect of our life…..that is our attitude toward it.

Those who espouse a positive attitude, never letting the obstacles that are thrown in their path, distract them from their goals and aims, who always look for the silver lining in the clouds and solutions to whatever problems they encounter, are the people who will likely live longer, enjoy more success, be healthier, and have more fun. On the other hand, those who only ever see the glass as half empty, dwell on their mistakes, and always look for someone else to blame when something goes wrong, are certainly not the people we want to spend much time with.

Individuals who are always disappointed, resentful, and complaining are not much fun to be around, in fact, they can make even a positive, happy person feel a bit depressed. Most of us are not keen on being around people who are so negative. Rather it is much better and more interesting to spend time with those who feel life is too short to spend all your time worrying about what bad event will happen next, or why their life is so bad, etc.

If you want to be happy and enjoy success in your work, your relationships and in all other aspects of your life, you must deal with the only thing you have control over – your attitude.

Life is not about all the mistakes, obstacles, or challenges that we face, but rather about how we deal with them. If you let everything confound and disappoint you, you are not going to be enjoying your life very much. Instead, it might be a good idea to realize that life is really too short to let all those things overwhelm you to the point that you are actually missing out on the good things you could be creating and enjoying with the people you care about and who care about you.

When a person is happy they are more efficient, more productive, more creative, and yes, healthier, because happiness actually changes your brain chemistry, releasing more endorphins which make you feel good and enhance your immune system. So, if you want to live a long, healthy, and happy life….the key is to adjust your attitude to a positive mode. Espouse the approach that no matter what comes your way you will be accountable, take responsibility for whatever part you played in it, and seek a solution to fix whatever you can.

No one will promise you a “rose garden” for a life, but your life is certainly what you make of it. Humans are definitely imperfect creatures who do make mistakes. However, there is no point in dwelling on those errors…..instead, view them as opportunities to learn, fix what you can, explore your options for future encounters with the same or similar situations, and move forward with a positive attitude.

Sadly we humans truly have very little control over what happens to us in many cases, so decide to take control over the only thing you really can: your attitude and you will find that you will have more happiness, more success, and better relationships with your loved ones, friends, and business associates….exercise you key to happiness!


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Sandy Chernoff
SANDY'S 30 years of didactic and clinical teaching in study clubs and continuing dental education, coupled with her almost 40 years of Dental Hygiene practice bring a wealth of experience to her interactive soft skills workshops. With her education background she easily customizes interactive sessions to suit the specific needs of her clients. Her energetic and humorous presentation style has entertained and informed audiences from Victoria to New York City. Sandy’s client list includes law firms, teaching institutions, volunteer and professional organizations and conferences, businesses, and individuals. Her newest project is turning her live workshops into e-learning programs using an LMS platform. Her teaching and education background have helped her to produce meaningful and somewhat interactive courses for the learners wanting the convenience of e-learning options. As the author of 5 Secrets to Effective Communication, Sandy has demonstrated her ability to demystify the complexities of communication so that the reader can learn better strategies and approaches which will greatly improve their communication skills and ultimately reduce conflict, resentment, disappointment, complaining, and confusion. As a result, the reader will be able to increase productivity, efficiency and creativity, improve all the relationships in their lives and ultimately enjoy a happier, healthier existence! Sandy blogs regularly on her two websites on the various soft skills topics that are featured in her workshops and e-learning programs.
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Christine MacNulty

Spot on! Thank you Sandy!