One thing that I have learnt through all of my life experiences is that the Inner Game is the most important game you can play in life and ultimately the only game you can truly win in order to find peace in your heart.
Having spent 18 years in a relationship that was both Coercive and Controlling in nature the need to ‘find myself and heal’ was ever present, especially when I made the decision to break free from this cycle of abuse.
I spent so many years reliant on what I was being told about myself in that relationship, about how I would never be able to cope with life alone, wouldn’t be able to support my children financially, a mother who was too emotional and sensitive to look after her children properly. Everything that I relied on was external to me and I often asked myself this question, what would others think of me, being a black woman who is being abused? It didn’t align with the beliefs that myself and others held, people would never believe me, the embedded stereotypes that surrounded me growing up of black women being too hard too crazy to ever be abused consumed my thoughts.
The internal (what I was feeling) and the external battle (what others thought and how they actually perceived my life), broke me, at every single waking moment it, governed my whole way of being. I decided that battle was too much to bare if I ever wanted to have peace in my heart. So I decided to work on the only thing I truly had control over, the Internal ‘The Inner Game’ and this was the only game I was prepared to invest in.
I got still and present and the more I relied on myself through aligning with my purpose and speaking my truth I began to empower myself. Slowly, very slowly I withdrew from the little things in life by relying on how they made me feel, if those things didn’t feel right I chose not to engage, I began to love this game I was playing with myself.
Not only did great things and opportunities begin to flow into my experience, so did people who thought like me, who operated with love for others and chose to look at life with endless possibilities.
I was changing the narrative of my life by relying on how I felt. The more I did this, the more my heart filled with peace and slowly, very slowly I was able to banish the blame and resentment from that relationship. In fact, I learnt that the only person being affected by holding onto that blame and resentment was me, I could feel the difference straight away, a sense of calm surrounded me. I was winning at this game.
It’s not about re-inventing the wheel, or treating others poorly in order to change your life. It’s about paying attention to how you feel, moment by moment.
My message to you all is this……Care enough about how you feel in life, in order to make choices and decisions that will create peace in your heart.
Much Love, Lis
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