The Inner Child

Who is this child I hear crying in the ebony night? Afraid of the dark and afraid of the light?

No stars to be seen in sight. Introverted now and lives within this hard shell. Always looking for the wishing well of time stolen. A beautiful child is once carefree and happy. Sitting on uncle’s bended knee drinking sugared coffee. Looking for attention in a large family with parents working, leaving children to roam free.

She is the spitting image of me, only tiny and innocent, helpless to abuse.

Hiding away in a closet that monsters live within. I visit her in my sleep now and then. To remind her I’m a friend, come to protect her in the night. Turning on the night light of time.

Children shouldn’t have to go through what I’ve been. No wonder it’s so hard to make friends.  People only pass judgment anyway, and the inner child says they wouldn’t believe her anyway.

But I’m grown up now and in control. Always having to remain in control to keep the monsters at bay.

I listen, and I learn, and I educate my mind. Looking for the reasons for the seasons of time. Comfortable in my own skin now. Living in the day and looking back now and then to remind me where I’ve been. So much I’ve learned in the hard lessons of life. Been married three times and never really a wife. Too much abuse at my front door. The cycle repeats as the world turns more. I finally said enough and spun around like a top.

No more punishing me.

Putting my foot upon the solid ground. Growing up at long last, I can see my mistakes in the past. I’m some to blame, that’s for sure. I’ll carry that cross and burden within. But I’ll never give up.

Yes, I will win…

Protecting to this day. That child alone in a closet with monsters. In the end, the monsters all die and go away, leaving only the scars upon my heart.

If you’re a survivor like me I want, you to know there are others out there and we all know how hard it is to walk the path, but we don’t have to live like victims anymore. We are set free in the truth and we are Survivors! Break the cycle of abuse!


Eva Marie Cagley
Eva Marie Cagley
Eva Marie Ann Cagley was born in 1958 to Frank and Priscilla Cagley. Having been raised in Waterloo Iowa, U.S. She spent most of my time working with teenagers as a counselor. Working with teenagers gave her great joy, having had none of her own… She came from a large family having nine children. She has always had a passion for writing and believes it is a gift from God… There's little else to say about her as her writing reflects whom she is. Her beliefs, perspectives, trials, tribulations hope and despair, dreams of all her lives’ journeys…She currently has five poetry books published and a Miracle story. Her poetry and essays can be found on various ezines and blogs. Her poetry books can be found on Amazon and Lulu. Book titles: “In the Garden of My Mind,” “Dancing in Heaven,” “The Airwaves of My Soul,” “Where Poets Dream,” I Shall Always Think of You,” “God's Miracle Story.” Her personal web page is She is included in the book “To Be or Not to Be A Writer” by, Sweetycat press publications. Available on Amazon. Who's Who of Emerging Writers 2021 published by Sweetycat press. Also available on Amazon. The Beacon Ezine, (Poetry). Spillwords (Poetry) Honor of Socialite of the year 2021. The Academy of the Heart and Mind, (Poetry and essay). Wink Writers in The Know Magazine & Blog (Essay and poetry). Journey of the Heart, (Poetry). Wildfire Publications LLC, Inc. (Poetry and article). Grey Thoughts, (Essays, Poetry). The New Zealand Blog (Articles and poetry). She has also been included in numerous anthologies. You can find the links to all her published works on She currently writes articles for Wildfire Publications LLC Magazine and every two weeks for the New Zealand Dream Blog. She has always had a desire to write and takes her work seriously. She has just recently become aggressive by submitting her work. She is pleased with her success!

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  1. It is a long journey to come to peace with what was. All that shouldn’t have been, could have been prevented if only… Writing is a powerful part of the journey, thank you for sharing.

    Traveling to here, for sometime there are the threads that tie us to the past of what was, like wearing old shoes or clothes that no longer fit but pull us into the shape and patterns of movement and thought that we used when those were our “everyday” clothes.

    Giving away the things that no longer fit us.

    How my brain works: good will – GoodWill – Good Will Hunting… like in a dream there are connections here that could be mined for additional meanings on the journey from what I think about what happened (which often keeps me stuck back there) to being here now.

    And, once here, now, what then? What if I could drop all the threads and walk free into the unknown?