“Tonight? I thought I’d have a few more weeks!”
“I gave you 52 of them a year ago, what did you do with them?”
“I…uh…I never imagined you’d arrive while I was watching Better Call Saul!”
“I arrive when I arrive. People meet me when they’re doing ordinary things: Eating lunch, standing at an ATM, stopped on the freeway, at PTA meetings. Why the surprise?”
“Damn, I just…man this is inconvenient.”
“Look, the percentage of humans who die is holding steady at 100%. Been that way since forever. Despite your modern medicine, your inroads against bugs, blight, and bad stuff like COVID — man have I been busy the last few years, yikes! —despite your social, nutritional, and environmental progress you’ll all die, you just don’t know how or when. Why do you all act like you’re guaranteed tomorrow?”
“You’re a real SOB, you know that?”
“I’ve been called worse. Here’s a piece of advice. Consider me the greatest teacher that never lived.”
“Greatest…teacher? Wait…what?”
“That’s right. Here’s my first lesson. If you lived every day expecting me to drop by that night, you’d use every second better. You’d quit whining about the driver in front of you, the screaming kid in the grocery aisle, the cost of gasoline for Pete’s sake. What’s the first thing you said when you saw me? ‘I’m watching Better Call Paul!’
“It’s Saul, and a pretty decent show.”
“Better than hugging your kids goodnight? Telling your spouse you love them? Walking the Camino? Here’s one that really amuses me. You think because you eat right, exercise, watch your weight, drink diet Pepsi, you’re entitled to your three score and ten? You’re not entitled to anything. I come for ten-year-olds, school teachers, infants, college grads on their big day. I show up at all hours, any day, for all ages, genders, you name it. I came for a Cubs fan in ‘16, bottom of the ninth, score tied six apiece in Cleveland, right before the Cubs won it all, first time since ‘08! If it’s your time, the clock’s gonna stop, my friend.”
“God, you’re ruthless. Look, I feel fine, I eat right, I stopped with the booze and smokes years ago…”
“So your people are still around? Living forever? I seem to remember coming for your grandfather at sixty-two. He was spending an evening canoodling with his…”
“So, gramps had a zipper problem, like a lot of guys…”
“And I’m supposed to wait while he zips up?”
“No, it just seems to be in our DNA or something.”
“As soon as you humans are born, DNA means Death Now Awaits. Come with me, it’s time.”
“Please? Just an hour? Text my kids I love ‘em? Warn my boss?”
“Nope, I got rounds to make. By the way, your boss? Next Tuesday at 7:30. That new place called Sergio’s down by the river.”
“Marian? But she’s the picture of…”
“Sad, really. The Heimlich usually works, but…One minute eating her shrimp scampi, next minute poof! At 57 she belongs to the ages. See, we used to give you humans a bit of wiggle room thinking you’d clean up your act. We thought other people would notice, and clean up theirs, too.”
“It didn’t work?”
“Back to their oblivious behavior inside of five minutes, so we canceled that program. Come with me, I’ve got more of you humans waiting for me.”
“We’re all waiting for you.”
“And acting like I’ll never come. Greatest teacher who never lived, remember? Let’s go. No need to clean the erasers or empty the trash.”
Hey By, It’s good to read another piece from you! It reminded me of a work by Jose Saramago, (an internationally acclaimed author) “Death with Interruptions”. If you aren’t familiar with his novels, I highly recommend that one – and also his others. Here’s a site that gives some positive responses: https://iwouldratherbereadingblog.wordpress.com/2018/04/01/death-with-interruptions-by-jose-saramago/
Our best to you and Mari,
Syl & Don
Thanks, Sylvia, I appreciate you taking the time. I’ve always wanted to check out Mr. Saramago’s work, thanks for the nudge!
Yes. Your article is a good, if sobering, message to live each moment well! You don’t know if you will have another.
I am grateful for a brush with “the Grim Reaper”. We were in a group travelling around Peru (and walking the Inca Trail). Cuzco centre was closed for a festival so we had to divert. Our truck went down a steep hill in the dark that was going nowhere. The driver asked us to get out and walk up the hill. I was helping our least-able companion when the truck roared up the hill in reverse. It just missed us! I fell over but was unhurt.
I gave a tremendous yell. Afterwards, everything was more precise and sharper. This experience has helped me have more joy in little things, like children playing or birds singing. Thank you, great teacher.
Many thanks for reading the piece, Nick, and thanks for sharing your own scary tale. When we learn to actually be grateful for those close calls we live fuller, richer lives.