The Dance of Trust and Discernment

In these past few weeks, I have released belongings in my home that I associated with people who no longer are going forward into my future. I thank each of these items for all they have given me as I internally thank and bless the people associated with these objects. I am complete with the object and with the relationship. It frees my home and life. It has the power to free yours, too. This time of year can be a great time to let go of belongings in our homes that block our full expression and bring closure with those who are no longer part of our lives.

I also now know that wonky days often lead to beautiful ones, and that  even a difficult day holds beautiful tiny moments that take my breath away in their sweetness and sincerity. These stark contrasts show up as indicators of my ability to rise strong, of my ability to break free of unworkable relationships, and continue to attract healthy, vibrant, and uplifting ones. Beneath the chatter within and outside of me is the ability to discern what feels good in my gut and what doesn’t. Sometimes trusting my gut and heart must trump the training of “be a nice person at all costs” or “just suck it up and endure this” that can also whisper briefly in my mind.

Trust lives inside of each of us. Whether it is clothes that actually fit us or new friends who make us laugh, we can tune into this deep internal wisdom.

Sometimes it takes courage to walk away from what isn’t good and toward what is exquisitely wonderful for our well-being. When we know we can trust life to guide us to the next right choice, we can surrender to grace, relax, and breathe. Maybe trust simply means relaxing into that deep breath of life and rising strong, walking forward no matter what.

Here are some suggestions for cultivating inner trust:

  • Try to get quiet inside of yourself before reacting to a person, situation, or physical object that isn’t working as you thought it would. Inside this silence, tune into your body and your gut, and hear the truth that bubbles forth. Our bodies don’t lie about what is actually good for us and not good for us. The trick becomes one of tuning into the place of deep truth.
  • Listen to others with presence and run their advice by your own inner guide. Often people who care about you have all kinds of opinions and ideas of what could work for you in a situation. This may be incredibly helpful and some of these suggestions may resonate. Consider listening to your heart and those who deeply care about you. Your gut knows who these individuals are.
  • Ask yourself these questions to spark an internal dialogue, or discuss them with a friend or colleague who cares: Does this belonging or relationship add value to my life? What am I learning from this relationship that helps me evolve as a person? Can I still bring value to this relationship in a healthy way? Has this belonging fulfilled its purpose in my life?
  • Leave any relationship that turns into an abusive one. Hold up a red card and respectfully request that this person walk off the soccer field of your life. You are worthy of beautiful and uplifting relationships and ones that add value to your life. Consider going to work on your inner feng shui to clear away beliefs and feelings of unworthiness, victimhood, and self-loathing. Who you are is completely separate from the mistakes you have made. Commit to making healthy choices going forward that help you see yourself as valuable, lovable, and full of life, skills, gifts, and talents.
  • Cultivate a loving relationship within yourself. Consider ending the internal drama of bickering people inside your mind, half of them telling you lies and the other half telling the truth. Seek professional help if the internal drama is getting the best of you.
  • Before making an important purchase, give that item a test drive to be certain it meets your standards, needs, and desires. Return purchases that are not a good fit.


Laura Staley
Laura Staley
The founder of Cherish Your World, Laura Staley passionately helps people thrive by guiding them to a holistic transformation of space, heart, mind, body, and soul. Laura knows that there’s a relationship between the conditions of our homes or workplaces and the quality of our lives. Trained and certified with the Western School of Feng Shui and seasoned by almost two decades of working with a variety of clients, Laura uses her intuition and expertise to empower her clients to produce remarkable results in their lives. Her trifecta of serving people includes speaking, writing, and compassionate listening. As a columnist, Laura writes personal essays focused on self-discovery, feng shui, emotional health, and transformations from the inside out. Laura is the published author of three books: Live Inspired, Let Go Courageously and Live with Love: Transform Your Life with Feng Shui, and the Cherish Your World Gift Book of 100 Tips to Enhance Your Home and Life. Prior to creating her company, Laura worked as a fulltime parent and an assistant professor at Ohio Wesleyan University. She earned a Ph.D. in political science from The Ohio State University. Her joys in life include laughing with loved ones, dancing, reading, meditating, running, being in nature, and listening to music she loves. She resides in Black Mountain, NC with lovable dog, Layla. Laura is a contributing author to the inspiring book Crappy to Happy: Sacred Stories of Transformational Joy

SOLD OUT! JOIN OUR WAITING LIST! It's not a virtual event. It's not a conference. It's not a seminar, a meeting, or a symposium. It's not about attracting a big crowd. It's not about making a profit, but rather about making a real difference. LEARN MORE HERE



    • In the past I have been very trusting out of the gate without the questions or actions. How great that you qualify with those questions and actions, Larry. Thank you for this simple and important insight.