The Customer Dating Game

How to build the perfect customer relationship is a well-worn subject for many retailers. Much time, energy and cutting edge business thinking has been devoted to the topic, with concepts such as ‘commitment’, ‘intimacy’, ‘loyalty’, and ‘communication’ echoing much of the sentiment found in agony aunt columns. This shouldn’t surprise us. After all, it makes sense that there are parallels between how retailers covet their most valued customers, and how we, as individuals, conduct our intimate relationships. But what do these sentiments mean today, during one of the toughest environments many of us have ever known?

The retail landscape has changed dramatically since late 2008. It is now a case of ‘survival of the fittest’. Traders can no longer hide behind overzealous, case spending consumers, and the credit crunch means that customers are thinking much more carefully about where and how they spend their money.

So, where to start? Stores need to woo their customers all over again – with a new set of priorities in mind. Consumers now require different things from this important relationship, and retailers need to act quickly to craft an attractive and sustainable offer that is superior to their competitors to win back the ‘new look’ customer – and secure their future business. How might they do this according to the rules of the dating game? Read on…

1.  It’s a numbers game

The more dates one goes on…the greater the chance of finding that ‘special one’ and romantic fulfilment.   In retail, we want to maximise the number of customer interactions, so we are actually looking for many ‘special ones’. The more people you can reach out to and draw in, the higher the likelihood of you connecting with a larger number of the ‘right’ customers.  Make sure that what you are offering appeals to a wide and attractive audience, not just a select few.

2.  First impressions are everything

Something needs to ‘click’ between both parties at first sight for there to be an interest in what each has to offer. So, make sure you look the part and are sending out the right messages. In the dating game, lots of thought goes into what clothes to wear, how you smell, where to meet, and in making interesting conversation. In retail, first impressions are as equally important. On entering your store the customer should feel at ease, be attracted to what they see, and feel ‘this is for me’.

3.  Give out positive vibes

On a date, each party is looking for hints that indicate the other’s interest, whether they are visual, verbal or subconscious. In face-to-face retail selling, a skilled salesperson will hone in on buying signals, however, in self-service environments, visual merchandising fulfils this role – assortment, promotion, pricing and display trigger positive customer responses that make them feel ‘this is the retail experience for me’. Get this right and the following vital stage of commitment will be confirmed, achieving that vital second date/visit.

4. Communicate, communicate, communicate!

Communication is the essential catalyst in forming and sustaining relationships. In the dating game, good communication requires active listening from both parties and finding out about the other person – helping them to feel comfortable and valued. Equally for retailers to enjoy beneficial customer relationships they need to listen to, acknowledge and reward their customers for what they put into this relationship. Get to know your consumer and make use of any variety of communication channels including face to face forums, online marketing, and social networking sites – just be sure that however you communicate it is in a way that means something positive to them.

5.  Be aware of the tipping points

On a first date, there are two critical tipping points – making the first move and handling rejection. Making the first move requires self-confidence, and retailers should demonstrate this in moves which align their offer with customer expectations and requirements. This assurance is based on intuitive customer understanding and awareness of the dynamics of the trading environment. The second tipping point is handling rejection – never easy, even for the most confident of suitors! Retailers quickly realise when customers are rejecting their offer, but need to be agile to get back on track. This agility comes from knowing when and what to measure, and implementing strategic and operational contingencies. The important lesson for both daters and retailers is to learn quickly from rejection – why it went wrong and how to avoid repeating the mistake.

6.  Is this Mr or Ms Right?

This question is rarely answered on a first date, however many suitors have a clear picture of who their ideal partner would be, how to attract this person, and where to find them, in their head. The same goes for retailers. A clear picture of target customer segments, an understanding of their shopping expectations, requirements and behaviours, and a robust strategy for acquiring and retaining these customers are all essential –, particularly in the changing market place.


Waiting for challenges to disappear is a false hope – Brexit will simply be replaced by new challenges. Retailers have got to get their businesses in a position where they can cope with whatever the economy or market throws at them next. Start your post-recession customer engagement straight away with:

1. Preparation is everything when planning enhanced customer engagement. The focus should be on insights and knowledge and using these to fine-tune customer strategies. A logical robust assessment of the market and competitive dynamics of the business should be your starting point. The outcome should be a clear picture of your ideal customer, where and how to find them, and what the offer is to draw them in.

2. Honest, open communication between parties in a relationship is critical if the relationship to thrive. Retailers need to continuously listen to what customers are saying and to communicate in a way that helps consumers feel valued and understood in the relationship. And it’s about more than just advertising and customer relationship management techniques – visual merchandising and assortment planning are also important means for communicating a meaningful customer experience.

3. Being attuned and responding to customers’ changing requirements, perceptions and behaviours necessitate having appropriate processes, and monitoring mechanisms in place.  These mechanisms need to have full buy-in and engagement from all staff, and elimination of functional and departmental barriers to their implementation. Just how agile is your organisation when it comes to being able to respond to customer needs?

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Nik Davis
Nik Davishttps://nikdavis.com/
NIK DAVIS is a business transformation expert and has spent 20 years in the corporate world. Her comfort zone is order, logic and applying analytical tools to solve complex problems. She is also a keen observer of life, a writer and eccentric. Nik has recently returned to the world of work after taking a career break to spend time with her family. Upon her return, she found that her perspective had changed, as had the world she was returning to. Nik decided to carve out a new place in that world and mould some of it to fit her too. Nik sees life from quirky angles, shaped by experiences and the vast amount of knowledge we now have access to. She likes to write about her experiences and observations. To ‘tell it how it is’ and to find a more authentic way to live, whether in our professional or personal lives. Nik often talks about finding ‘The Third Way’. It’s a philosophy about life, having a personal life as well as a career, making money and being socially generous, being logical and sensitive, living by the rules of a society but not being afraid to challenge them, inspiring others to feel good but not for your own ego, giving rather than taking. Nik wants to make a difference to this world by getting people to see things differently, to try new ways of working but most of all, to re-discover our true selves and therefore reach our true potential. Nik also has two other persona’s: nikdavis which is where Nik writes about her deeply personal experiences of life. Nik runs a facebook group alongside this website to create a safe place for people to discuss the topics that are raised in her blog. Nik’s second persona is Lilly Isabella and this is where she shares her passion of fashion and design.