The Constipated Lizard

One of my friends has a lizard, and yes, she was recently constipated. The lizard, not my friend. And this got me thinking about how “constipation” can relate to things other than the bowels. Brace yourself, it’s a shi$&y subject, no pun intended.

What about relationships that are, “constipated” for lack of a better word, where you are unable to move on? We all get stuck in situations. Traffic would be the usual, but then there is the job we may be unhappy with, or worse, a relationship that does not bring us joy. How do you get rid of THAT constipation?

Just as you depart a high traffic scenario, which lane do you choose to escape a relationship? The lizard had to go to the vet to get rid of her constipation, with an $86 price tag, if I may add. On the other hand, what’s great about being human is we have choices that don’t always include a monetary price tag; an emotional one, perhaps.

So how do you move on from a relationship, or friendship for that matter, that sucks the life out of you like a laxative? The easy out would be to master the ever-so-popular “ghosting” of the 21st century where you just disappear in a poof and fall off the face of the earth, but that’s just being a coward on an over-abundance of fiber supplements.

Whatever happened to being true to ourselves? It takes courage to be your authentic self and with that, comes the ability to be honest with yourself and with others. Often times, we become complacent with our circumstances and relationships. Because it is easy. We know better, but are afraid of the alternative.

A wise friend once told me, “There’s one thing harder than staying, and that’s leaving. And there’s one thing harder than leaving, and that’s staying.”

So which way do you go? What are we missing here?

Honesty. Honesty with others and especially, with ourselves. Life is short and we have to do what makes us happy. If you aren’t happy, make a change. And as painful as it is to make that change, what’s the alternative? Albert Einstein coined the phrase, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.” Don’t you think being honest is easier than being insane? Ok, some of you…don’t answer that.

Billy Joel knew what he was talking about in 1978 when he wrote, “Honesty, is such a lonely word. Everyone is so untrue.” And decades later, we are still missing the boat. Be a say-what-you-mean, mean-what-you-say kind of person, especially to yourself.

So when you question your happiness in a relationship, sit back, take it all in and think about your honest feelings and speak your mind in a way that is true to yourself. Don’t be a constipated lizard.


Connie Bramer
Connie Bramer
Connie Bramer is an entrepreneur, mom, breast cancer survivor, and author of “How Connie Got Her Rack Back,” her comical spin on the journey of cancer. Connie’s mission to help others through her own experiences drove her to found Get Your Rack Back Inc., a not for profit organization that provides financial assistance to cancer patients in Upstate NY. GYRB assists patients – men, women, and children with varying types of cancers – with gas and grocery gift cards as well as medical copay assistance. Connie has been featured in several magazines including Her Life New York and Womenz Straight Talk. As a cancer survivor, Connie was awarded the Hyatt’s prestigious Portrait of Understanding Award. In addition to her inspirational blog, gyrb. She also shares her everyday antics with a snarky sense of humor on her blog, The Humor Of It All. Connie is a contributing author to the inspiring books; Chaos to Clarity: Sacred Stories of Transformational Change and Crappy to Happy: Sacred Stories of Transformational Joy

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