We are all encouraged to speak up, have an opinion, enter the discussion, share a view, and be heard, especially if we are in positions of leadership of course, having a voice is important in all walks of life. Less however is said about the importance and value of seeking to understand the other person and their perspective.
Stepping into a place of openness and willingness to build understanding can be a real workout for the mind and the emotions. Most of us have to overcome the desire both to share our brilliance and insights and move the discussion to solutions and outcomes – especially those that suit our worldview.
In the USA there are people running neighbourhood meetings to bring together Democrats and Republicans in the same neighbourhood not to convert them but to help them to listen to each other and at least hear and maybe start to understand each other’s perspective.
When we truly seek to understand another we are committing ourselves to bringing an open mind and a level of curiosity that means we are really open to learning.
Sadly, we often think that the journey to understanding is going to force us to give up our beliefs or opinions. Intellectually and rationally we know that isn’t the case, but emotionally, we can feel a level of fear of ‘losing something’ that means we don’t even put ourselves into the situation.
Seeking to understand is a huge cornerstone in building connections and harmonious relationships. Harmony not in the sense of universal agreement but harmony in the sense of accepting another who sees things differently and still being in a peaceful relationship. In these times where there is rightly a huge focus on diversity, we can only really move to a culture where diversity can thrive if we underpin that with a willingness to understand other perspectives, beliefs, and cultures.
We need to open our minds and commit time to building the bridges of understanding.
