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The Beauty of Surrender

After I left corporate to strike out on my own, something interesting happened. At first, I had a surge of confidence knowing that I was finally going to live a purposeful life, a life that was Soul-aligned. But as the weeks ticked by and I hadn’t figured out what I was meant to do, I floundered. I could feel my confidence draining away. I envisioned my former co-workers judging me for squandering the life I once had—a life that had taken decades to build.

When I finally figured out what I wanted to do, I was excited. I had clarity. But soon impostor syndrome seeped in and once again I found myself questioning all my decisions. What had I done? Had I thrown away “security” for a pipe dream? Suddenly all my spiritual lessons about trusting and co-creating with the Universe seemed silly and highly impractical. I was scared—really scared.

Each month as I paid my bills, the pit in my stomach grew. My savings dwindled. Scarcity mindset overtook my brain. One morning I drove to the lake near my house, sat in the car, and started sobbing. I was completely lost. At some point, I looked out at the water and took a deep breath. A voice inside my head said, “go visit Mother Mary.” I hadn’t been inside a church in quite some time, but the pull to do so was undeniable. I drove into town, my vision blurred from crying.

I sobbed and told her what had been happening in my life. I shared all my fears and perceived “mistakes.” I grabbed tissue after tissue as I recounted what had transpired over the last two years.

Upon entering the church, I saw that I was the only one there. I walked up the left aisle of the church and straight up to the statue of Mother Mary. I lit a candle and knelt in front of her. Again, the tears flowed. I sobbed and told her what had been happening in my life. I shared all my fears and perceived “mistakes.” I grabbed tissue after tissue as I recounted what had transpired over the last two years.

Eventually, the tears slowed. I moved to a pew in front of Mother Mary and sat in silence. I felt better as if I had released all the pressure in my body. I took some deep breaths. Calm washed over me. When I got in the car to go home, I felt different. I felt at peace. Yet, I wasn’t sure why. Nothing externally had changed. But then it hit me: I had surrendered.

The next day my energy felt very different. For the first time in a long time, I felt hopeful. Two days after talking with Mother Mary, two new business opportunities came my way. In surrendering and allowing something bigger than myself to take over, I had created a channel for good things to flow through. I felt connected once again.

Let go of the reins. Gently remind your ego that it doesn’t have to take the wheel. You won’t go off course. You are fully supported in every moment. All is unfolding exactly as it should.

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Carol Campos
Carol Camposhttps://carolelizabethco.com/
Like many, I struggled for years wondering what I was supposed to be doing with my life. I had been working in the corporate world for over 20 years, most recently in a leadership role with a Fortune 5 company. Although I was consistently recognized and promoted throughout my career, I somehow knew that I was meant to do something different. I felt stuck in a life that didn’t fit, yet I had created it. What was my purpose? I had no idea. Finally, I left my corporate job and made the leap into the unknown. After doing months of self-discovery work (actually, play!), reconnecting to my higher wisdom, and re-remembering who I was at my core, I realized I didn’t have to fix myself. I also realized that I didn’t have to worry about “finding my purpose.” What I found was that I’m multi-passionate and didn’t want to be boxed into one thing. I didn’t HAVE to be boxed into one thing. I started a podcast and a blog where I explored the human experience—including my own beautiful, messy, but perfect road. This blog later became my column on BizCatalyst 360°. I became a mentor and a wayshower for others. I became a consultant to help improve company culture and improve client relationships. These are things I couldn’t have imagined a few years ago. But as often is the case, the Universe had an even bigger plan for me than I had for myself. My Soul knew what I would be doing long before I did, and I’m grateful that I followed the Divine map that was laid out before me! I love traveling, exploring new cultures, being in nature, and helping people on their own paths. I hold a B.A. in Communications from Hofstra University. I live in Massachusetts with my rambunctious and hilarious cats, Petey, and Emmett.

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6 CONVERSATIONS

  1. Love this Carol!
    Your words give us insights into the emotional rollercoaster of change, and permission to breakdown and finally surrender.
    The takeaway for me is that ‘surrender’ cannot be planned or scheduled. It happens when we are ready.. and only when we are truly ready. “All is unfolding exactly as it should.” #surrender

    • Thanks so much for taking the time to read my essay, Carolyn. You hit it on the head–it only happens when we are truly ready. Even though this lesson has come to me several times, I still have moments where I push, pull, effort, and attempt to control. Then, the release happens and I remember “oh yes, this is what surrender looks like.”

  2. Bless you, Carol. Your present such a heart-felt description. You visualize the reality of Divine moments when you cried and drained your past and surrendered yourself to Mother Mary in order to engage and build upon your ‘new self’. What you described, Carol is pure Divine Intervention, ultimately releasing you to pass on your inspiration, enthusiasm focused on what you were born to achieve. Thank you, Carol.
    Simon

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