The Art Of Saying “NO”

It’s not a good day for you to get out of bed. You have the flu, you just had surgery.  Or you’re running around like a chicken with its head cut off.  Trying to take care of every detail so you can finally get some much-needed rest.

As soon as you take time out from your hectic schedule to do so, what happens?  You receive a phone call, email, or text from someone who’s in need of your assistance.  So you try to collect yourself by sucking up your pain, pretending you’re not tired and wind up taking a rain check on your “me time” in order to fulfill the requests of others.  Then after you’ve stretched yourself to the limit, realizing it is/was all about them.  You come to the brick wall of feeling underappreciated.

We’re all guilty!

Of course, no one likes to disappoint another.  Who wants to go through the silent treatment because you’ve decided to put yourself first?  Right? But the bottom line is this… you must learn to practice the art of saying “No!” There’s going to be times when others will not care about what you’re going through.  Times when you’re expecting them to understand and they don’t.  Times when your sacrifice isn’t good enough when all you want to hear is a simple “thank you.”

“No” can be lonely.  “No” can be hurtful.  However, you must know when to put an end to the pattern of being/becoming a doormat. Placing everyone else’s needs before your own while depleting whatever energy you have towards taking care of yourself.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t reach out and help others.  Sacrifice, when done from the heart, can be a wonderful feeling of abundance.  But if you know helping the other person will jeopardize or compromise the position you’re in on your road to recovery.  It’s time to practice the art of saying “No!” After all, their needs were fulfilled; you’ve carried them through their obstacle.  Now, what about you?  You’re still in pain, you haven’t rested, and now lies another day you have to force yourself to get through.

On top of that, the ugly truth sets in; you look around and notice, those same people who you were so eager to please are nowhere to be found during your time of need.

This is the harsh reality of saying, “No.”

Nonetheless, saying “No” can also bring you peace.  Saying “No” can build your self-esteem.  Saying “No” can help you realize your worth and how much you love yourself.

Remember there is/was a reason you told yourself you needed “me time.”  So take it!  Even if it means the silent treatment.  You’re worth it!


Pre.Kaya' Gilkey
Pre.Kaya' Gilkey
Pre.Kaya’ Gilkey is a Poet, Entrepreneur, Author of debut book Exposed Poetry Memoirs, and Featured Contributor Writer for BIZCATALYST 360°. She passionately developed her website HOPING1WORD.COM to inspire and uplift others. The website focuses on self-improvement, unity, encouragement, and love through poetry, positive affirmations, quotes, and more; while hoping to encourage the world one word at a time.

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  1. PreKaya, what a powerful piece! I’ve always said, “An empty well cannot give water to others.” What that means is if you cannot learn to say”NO.” not only will you give away all your water but, when you need some it will not be there for you OR your loved ones. Always put yourself first. “In the case that your oxygen mask drops, please put yours on first before helping others.” Thank you for reminding us that NO is a necessity for us.

  2. This is such a great reminder Prekaya. I was just on the phone with my cousin yesterday and she was sharing a similar dilemma. She had surgery recently and she is not healing well. She is in a lot of pain all the time. She was telling me that her sister requires constant attention. She is mentally handicapped. Well, Nancy (my cousin can’t say no. She still has a positive attitude and she amazes me. I hope she gets better soon. You r post was helpful in understanding more on the subject of saying no and I think more people should learn to say yes!

  3. Saying No is so important. Creating boundaries and space for yourself is by far the number one thing we can do for ourselves. I always think of the airplane mask scenario – oxygen for you first before your kids…..when we choose to say yes to us it creates ripples out in the world for others to also say yes to themselves.