The Arc of Courage

Your toddler girl body and best friend’s girl body

soiled at the hands and threats of another

Balled in terror I coaxed you

To barely breath

A begging mantra

“We won’t tell. Let us live.”

◆

Waking up terrified at night

I whispered “You are alive.”

◆

Hidden deep inside, I helped your

Body move, hide, and comply in a

Household where

Eggshell walking

Required calloused feet

You did not have.

◆

Looking into your brown eyes

In that reflection of mirrored glass

I said, “We will get out of here.”

◆

We began digging underground

Passageways inside your imagination

and fluttering heart

To find escape.

◆

You skated, swam, and ran.

Your body grew and so did I.

We began to speak and take the heat.

I found a place inside your vocal chords.

“Use your words.” I said.

◆

No one hears your truth.

I feel absent in the ears of others.

Cowardice makes people deaf

With disbelief.

◆

You and I hold hands with dark truths.

We hold our breath

Curl our toes,

Clench our jaw,

Freeze our eyes,

until

We know its safe to exhale the pain

Purge the nastiness

Scribble out the rage of hurt

◆

Sword down the back

A beautiful green dress

Fingers and thumb poised to curl into

Balls with a forceful erection

Stone cold eyes

Fists pumping air

Bursting out the most forbidden words

Of All

I now embody you as a profane warrior.

◆

Talk down your pounding fierceness.

Unfurl your voice of wounded rage.

Soften and relinquish this protective stance.

Drop the sword, fall on your knees

Weep an ocean of tears

Coiled underneath that waterfall of hurts

◆

“Find stillness. Find the silence.” I said.

Beneath the surface of water

Holding your breath

Yet breathing deeply

You find me in the quiet of your heart

In the intersection of your grief and joy

◆

You begin to see me in the eyes of beloved ones

Who actually love you, hear you

Who hold your hands

Who look at you, celebrate you

Accept you in all ways.

◆

“Soften in the arms of love.”

I say.

For maybe Love and I are One.