“A woman walks towards me. Dressed like a doctor, she is calling my name. I feel dizzy. I never did like hospitals. We are walking past a large display of metal joints. What a cheerful way to decorate, is my thought, as I follow this woman to her office. What would one accomplish by using joint replacements as decorations? Maybe it is the interior architect speaking, but seriously. That cannot be a good thing. I am still freezing. It is hard to walk, and I am happy to see a chair.
“Please sit,” she says. She doesn`t have to tell me twice. She examines me, my fingers, my toes, my knees, reads some of the forms and looks at me;
“You will have a meeting with the special aids department tomorrow. They will provide you with what you need.”
She is not taking her eyes of my paperwork while she speaks. I cannot think of any special aids that I will need, but that’s the least of my worries at this point. What can this woman tell me about getting well and back to work?
“What are the prognosis?” I stutter.
“When will I be able to get back to my life?”
This is what I have come here to find out. No one has been able help me figure out what is going on in my body, and now I am relying on this woman to help me. Maybe she is the one that can get me back to my life. Now that she has the terrible label of Rheumatoid Arthritis to go with the Lyme and everything else, I am all ears.
So, what`s the plan?
“You have a serious autoimmune condition and will never get well again”.
She says.
Unaffected, she looks at me and tells me; “You will have to be medicated for the rest of your life and will need more aids to take care of yourself as the years go by. You will never lead a normal life again” she continues…” (FOOTNOTE)
This is a snippet from my own journey, from my life about living through what I perceived as hell. My own hell, created by my belief system, my physical pain and my emotional suffering and despair. My programming about health and illness was a common one, and not that special. What makes the story stand out in the crowd is that I, by choosing me and life, broke free from the chain of disease. I tore down my own walls of lies and false information, and I walked towards the truth. I found my own inner power, and my own sovereignty, and am able to see beyond the veil of fear and helplessness.
I believed in the above story for years and had been conditioned my whole life to do so. This is what I was told, and what I was shown. When you get sick, you go to a doctor, you take a pill and you get better. If you don´t, you are in trouble, or worse. You can end up chronically ill, and most likely die. If there is nothing they can do for you, you are fucked. This is a typically western belief system, the very short version of it. It takes a lot to break out of a strong deeply rooted pattern, but we can do it. If I can do it, you can do it.
We all have false beliefs, all based on our history and lives. Our past lives, the present one, and maybe even the fear of our own future. This is a lot of fear, and it can becomes us.
Off the top of your head, you might say that you fear nothing. Take a minute to reconsider. Fear is lingering behind everything that you are not happy about in your life. Let`s look at some of the most typical life-altering, game-changing fears that us running our behaviors and beliefs. Fears are the same as lies. When we live our truth, we become fearless.
#1 I can never get healthy.
Why do we fear taking charge of our own health? In the western world of medicine, the medical doctor is perceived as the authority on health, and the person to go to when a symptom arises. The doctor is who is in charge of our health, through medications and surgery. The language and the medical terms used are not presented to be understood by the layman. This separation in communication has kept us feeling inferior, and the doctor the absolute educated one. By giving away our power so completely, we have separated ourselves from the fact that we are our own authority. We forgot or were never told that our body talks to us, and that the listening part is the key to any great relationship. From the standpoint of living a life being completely stripped of any authority towards one`s own health and healing, we carry this deep belief that the answer and the solution is found in a pill or at a doctor`s office or hospital.
You might have watched relatives and family members suffer for years with chronic diseases, or you have heard your parents go on about how the medications are helping them. Remember, everything you have ever heard, seen or experienced has downloaded to your subconscious, forming your belief. You become a believer in chronic, genetic illnesses, suffering and the easy fix-it-all pill.
You have been taught that you are not the authority on your own health, and that your body is not going to fix itself without someone who knows what they are doing. You are left with the belief that you are not your own master, you are not the boss of your health, and you are most definitely not the one to look towards when in need of any form of healing.
Personally, I have experienced many examples of how humans cling to their beliefs and fears, and how they ultimately suffer from it. I have seen people who suffer from stage 4 cancer, after they have been told they are going to die within a few months, still not wanting to change anything. They will rather die than do something different. Their doctor tells them they have a few months to live, and they accept it rather than rebel and search for other possibilities. The spouse of someone in this situation told me they did not want any “false hope”. That tells me it is easier to accept anything, as long as it is a sure thing, even death and pain. The doctor is ultimately right. The message is that leaving everything in the hands of others, leaves you powerless.
“Because there is no glory in illness. There is no meaning to it. There is no honor in dying of.” ― John Green
The belief system that tells us health is not ours to have, comes from the feeling that something is wrong with us. We fear not being ok, not being enough. The more we are presented with the term disease or sickness, and the more we have been introduced to the medical establishment, the more we will believe is wrong. The truth is, there is nothing wrong with us at all. We are experiencing a health that is a product of our lives and our handed down weaknesses. That simple.
If you have lived in an environment where you were being constantly critiqued, you will also believe something is wrong with you. You see, the subconscious mind does not analyze anything, it just accepts what you accept. You train it so to speak. If you don`t want it to be your reality, don´t believe it. By living you practice your beliefs.
Believing that you can never get healthy is an old false programming stemming from what you have seen, experienced, but also what you feel about yourself through perception. How can you get healthy of the doctor tells you otherwise? Are you smarter than him/her? Do you know better? Who do you think you are? Why would you be worth a true healing, when others don’t experience it? What makes you special? Together with the feeling of not being worthy and loved, you have a cocktail of pain and suffering, BAM!
#2 I am stuck and cannot do better.
When we are stuck we are obstructed, constipated and feel helpless. We are not in the flow of life, and we are holding ourselves back. We might be overwhelmed by situations or people, not feeling in charge or in control. Feeling stuck is a sign that you are seeing yourself as a victim of your experience. You have been programmed to see yourself as someone who has no influence on your own life. Maybe you grew up in a large family, where you had to follow everybody else`s wishes. Maybe you were told that you didn`t know anything, and that someone had to make the decisions for you. No matter the situation, you have been falsely programmed to believe that you are helpless and not capable of moving forward on your own. You believe that you have to stay where you are and wait for someone else to make a move for you.
The typical scenario that will make you a perfect candidate for the I–cannot-do-better price is when you drop your diet, drop out of school and skip the art course, all in the name of not being able to make it anyway. What is the point? What is the point in doing this, when I never make it anyway? Can you hear someone speaking these words to you? Can you hear a bird whispering in your ear? Maybe someone indicated, however so loosely that you were not the brightest one, or that you would never be able to make it.
Sure, you are stuck, and sure you cannot do better. WRONG!
All false, all bullshit!
You can, you will, and you are!
Believing that you are stuck and cannot do better is a grand lie and has nothing on your new reality. It is nothing but a lie that comes from the fear of failure. The fear of not being enough. Who cares? You are as good as anyone. Amazing actually.
