When I thought about how to open up this discussion about enhancing communication, the first image that came to mind was tiptoeing on leaves. Bare with me. (I intentionally chose bare over bear.) Communication is very important to me and over the years, I have become congruent in how I interact with most, not yet all with whom I interact. For some, I feel that either due to the years between us or the level of understanding, I can expect certain outcomes, behaviors, or actions. In those cases, when they disappoint on some level, I dance on tea leaves.
Let me explain. They will request to help or support a project and I without further inquiry assume a certain outcome based on the years between us or level of understanding.
Time passes and the outcome is different or there is no action at all. I am disappointed until I double-check whether I honored my values in the situation.
I ask myself, ‘Did I create an agreement with them?’ You may be thinking,” Is that really necessary?” I believe so. In fact, I believe that we must do it with everyone, our children, parents, and yes, even ourselves…
Watch my video and then keep reading.
Are you tired of being disappointed? Create agreements instead of having expectations. Are you now willing to discover how to do that? What differences do you imagine in your life and how it will feel when you do?
Maybe you prefer tea leaf dancing. I have to admit it’s a cool song. However, I invite you to try creating agreements. There’s nothing like being on firm ground in a relationship and that starts with clear communication.
Cordelia, thanks for sharing your wisdom! Honoring our values is important for any relationship. And clarity in communication would indeed benefit from asking questions. Appreciate your insights into this in your article.
blessings,
Cynthia