Why do we often feel we have no power when we leave a person, job or situation? When we feel the leave-taking isn’t of our own making, we can tell ourselves and others how we were no longer wanted, made wrong in our efforts, taken advantage of, misunderstood or otherwise rejected. If we made the move, we may feel justified, entitled, responsible or guilty for how we and others were affected. In both scenarios, we become disempowered and keep our attention and energy on the old situation that we no longer want. It keeps us focused on who is right and who is wrong instead of focused on what is right for us now. How do we turn these situations around in our minds so that we can take our power with us by seeing each experience is orchestrated FOR us and not AGAINST us, regardless of the circumstance that created them?

The ego has a myriad of strategies to help keep you safe from feeling your feelings. You may experience this as anxiety which can often signal repressed pain looking to move up and out.

What if our circumstances were always happening for us and are meant to help us heal, learn and grow, even if we can’t understand it with our minds? With that perspective, we can bring our attention to our own insides and assess what we can do right now to be kind and caring with ourselves regardless of how things are unfolding. One barrier to this self-exploration is the ego. The ego wants to tell a story about how our future is going to unfold based on what we have experienced in the past. This is its effort to keep us safe from old trapped emotions it feels your inner child is unable to handle. The story it tells you about the circumstance is designed to protect you from a future that has not occurred yet based on what you have learned in the past. The ego has a myriad of strategies to help keep you safe from feeling your feelings. You may experience this as anxiety which can often signal repressed pain looking to move up and out. As you step in and honor what your inner child needs and take over for the ego with better stories and feelings, the ego can relax and get on board with the new story you are telling inside. This requires you to look for opportunities to take over for the ego as often as you can to demonstrate your empowered choices to honor and support your most authentic self.

My favorite demonstration of empowerment is when we know what we want, what we don’t want, and we ask for it clearly and lovingly, without attachment to the outcome. We take care of ourselves and allow others to do the same without making anyone else responsible for our experience or for getting our needs met. Most of us did not learn how to do this nor did our parents or those that came before them, yet we can learn to do this for ourselves now.

One step is to change the meaning of the experience. What if the leave-taking experience was for our highest good? What if it moved us out of a situation that no longer serves us, where it was challenging to contribute, collaborate, learn and grow? When we remember that the universe wants us to be and authentically express our unique selves, we start to see that our circumstances are actually for us and not against us. We stop blaming others and turn our focus away from what we don’t want and turn it towards what we do want. We begin to realize where our power lies; Not in our circumstances and not in other people’s actions or opinions of us. It lies within us and how we respond to the circumstances that flow into our lives when we are fully ‘at choice’. When we follow what is most important to us and empower ourselves to move towards it, we can see how our power was never taken from us. It was and is always here to show us the way to move towards what is best for us now.

How can you tap your power to move forward now?


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Wendy Watson-Hallowell | The Belief Coach
WENDY is passionate about enabling individuals, organizations and communities to value themselves and each other in the ongoing process of change. Wendy has guided hundreds of individuals and over 750+ public and private sector organizations to achieve tangible increases in impact and performance. Her successful practice in mentoring and coaching has led to authorship of the book, ‘Live a Life You Love and Make a Living Doing It’. Over the last 30 years, Wendy’s skills have been honed in leadership roles at MTV Networks, The Rensselaerville Institute, and a variety of community based projects in her town. In 2015 she launched BeliefWorks and offers Belief Coaching as a way to address the root cause of what limits the results we can achieve both personally and professionally. This is an 'upstream' solution to change. Instead of changing limiting behavior, she focuses on changing the limiting beliefs that drive that behavior. In all cases, her clients and partners speak to the specific increases in achievement that her consulting, coaching and partnership roles make possible.
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Bob Smith
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Bob Smith

I agree. Mastering our inner battles and understanding who we really are removes the pressure of what the world sets as a measurement of who we are and where we are suppose to fit in.

Kat O'Keefe-Kanavos
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Wendy, great article. I really like your insight in the comment “It keeps us focused on who is right and who is wrong instead of focused on what is right for us now.” Change, even as the result of an uncomfortable situation can be the first step in a positive outcome for our future. Thank you for reminding us that when something feels bad it may not be bad. It may be good!

Anonymous
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Anonymous

Thanks for your comment Kat! Doing what is right for us and allowing others to make the same choice may be uncomfortable but worth it every time. 😉