Take Responsibility to Build Your Self-Confidence

Confidence. If you have it, you can make anything look good. 

—Diane Von Furstenberg

Starting from a young age, we understand what the word charisma means. I remember being in primary school and recognizing flawlessly which friends of mine had that self-confidence and which ones had not. Thinking back, I was never shy but not too outgoing either. I did not have difficulty expressing myself, but I recall noticing some of my classmates having difficulty speaking up, sharing what they have in their minds.

Much later, when I joined the workforce, I realized even better what a big difference, to have decent self-confidence makes. I have seen people climbing the steps to higher positions, the ones who are good but not that good, while others with much more to offer left behind.

First, I blamed the system for supporting the ones who represent themselves more and for not giving those more introverted a chance. But then it dawned on me. It is not the system’s responsibility to treat people according to their level of self-confidence. It is our responsibility, as individuals, to work on our self-esteem, have the guts to put ourselves out there, and be open about what we could offer.

But if I have low self-esteem, what can I do about it? How can I boost my positive self-image?

You can do plenty, starting from analyzing your character honestly and openly. You can observe your behaviour, determine the circumstances that you feel the lack of self-confidence the most. Also, you can ask a friend, or better yet, a coach to help you flex that muscle as much and often as you can.

Additionally, you can try one or more or preferably all of these helpful tips.

  • First and foremost, love and accept yourself the way you are, and treat yourself the way you want others to treat you!
  • Visualize the person you want to be. Paint a mental picture of yourself in your head and believe that you are, in fact, that person. Then think about what you can do to become this person.
  • Keep the positive vibes and discard the negativity. Use positive affirmations. Get up in the morning and say, “Everything is always working out for me”. Steer clear of anything that discourages you.
  • Remember that your body language speaks volumes. Sit upright, walk with, avoid slouching. A firm handshake can also go a long way in creating a healthy first impression.
  • Let go of the perfectionist in you. Because if you keep at it, you will feel dissatisfied with yourself and even quit before you start in most cases.
  • Speak out loud and firm. Your tone reflects how you feel about yourself and your opinion. Let others have the chance to understand your valuable contribution. Unless you believe how important it is, others will not either.
  • Take care of yourself. If you feel confident about how you look, how you smell, how you carry yourself around, others will notice that too. Exercise and eat mindfully to keep your body healthy. Also, meditate and practise mindfulness to keep your mind and soul centred and aligned.
  • Help others. Being generous, making a difference big or small in someone’s day or life lifts your spirits on how you feel about yourself.

Only you are the one who’s in control of your confidence level, no one else. Take responsibility and make it better. Not because others think you should get to somewhere that matters in society, but because it matters to you.


Ipek Williamson
Ipek Williamson
The knowledge and wisdom, that I’ve accumulated, transformed me into; an Insight Coach, a Blogger, and an Active “Listener” with an ear for anyone who needs to be heard, passion to help, anyone, and any relationship that needs healing and improvement. Especially the relationship with ones’ self. The person that I am today is also the product of my 20 years of experience as an Executive Assistant for the top managers of several companies. I am the culmination of life experiences as a mother, wife, sister, daughter, friend, and colleague. I am also an avid reader and a lifelong learner. Life takes us to places that we don’t expect to end up, but always with a purpose. Last few years, I have made my goal to make my life better, to become happier and healthier. That goal triggered a desire to learn and share anything and everything that helps to make others happy too. Life is beautiful, and we all deserve to live it to the fullest, that’s why I’m here, to touch the lives of as many people as possible, one beautiful soul at a time, and help them to become the best version of themselves

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  1. Thank you for all these reminders and the encouragement to cultivate self-confidence, Ipek! I’ve learned that confidence has a great deal to do with trusting oneself to build emotional safety, mental safety, physical safety, financial safety, volitional safety, and spiritual safety. When a person experiences the positive feedback of making sound choices in all six of these areas, they begin to see that they can trust themselves to make healthy choices, take sound actions. Building a strong core and self-confidence can take time and focused actions for those who have experienced many traumas-for people who did not or have not yet experienced safety in those six areas.

    • I concur with everything you’ve said here, dearest Laura. And I appreciate your beautiful contribution. Very well said. Thank you for joining the conversation. Much love to you, my friend.