We tend to believe that happiness comes from success. In reality, then, it doesn’t work (at least not always) like this.
We agree: people, in general, want to obtain a good level of financial stability and due recognition for their achievements, they want to experience the maximum possible pleasure in the professional field because it is a reason for greater happiness in life.
And they are right, they are reasonable aspirations. In fact, it cannot be denied that with willpower and commitment, significant results can be achieved in the context of one’s goals in life, however ambitious they may be. For this reason, therefore, many individuals, especially the more ambitious and diligent ones, simplify the equation in an apparently logical way: they seek success, engaging all their energies, in the belief that it is the antechamber of happiness.
How to explain, then, that often, once you have achieved professional success, that one wonders if it was worth wasting so much energy for a success that doesn’t fully fulfill? I guess the following reasons.
The exaggerated cult of performativity at any cost, the idea that to be worth something in life you need to be able to impose yourself better and in less time than others. A rhetorical model that is passed off as the only possible and, as such, is suffered by parents, not opposed by society, is fed by the media with the exaltation of superstars and the diffusion of talent shows, where one is judged continuously and all that counts is to be first.
A more balanced society shouldn’t just exhibit role models who always push to be exceptional, and successful in a given profession.
Success itself does not guarantee happiness. To be happy it’s not enough to win, it’s not even enough to become the best in the world, you have to feel fully accomplished, love what you do, and express all the potential you have within us and that drives us to succeed.
It is above all the journey, not the destination itself, that counts: dreams and goals are used only to measure progress, and it is precisely the latter that brings happiness, not the goal itself: satisfaction comes from the steps we do towards activities that are meaningful to us. Small progress must already make us feel good. In short, it is the emotions we feel along the way, the state of mind, which play a central role in a person’s professional and personal life.
Meanwhile, we should decide what is the right goal “for us”, and ask ourselves if we are looking for what can produce within us those emotional states that we really want, those feelings that we want to experience continuously in our lives because they satisfy our most deep. Don’t spend energy to achieve goals proposed from outside, moving away from our most authentic desires, those that make us feel complete, that make our life satisfying, and interesting, according to “our” point of view.
The road to happiness passes through self-realization, through a journey of emotions experienced in full awareness of what we are building, what makes us feel truly fulfilled, what we need, and what we must leave instead lose because it has no real meaning to us.
Success and happiness are obviously linked, but this alchemy may work better in the opposite direction to what most people imagine. Convincing ourselves that pursuing the success suggested by externally imposed models is no guarantee of happiness, indeed, at best it is an ineffective strategy for us.
The best strategy is to understand what can make us happy, to know our inner needs, and, by working to achieve “our” happiness, we can also achieve success.
So, then, can we conclude that happiness is not simply the consequence of ephemeral positive events but, on the contrary, it is the inner condition that contributes to generating and also producing success, results, and rewarding conditions of life?
