Strategies for Connecting with Your Best Self

What is your Best Self?

Before considering strategies for connecting with your best self, your definition of your ‘best self’ is imperative to know. It takes a bit of critical thinking about your activity; the attention, intention, and interaction you have with yourself, others, and the world on a daily or moment-by-moment basis. Are you happy with the results? Could they be better? How?

How do you see yourself? How would you like to see yourself? What might be the simple changes you can make to reach from the former to the latter if there is a difference? Being able to catch a glimpse in the mirror may not always work. Many, like myself, seek out reflections of who we are through investigating personal assessments of various kinds. Sometimes we made need some clarity on our ‘Why?’ in life.

strategies for connecting with your best selfA little research would provide a plethora of surveys that offer views based on your honest responses. The key is ‘honest’ and some choices of preferences are tough to make. Some of those surveys are paid, like BrainMapDISC, Kolbe, and Clifton Strengths (formerly Strengthsfinder). Then there are some free alternatives like Myers-Briggs, Genius ReportHigh 5 Test, Keirsey Temperament Sorter, Big Five Personality Assessment, and Holland Code to name a few. If you are curious, that will keep you busy and provide much for consideration and reflection.

In my own quest for strategies for connecting with my best self one, an example of a Genius Report survey, defined me as a ‘Dynamo Genius.’ Remember this isn’t about bolstering your ego, it’s about learning the keys to transcend your ego and engage a perspective of ‘wego’ in collaboration with others. The tendency, I suppose, is to want to pat yourself on the back for being such and such. That’s not the purpose. Hopefully, you seek to learn how you can work better with your natural aptitude, attitude, strengths, and weaknesses. Sometimes we aren’t self-aware enough to understand how and why we approach life as we do.

When it comes to expressing your thoughts, feelings, and emotion you tend to use lots of inflection, more pitch variation, more variety in vocal intonation and vocal quality. High Yellows communicate readily – answer and comment quickly, and tend to speak more forcefully, at a higher volume and a faster, more forceful, pace. Your voice is the primary mechanism through which you influence the brain responses in others.

IQ, EIQ, and the Esoteric/Spiritual

If you’ve ever taken an IQ test, you get a score that places you in certain percentiles of the population. Many of the above surveys or tests do the same. There is a plethora of personality types as well as communication and problem-solving preferences. At some point most of us thought that other people feel and think like us, which is often a huge stumbling block for effective communication and working with others in any way. Sometimes seeing ourselves revealed in such ways gives us the opportunity to overcome the imposter syndrome, which is loosely defined as doubting your abilities and feeling like a fraud.

strategies for connecting with your best self

What we hope for in our search for strategies for connecting with your best self is a reflection of how we know ourselves to be, yet may not have defined or discovered our characteristics and strengths that allow us to be our Best Self. The above consider our preferences, mostly, in dealing with situations we encounter in life, relationships, and work. By considering these perspectives in short order, such as the assessment, we can get a better overall picture of our nature. When we know ourselves better, we can better manage how we respond to situations beyond our control. There’s another aspect we haven’t considered yet, and that is Emotional Intelligence.

No matter what situation we encounter, how we respond emotionally is usually the core of how we negotiate through life’s moments. Daniel Goleman’s work resulted in another kind of survey; the Emotional Intelligence Quotient test which is based on research and study of many behavioral, cognitive and developmental scientists. Nearly all the above surveys are in some way associated with IQ. Much of how we handle situations does involve IQ; our academic performance indicators, as well as personal and professional success, is highly influenced by it, though IQ doesn’t answer all the possible reasons for how we behave.

What I’ve found to be true is that other types of assessments and charts also reveal the same or similar things. In considering strategies for connecting with your best self there is a decisive and distinct correlation with the astrological birth charts as well as numerology reports. If you doubt that, compare them yourself. The ‘predictive’ nature often associated with the ‘esoteric sciences’ is a very small aspect and, quite frankly, an easy distraction for not paying attention to life and making the best choices. The two forms mentioned offer the same, perhaps even more revealing, reflections of challenges and opportunities in life.

Opportunities in Creating Your New Normal

The recent events in the world have challenged our freedoms, our safety, and our ability to rise above the challenges as resilient humans that we are now. Two things began this process of global self-assessment; the obsession with self-hygiene and sequestration. While we were concerned with the safety and security in the outer world, our inner world suffered greatly from the lack of human interactions. We simply aren’t designed to be alone, though being alone gives us time to think. How we think is the key to our survival and thrivability.

On the one hand we can think about the destruction and devastation of livelihoods. It includes the inability to perform normal rituals with family and friends, whether for births, marriages or deaths. We’ve never encountered that kind of limitation in our lifetimes, and certainly never globally. There’s a lot of reasons to belabor those points. However, rather than getting sequestered in the mayhem and projecting our anger toward some unknown enemy, let’s consider another opportunity that has been placed in front of us.

strategies for connecting with your best selfWe’re faced with immense challenges in restoring or retrofitting our lives and work; designing strategies for connecting with your best self is imperative. Mandatory actions to remain employed are ripping people apart from the inside, faced with losing job security and support for their families. Many consider it their ‘only way out’ of a horrible situation and succumb to the process just to support their families. Our compassion and understanding are tantamount to our transition through this period.

It could be that with better knowledge of our skillset, personal and professional preferences, not to mention strengths, would give us the opportunity to shift into something more compatible with our conscience. None of us are alone, although it may feel like it at times. Did you know that knowing yourself better also allows you to know others better, too? Even though it may be tedious or seem inconsequential at first (rarely do we like tests), growing in your self-awareness only benefits you. That’s just the beginning in developing strategies for connecting with your best self.

Now you’ve at least considered trusting the reflections offered from answering questions about you honestly. Now what? What do you do next? Perhaps the way is clear now and your path forward is obvious. That’s amazing! Congratulations! It’s also rare. We usually need help. Help can come in a variety of forms. Exploring self-assessment tools certainly offers tremendous insight, though not much for direction toward your best path. That answer is within you.

The ‘what’ question about your best path is one for which I am particularly suited to help you answer. With a balanced EIQ, education, and experience in both hard and soft skills as well as a highly intuitive nature, my best path and best self unite in serving your Best Self.


Zen Benefiel
Zen Benefiel
Zen says his life has been spiced with personal and professional opportunities that came through his nurturing of faith, love, and trust that dreams do come true. What built that faith, love, and trust began as an orphan told of his adoption just after his 4th birthday. The spice continued with experiences that span the gamut of the paranormal and include off-planet engagements over a lifetime. Can you say outlier? With two Master’s degrees and multiple certifications as well as an interesting professional history ( his passion turned to transformational life coaching just after the turn of the century, having become a rather astute cognitive scientist with extraordinary insight and intuition, he transformed Be The Dream (founded in 1988) from the intention of bridging best business and spiritual practices to a reality that has served hundreds. A decade and a half of writing was filled with cathartic wonders. His gifts are useful for Team Partnering as well, facilitating people, places, and things to build mega-structures with pre-construction teambuilding sessions. Divorced with four children, 9 grandkids, and 2 great-grandsons, he remarried after 30 years. Luba is from St. Petersburg, Russia, and their meeting, both agree, was a cosmic conspiracy of destiny, spiritual compatibility, and future vision of a newly ordered world in harmony with natural order. After 47 years of preparation, and stepping into what feels like fulfilling destiny, he recently became the Executive Director of the Live and Let Live Global Peace Movement that is inspiring the world now.

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  1. I have such a hard time with weaknesses, Zen, because so often I see strengths applied in the wrong context. People have learned that this or that is their strength, and then they keep using this tool when the situation calls for something totally different. What the situation calls for may be what they have been told is one of their weaknesses, so naturally they will be hesitant to apply it. And even if they did apply the right tool, because it is dusted off so infrequently, the use is a bit unsure and rusty.

    It’s not business, it’s personal.

    These days, it seems the whole world has to be retrained to stop always being analytical and rational and learn to listen inwards for what is emerging. Change happens so fast that we can’t rely on yesterday’s answers to all problems but must turn to sensing and intuiting. That is not the usual strengths of the old guard – and it scares the …. out of many of them. All what they were not “allowed” to be, they must access now.

    • Thanks for diving in, Charlotte. I agree with you AND what I’ve noticed is that when strengths are developed, there is an almost sublime development of the weakness into strengths as part of the process. It’s the rising tide raises all relation-ships, so to speak. In at least some cases the natural inclination and inner drive also recognizes that even though an assessment may identify ‘weaknesses,’ there isn’t a denial of those aspects, only an identification. You’re absolutely right in that some turn that against themselves, at least for a time. That’s all changing indeed, yet there is some value still in knowing them. Many never take the time to look at themselves in such a way. I’ve never seen it be detrimental in any way. Sometimes it’s hard to look in the mirror when you are honest.

      It’s the same, only more pronounced, for astrology and numerology charts, they identify the challenges as well as opportunities one either is facing or will face and that the inner connection developed is what will lead them toward success. The notion that the predictive side is a central focus of the ephemeral science is quite off target, though many only know that aspect in their daily horoscopes. It is very personal, indeed, and this sense of inner development is what will fuel business development coming out of this mayhem in my opinion. My intention with the new series of ‘apocalyptic chats’ is about revealing those sensitivities as being real and valuable in this transformation we’re going through now. We don’t know where it will go, or perhaps even the right questions to assist the process, yet go we will.

      I have a brief story about the ‘old guard’ from a different perspective. Years ago, in 1987, I saw an article in the New Times (alternative newspaper here) that highlighted Carl Bimson, a 92 year old ex-president of Valley National Bank who still had his office on the top floor of their downtown building. The article said he was, ‘just there to talk to people.’ I made an appointment to talk with him about an idea for an international cultural center I had written for my final project for my BSBA. I made a call, asked for an appointment and got it. I couldn’t believe how easy it was. I was a nobody.

      We had an absolutely wonderful conversation and he loved the idea, advising me to go find the pieces and them together. Then, quite unexpectedly, he started telling me about his wife’s psychic gifts, astrological charts and tarot readings had helped him and his brother (the two had founded the bank) in their business development. We talked about all kinds of metaphysical concepts and notions for the next almost hour. I was completely taken by surprise and yet relished the opportunity to have such a deep conversation with such a man. It’s interesting, and many still don’t admit it, that great leaders have used these tools in private for decades, if not centuries. Perhaps expanding the ‘success stories’ beyond the physical is our next opportunity in business, community and educational development scenarios. It’s made sense to me for a long time, though the often teenage mentality has to hit the wall and bloody their heads enough times to realize their stuff just isn’t working anymore. Then the questions begin to unfold. Folks like us will be there to help them find answers.

  2. Thanks for stopping by and commenting, Aaron. I understand that you may not have had the opportunity or interest in self-assessments because you have developed your self-awareness enough to not require it. Many are just dumb when it comes to their own awareness and you see it in public and the workplace often. Mike Vacanti mentioned recently that people don’t like to think. You do, obviously, as you’ve paid attention to the details that make you the magnificent individual that you are, AND… that you’re happy with you. So many are not. Getting to know you, getting to know all about you…. is a harsh look in the mirror at times, especially now. My hopes were simply to offer some helpful nudges. Being a bit obsessive about my awareness for some time (expanded reality doesn’t always reflect well with others) I’ve found at least some of the assessments to be very helpful as they confirmed my ‘nature.’ Now I just need to nurture it. Glad you enjoyed the jaunt through this piece. There’s more..

  3. Fascinating article Zen. I have never taken an IQ test, at least not that I can recall… so I have no idea if I’m smart, dumb or somewhere in between. However, I have learned over the years, despite my shortcomings and flaws, to accept the wild cards of life and to be comfortable in my skin. I know my strengths, I know my weaknesses. I try to balance on the tight rope of life believing there is a reward at the end of the line, yet far below is a pit filled with hungry alligators. Either outcome is possible each and every day. Whether I achieve my best personal self or fall headlong into darkness, only time will tell. I can only move forward with the knowledge of both possible outcomes… and not worry either way if I’m prone to success, failure or anything in between. Life never works in absolutes or certainties, therefore I refuse to put all my eggs in one basket. What is given today may be taken tomorrow. What I don’t have now, I may have in great abundance later. We just can’t tell. In the meantime, we can only live in the moment. We can only enjoy the coffee while it is hot and ready in our hand. Set it aside for three days, it will be spoiled and moldy. Such is life. Truly enjoyed this thought-provoking slice my friend, keep ’em rolling… 🙏