If you’ve been keeping up with the latest … uh … medical news, you’re likely aware there are yet two new COVID variants to panic about. The first is called EG.5, or, informally, Eris, nicknamed after the Greek goddess of strife and discord. (Who says the CDC and the WHO don’t have senses of humor?) We’re supposed to understand Eris has surpassed XBB.1.16 (or Arcturus), another highly contagious Omicron subvariant that was in the news just a few months ago, in transmissibility. And, yes, we’re supposed to take all this quite seriously, thank you very much.
The second new variant is BA.2.86, nicknamed Pirola. The name is taken from a dark Themistian asteroid from the outer regions of the asteroid belt because if COVID isn’t sufficient reason for the CDC and the WHO to shut down the global economy again, the WEF and OSCAR are going to use the threat of a cataclysmic collision with Pirola to cause economic Armageddon. And to give you an idea of the apocalyptic threat posed by BA.2.86, there have been a whopping nine confirmed cases worldwide — two of those in the United States! AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!
This reminds me of the three steelworkers — Nick, Dick, and Dominic — who were sitting aloft on the girders at lunchtime one day. Nick unwraps his lunch and says, “Ugh! Tuna salad again. If I get this again tomorrow, I’m chucking it off the building.”
Dick unwraps his and says, “Oh, man. Ham and Swiss again. If I get this again tomorrow, I’m chucking it off the building.”
Dominic unwraps his and says, “Good grief! Liverwurst and mustard again. If I get this tomorrow, I’m chucking it off the building.”
The next day, the three men meet again for lunch. Nick unwraps his and says, “Thank God. I got roast beef with horseradish sauce today.”
Dick unwraps his and says, “Whew! I got salami with provolone today.”
Without unwrapping his, Dominic chucks his to the ground from the 12th story.
Nick says, “Dominic! What the hell are you doing? You didn’t even unwrap it?!”
“I know,” Dominic says. “I made it myself.”
When it comes to our reactions to COVID and the oppressive, authoritarian, and even experimental mandates that are sure to follow — this time around, the next time, or the time after that — try to remember this:
We’ll make them ourselves.