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Social Media is not Just for Your Shiny Parts

We then started to talk about the barriers to these things and the consequences – prejudice and bias, the outdated command and control structures hailing from the days of the industrial revolution, the impact work and life have on our mental health, the importance of our personal lives and the balance we need and of course, the massive absence of women in many workplaces.

And then our understanding began to deepen a little more as we realised that it was our human messiness, our vulnerability, the parts of who we are, that we normally spend huge amounts of time trying to hide, that actually made us really, really, valuable, because by being able to show up and own up, completely and utterly as ourselves, warts and all, we created diversity, we grew our ability to empathise because we began to experience life through another’s eyes, not just our own, we learned what we each needed to feel safe because we started to be able to have emotionally intelligent conversations about ourselves and that’s when we truly realised that our ability to create, to innovate, to find meaning and purpose in our work did not actually come from work, but from the freedom to be ourselves whether at work, at home or at play.

So, on that basis, if you want to post on LinkedIn about your pets, hobbies, challenges, health, dreams, unicorns, or star wars, please be my guest – I cannot think of anything better than reading authentic posts, from people, completely unfettered by some b*llocks optical illusion of how they should present themselves.

I’m not interested in your shiny parts, I’m interested in all of you whether they be shiny or not.

Post 2

I wrote a post earlier today on my ‘p*ssed off ness’ with people telling others what is and is not acceptable to post on LinkedIn. Unsurprisingly, I still have something to say on the matter – I just ran out of words based on the count on my earlier post. But there is a really important point that needs to be made, again and again, and again and it is this:

We cannot expect to achieve diversity, inclusion, equality, improve our mental health, psychological safety, creativity, innovation, or connection, if we continue to shut people down the minute they dare stray outside of the suffocating constraints of a pre-defined perception of what is or is not acceptable in the world of business – especially when many of these constraints are a load of b*llocks.

Ironically, this notion of what is or is not acceptable in business is not based on some indisputable scientific evidence – in fact all of the evidence shows quite the opposite, that it is our vulnerability, human messiness, honesty of our strengths v weaknesses, sense of meaning, autonomy, emotional intelligence, empathetic senses and ability to be completely ourselves, that actually drives motivation, creativity, innovation, productivity, mental well being and as a result, high growth, sustainable businesses, with engaged employees and guess what, pretty large profits too.

No, this archaic notion of what is and is not acceptable within the world of business comes from an aristocratic class society which then went through an industrial revolution, which then simply created a new class-based, based on wealth, which then came up with a set of norms that suited a few of them but that no one actually challenged and therefore they became the accepted norms that people simply accepted because to challenge and drive change can be hard and often makes you as a lone wolf and that can be a bit scary.

As Dave Trott often says:

Nothing changes if nothing changes.

So, if we really want to ‘walk the talk’, make it ok to say that we are not ok and to be honest about why that is, ensure that people do actually feel safe, that they can be all that they can be because of, not in spite of their differences, that diversity and equality can be achieved, then we must challenge these perceived norms, we must bring our words to life with actions, we must re-define a far more humane, inclusive, honest and sustainable reality for all.

And so I say again, it’s ok to share all of you, it’s ok to challenge the status quo, it’s ok to re-define our boundaries and it’s ok to call out the bullsh*t. In fact, it’s more than ok – it’s an absolute necessity if we want to change what is normal, grow our empathy, compassion, and understanding, and to develop our ability to connect as messy, less judgemental, and honest human beings.

It will not be quota systems, business-wide initiatives, or shiny adverts that change the norms, but ordinary people finding the courage to speak their truth – even on LinkedIn.

Nik Davis
Nik Davishttps://nikdavis.com/
NIK DAVIS is a business transformation expert and has spent 20 years in the corporate world. Her comfort zone is order, logic and applying analytical tools to solve complex problems. She is also a keen observer of life, a writer and eccentric. Nik has recently returned to the world of work after taking a career break to spend time with her family. Upon her return, she found that her perspective had changed, as had the world she was returning to. Nik decided to carve out a new place in that world and mould some of it to fit her too. Nik sees life from quirky angles, shaped by experiences and the vast amount of knowledge we now have access to. She likes to write about her experiences and observations. To ‘tell it how it is’ and to find a more authentic way to live, whether in our professional or personal lives. Nik often talks about finding ‘The Third Way’. It’s a philosophy about life, having a personal life as well as a career, making money and being socially generous, being logical and sensitive, living by the rules of a society but not being afraid to challenge them, inspiring others to feel good but not for your own ego, giving rather than taking. Nik wants to make a difference to this world by getting people to see things differently, to try new ways of working but most of all, to re-discover our true selves and therefore reach our true potential. Nik also has two other persona’s: nikdavis which is where Nik writes about her deeply personal experiences of life. Nik runs a facebook group alongside this website to create a safe place for people to discuss the topics that are raised in her blog. Nik’s second persona is Lilly Isabella and this is where she shares her passion of fashion and design.

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3 CONVERSATIONS

  1. Hi Nik
    I’ve been on LinkedIn since 2003 and I’ve noticed the change from business, to business adjacent, to anything all the time, Truthfully, I don’t really like the chnges, but I always have the choice not to read stories about recipes or political rants.

    I also come at business from “slightly quirky angles” so I’m perhaps forgiving of quirk.

    I do wish for more respect and less mean-spiritedness in life in general including social media, but I’m just working on myself -where I’m most likely to have an impact.

    Thanks for the YouTube clip. I will have a look at some Jordan Peterson YouTube lectures as I’d like to hear his argument without the hectoring which makes his point of view harder to follow. In general I do think men (including me, even at almost 75) could grow up a little. Perhaps some women could as well.

    I think we’re spending too much time on “social” media at the expense of actually being “social” and perhaps to the detriment of society. It is fashionable to blame it on Covid isolation or the working from home and all-the-time phenomenon or in my case retirement, but we’ve let it enter and dominate our life.
    Now I’m going to walk the dog, which is my second venture into the real world today.
    Thanks
    Alan

    • While I agree with you that social media shouldn’t take the place of 3D social activities, Alan, I see a huge contribution to widening the horizon of many of us by having honest discussions with people we were not likely to meet in 3D. I have chosen to be a member of this platform for exactly that reason.

      And I so enjoy that people don’t just show up in their shiny bits. That creates a space where I may belong and not just try to fit in – or more likely not feel safe and thus not be willing to try to fit in. Should Linkedin give more room for that, more power to them. They are opening the space and it is up to the brave to claim it – the timid/ anal/ angry/ fearful need role models.

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