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Sinking in the Sand of Sadness

This post suggests a metaphor on how to get out from sinking quicksand of sadness in which you find yourself immersed in. The post directs you to what to do and what not to do to move out of your sad feelings.

When we find ourselves sinking in sadness and depression, we are stressed. We might lose our ability to act wisely. We become like somebody sinking in a slurry of quicksand and thinking mistakenly that by stirring the quicksand he could salvage the situation.

The sinking person is like a chef who cooks with cornstarch with continuous stirring. Over-stirring can affect the thickening reaction and keep cornstarch from thickening your dish. Cornstarch granules absorb and trap water. When the chef smacks the cornstarch quicksand, he powers the long starch molecules to move closer together, which results in making a solid-like semi-rigid structure. This causes the cornstarch to lose its thickening ability. Stirring a sauce with cornstarch begins to set, keep stirring gently so as not to squeeze the water out and lose the thickening property of starch.

It is the same when a person sinks in the quicksand of bad feelings. It is the story of a sad person sinking in the sand.

If a person walks on wet quicksand (because they are found near beaches), the quicksand acts like a liquid and the walker begins to sink. The more a person scuffles, the faster he sinks.

The more the sinker struggles eventually causes the trapped water between the sand particles to squeeze out. This brings the sand particles closer together and the sand now can sustain the weight of the sinking person. The quicksand now behaves like a solid. In addition, this pattern alternating between solid quicksand and liquid quicksand repeats.

Lessons for Life

A sad or frenzy person may act chaotically when she/he should be calm. The more she/he makes erratic moves the deeper she/he shall sink. It is time for them to pause and breathe deeply and rethink their words and thinking.

By making, the wrong moves they actually make it hard for others and themselves to get out of the sinking sand.

Estimate that the force needed for someone to pull his or her foot out of quicksand at a speed of a centimeter a second would be the equivalent of that required to lift a medium-sized car.

Worse, is the sinking person asks friends to pull her/him out as they might do so, but in two parts.

There is one way to get out. It is by self-serving and gently moving the legs to trap between the spaces of legs to loosen the sand. In addition, patiently repeating this process so that the trapped sad may act as a scaffold support.

You should help yourself before asking others for help. If not, the helpers may only break you into two halves.


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Ali Anani
Ali Ananihttps://www.bebee.com/@ali-anani
My name is Ali Anani. I hold a Ph.D. from the University of East Anglia (UK, 1972) Since the early nineties I switched my interests to publish posts and presentations and e-books on different social media platforms.

7 CONVERSATIONS

  1. What a mind-blowing metaphor and piece of wisdom, my friend! 👏💎👏

    “By making, the wrong moves they actually make it hard for others and themselves to get out of the sinking sand.”

    This is, undoubtedly, a fundamental truth when it comes to any emotion’s management; especially those to which we humans allocated a negative connotation such as sadness, sorrow, frustration, anger, disappointment, etc.

    If I may add something here, I’d say that I’d love to see two categories in the future literature fueled by a Universal expanded consciousness when it comes to ‘negative’ feelings: healthy and unhealthy ones:

    • Healthy: any feeling triggered by the present action and not by the limiting beliefs/narratives we built about ourselves/the world. For example: if I am disappointed because my friend didn’t call me when I had a car accident, then it is probably a red flag about my distorted subconscious program, lack of self-awareness, and that I need some required inner-work given that my friend could simply not be even aware of the accident. Now, if I am disappointed because my friend didn’t support me while they can and that I explicitly asked for the small favor, then my emotion is righteous. Our disappointment or other legitimate feelings can be triggered for anyone or anything in the Universe, but we need to have already experienced a spiritual awakening to unleash limitless amounts of genuine love and having reconnected with the original servant leader in us after rewiring our program to some extent, it seems to me!

    • Unhealthy: anything translated from an emotion into a feeling by a twisted subconscious program. The less obvious feelings are those in the list above (sadness and co.) since they can be in both categories. The evident ones, though, include jealousy, envy, bitterness, resentment, rage, victimhood, disdain (rooted in grandiosity), revenge, etc. In summary, anything rooted in a scarcity mentality and/or self-absorption.

    What I was trying to convey through my short article (definitely not crystal clear) was healthy emotional management fueled by tons of self-awareness and respecting and honoring our hard righteous feelings. When it comes to others’ roles, I can confirm from a personal experience how much it drastically changed with my re-birth and transformation. The former me used to sink in sadness or whatever other feelings without ever asking for support (since she thought she was not worth it and that she couldn’t respect her ‘negative’ feelings while lacking self-awareness. Today, I am humbled to admit that I love sharing all the spectrum of my sacred feelings with those I consider as a soul-friend/home and receiving their priceless empathy and validation! It makes all the difference while staying as long as necessary with the feeling to release it healthily! 💙

    • Great comment my friend, Myriam. You really nailed it right.

      I am combining two of your great ideas. These are
      . Our disappointment or other legitimate feeling can be triggered for anyone or anything in the Universe, but we need to have already experienced a spiritual awakening to unleash limitless amounts of genuine love …”
      and
      In summary, anything rooted in a scarcity mentality or self-absorption

      Our negative bias tend to blame others without understanding their situation and motives. This is a form of self-absorption. We need to understand first before passing judgment on others. This is a crucial point and you brilliantly elaborated on it.

  2. Learning to overcome sadness is a useful path in all aspects of our life, both in the home and at work.
    It is difficult but we have to take the first step ourselves. Sadness must be understood as a moment of reflection, a moment in which we must look within ourselves to heal ourselves, to repair the “damage” and to make some decisions. This reflection that comes from sadness must allow us to open our eyes in the correct direction.
    We need to be brave, to know that we deserve to be happy and that being afraid of making the right decisions today can make us frustrated tomorrow. We must make every effort to strengthen our self-esteem, to emerge stronger from this dark tunnel that is sadness.

  3. My dear friend Wishwas- if writing this post resulted in just reading your rewarcing comment then I am more than satisfied.

    It is a compelling and thorough comment.
    I loved reading it all, but will highlight two of them here;

    “though I am more of a scientific bent of mind and thoughts , take the negative situation turn to divert the stress energies towards positive dimensions … Adamancy of youngsters these days is highly observed coupled with anti logical thoughts and great amount of lethargy”.
    This is what we can control and make useful effort. I hope the post explained the necessity of doing this.

    So well you verified the above need “I’m missing Dr Bohm now … Under Chaotic state of Interfering wave, the violence of wisdom needs carefully constructed well levelled field of Synergy”

    Whatcould I add to this deep wisdom?

    I thank you and wish you a happy and rewarding life my friend.

  4. Dear Dr Ali, Good morning from here . Thank you very much for your blissful message . The matter is pertaining to come out of Sadness & worries pertaining to situation of chaotic infatuation about my daughter .. The stage of infatuation observed by my brother caused a great stress upon his mind , even I too was shocked ,yet, used my inner Suphism techniques of Silence . My faith in 11th master and 26th master of Suphism and my Master in Para Psychological field is the grace of Lord , though I am more of a scientific bent of mind and thoughts , take the negative situation turn to divert the stress energies towards positive dimensions … Adamancy of youngsters these days is highly observed coupled with anti logical thoughts and great amount of lethargy . From Astrology , I learnt the reality of material life and assess the probable positive & negative vision . In India Astrology is known as ‘Jyotish’ – ‘Jyoti’ Means Light, flame ‘Sh’ means Path or direction – that acts as a lamp to sap the path of wisdom to move towards the field of positivity and wisdom . Here , I could get the solution through ancient Scientific texts and philosophy to reduce the loads of trouble shooting aspects to minimum values … Improvement is gradually slow with deep silence and alertness . One thing is very clear after referring to Message of Holy Quran and Bhagwad Geeta and Revelations ,I could apply the Mechanics of Psycho Physics and set the Chemistry of thoughts with reaction …Most Our Children on this globe are suffering with confusion due to Changing Phase of a wave in a loop of the time wave towards higher intelligence which needs tremendous efforts to turn the choice of correct direction of Cosmos towards extreme brightness to eliminate most of darkness of wisdom to brightness of evolution … Such a ghastly view of future is being placed in front of us all … Last 4 days , I interacted with various Students and observed such a phenomenon , … Incidentally , this is a Global Phenomenon where Science fails … While , listening to some Surahs of Holy Books and Upanishad and direction of Vedas , I came to conclusion that I must speak to you and this same note I’m sending to Dr Ali too .. Perhaps , I’m missing Dr Bohm now … Under Chaotic state of Interfering wave, the violence of wisdom needs carefully constructed well levelled field of Synergy with a Higher Watch Tower from where we can observe events with a vision to control the chaotic interfering spiraling waves which have atracked the minds and brains of most of the demography of the world … I’m sanguine to stare that Such a ghastly scene would be eliminated with extreme positivity of a few …
    I’m lucky to find a great friend in you who has shared her wisdom of a Highly evolved wisdom with clarity of designing a vision , perhaps we all in our group of friends we will be Successful to evolve great culture for the globe ahead . … Once again , thank you very much for your kind blessings …Have a wonderful week , though I differ with religious views of Hindu Ideology , this fortnight till black moon day is dedicated to honor our ancestors who were part of respective families , the humbug I always criticise… So , With due honor to ancient wisdom , I have Constrained myself to be silent and Honor the gone souls mentally and help the sufferers for goodness … Your article ‘Storeyof Deafening Control gives a way out and your article “Sinking in the Sands of Sadness ” suggested the process that synthesised the compressive effect of the fluid ie in the Super Saturated state , perhaps an excellent metaphor so correctly & intuitionally thoughtfully written is an experience about the two minds in resonance in the positive directions in the highly chaotic state of Cosmos ….. your post here suggests a great remedy … post today on Have a great day and week ahead .🙏🙏🙏🙏❤️🌸🌸🌸🙏🙏🙏🙏💐💐💐

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