Shattered Innocence (Part 8): North Carolina

–Camp Lejeune

After I arrived back home, I stayed in a trailer that my parents had on the property. I was still alone but was waiting on Tom to get back from Okinawa. I had been back home for around three months when Tom’s term was finally up in Okinawa. He was to have a thirty-day leave and was at Camp Lejeune.


Shattered Innocence (Part 7): The Bus Station

I was so excited he was finally coming home, and we could give our marriage a chance. He went to Okinawa right after we got married. We were both young and neither one of us had been faithful to the other. Well, much to my surprise and disappointment Tom went to California with his best friend instead of coming home. This wasn’t a particularly good start to giving our marriage a try.

I didn’t hear from him until Tom was at Camp Lejeune. He was saving his money up to get us a trailer to rent. Meanwhile, I had a friend whose husband was in the service and also stationed at Fort Bragg. He was in the army while Tom was in the Marines. They were kind enough to let me come stay with them until Tom sent for me. One night I don’t know why or whose idea it was, but we went skinny dipping. I was leaving my bra and underwear on. There were five of us I believe. A couple of friends of her husband’s from the base. We were far out in the water when we noticed a van pull up and several marines got out. We scurried back to shore when I discovered my clothes were gone, they had floated down the river. My friend’s husband gave me his shirt and it was long enough to cover me. The guys in the van never came down thank goodness. We drove back to the trailer, and I dressed immediately. Why did I agree to that in the first place? I continue to make bad decisions, which always had consequences.

It seems like I was at their house for a couple of months still waiting on Tom. Finally, I heard from him that he had the trailer. Finally, we were going to be able to be together and give our marriage a try. I wanted to have children eventually and he did too. Things were going well for us, so we decided to try. Money was very tight for us, and we often ate macaroni and cheese and hot dogs and fried-up diced potatoes. I wasn’t working. I was finally staying home being a homemaker.

About six months later I got pregnant, and I couldn’t be happier. Toms’s best friend had sent for his wife as well and they rented a trailer in the same park too. I had become good friends with her. About a month into my pregnancy, I started spotting blood and having severe stomach pain. I started praying to God and saying “please God don’t take my baby. I am so sorry for everything I’ve ever done, and I won’t do it again.”

About a month went by and I was having severe pains. I was breaking out in a sweat, was dizzy, and felt very faint. I passed a large mass, and I was sure I had a miscarriage. I went to the Camp Lejeune emergency service and they said yes, I had miscarried. So, they proceeded to do a D and C (Dilatated of Curettage) which is scraping the walls of your uterus. They proceeded without giving me any pain medication or putting me under anesthesia. I never felt more pain in my life. I screamed and screamed for them to stop but they wouldn’t. Tom was in the waiting room, so I started screaming for him. But he never came. They sent me back home after that. Tom and I were devastated we had lost our child.

I was continuing to have pain and it kept getting worse and unbearable. I couldn’t understand–if I lost the baby, why am I still in so much pain? I made a doctor’s appointment which took about a week to get in. I asked him –why am I in so much pain? I had severe pain. He got on the phone and called the lab. Then he said we must assume the baby is still in you and it’s in your fallopian tube. We must do emergency surgery. Oh my God, how can this be happening?

They had already told me I lost the baby and now they are saying it’s in the tube. I called my husband and told him I hadn’t lost the baby. I had to have emergency surgery and I couldn’t come home. Tom was at work, so he didn’t come up for the surgery. I was extremely sick and after the surgery, they said the tube had burst and I had lost several pints of blood. I lay in that hospital for about a month without any visitors, not even Tom. I felt so alone and deserted. The only thing that made sense to me was that I must have been having twins and that one was in my uterus and one in my tube. I had miscarried the one in my uterus and the other baby was in my tube. I read somewhere in my records later it was a male embryo. The doctor had told me while in the hospital that they took the baby and the tube however one tube remained but was all scared up and would need surgery to get pregnant. He called it endometriosis. I knew I couldn’t get pregnant and so I stopped trying and never worried about a contraceptive with Tom. I fell into a deep depression after this and often cried myself to sleep asking God why me?

About three months later, my friend Judy, Paul’s wife, was pregnant. I envied her. I had just lost my baby and she was pregnant. I wanted to shout at the world this isn’t fair! But I did settle down and told her how happy I was for her. She must have been about six months pregnant. One night Judy and Paul came over at one A.M. Tom woke me up and said they were here get up. I couldn’t understand why it couldn’t wait till morning. I got up to find Judy sitting in the rocking chair rocking away. Paul said, “tell her Julie, tell her.” Judy looked me square in the eyes and said, “I’ve been having an affair with Tom.” I was both angry and in shock. Here I had befriended her, and I thought we were the best of friends and to cheat with my husband while pregnant. I wanted to reach over and smack her and throw her on the floor, but I couldn’t because she was pregnant. She claimed it was Paul’s but went on to say she was in love with them both. Oh, wow the nerve she had. I shouted at her then “Bitch! You don’t know what love is.” She went back home after that, and Tom and Paul took off in the car to talk. I don’t know to this day what was said during their talk, but Paul and Judy stayed together.

I never was friends again with her after that. When Tom got home from his talk, he started packing his bags, I yelled at him, “Oh no, you’re not leaving! I didn’t do anything wrong. I should be the one that’s leaving and I’m not going anywhere. I’m not ready to give up on us.” We would go to the same parties and Paul and Judy would be there also. It was exceedingly difficult as she was staring at him across the room and their eyes met and gazed upon the others, making me feel like I was just a piece of garbage tossed about. Meanwhile, Tom was due to get out of the service soon. So, I was biding my time so we could start a new life together far away from Judy.


Eva Marie Cagley
Eva Marie Cagley
Eva Marie Ann Cagley was born in 1958 to Frank and Priscilla Cagley. Raised in Waterloo Iowa, U.S. She spent most of her time working with teenagers as a counselor. Working with teenagers gave her immense joy, having had none of her own… She came from a large family having nine children. She has always had a passion for writing and believes it is a gift from God… There's little else to say about her as her writing reflects who she is. Her beliefs, perspectives, trials, tribulations hope and despair, dreams of all her life’s journeys…She currently has five poetry books published and a Miracle story. Her poetry and essays are on various ezines and blogs. Her poetry books can be purchased, on Amazon and Lulu. Book titles: “In the Garden of My Mind,” “Dancing in Heaven,” “The Airwaves of My Soul,” “Where Poets Dream,” I Shall Always Think of You,” “God's Miracle Story.” Her personal web page is She is in the book “To Be or Not to Be a Writer” by, Sweetycat Press publications. Available on Amazon. Who's Who of Emerging Writers 2021 published by Sweetycat Press. Also available on Amazon. The Beacon Ezine, (Poetry). Spillwords (Poetry) Honor of Socialite of the year 2021. The Academy of the Heart and Mind, (Poetry and essay). Wink Writers in The Know Magazine & Blog (Essay and poetry). Journey of the Heart, (Poetry). Wildfire Publications LLC, Inc. (Poetry and articles). Grey Thoughts, (Essays, Poetry). The New Zealand Blog (Articles and poetry). She has also been found in numerous anthologies. You can find the links to all her published works at She currently authors articles for Wildfire Publications LLC quarterly Magazine. And is a Featured Contributor for BizCatalyst 360°. She has always had the desire to write and takes her work seriously. She has just recently become aggressive by submitting her work. She is pleased with her success!

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