Bob and I arrived in Wisconsin without a hitch, the drive was uneventful, and I found myself deep in thought; we had found a Trailor in the woods to rent close to the town outside of Watertown, Wisconsin the Trailor had a backyard patio for suntanning. I did a lot of sunbathing.
SEE ALL PRIOR PARTS HERE↴
Bob started working for a roofing company contracting roofs, I started looking for work finding a job in town at a little café waitressing, customers were friendly, and I earned generous tips; Bob; was paying child support by the time he paid out his insurance and taxes; Bob; was in a hole; I set out to look for another job he went back to work for a guy he knew in town doing roofs and other odd jobs.
I landed a job at the famous Gobbler Super Club in Johnson Creek; the main course was turkey, and their bar was round and had a rotating bar with purple shag carpet walls and a suspended dance floor; called the Gobbler Theater now; I worked the supper hour and had to wear a black skirt, a white shirt, and a black bow tie, it was a lot of work carrying that food, but the tips were great! I would work at the café at noon and the supper club at night; one day, my boss at the café had no one to work and begged me to fill the shift. I called the gobbler and told them I; was needed at the café, but they replied, we need you also. The café won out, as I had grown to like the owners and patrons were my family away from home.
Meanwhile, Bobs; boss had been flirting with me and making it clear; he was interested. I just shrugged him off; until one day, he showed up at my house when Bob was at work. I sent him packing and never let him in the Trailor; things were going well between Bob and me; neither of us was drinking. Bob was so tired when he finished work; he just came home, ate, and went to bed! I was working so much I was dropping weight; I did not realize that my main course was donuts from the café; that was about the only thing I had been eating! I would spend an hour or two outside sunbathing every day.
Then one day, everything came crashing down on me like a ton of bricks; I was driving the car to meet Bob; I was lost driving, having no idea where I was; it was a road I had taken many times before, back then, there were no cell phones yet. I; do not know how I; made it back home, but I was disoriented and sat down and cried. Bawling more than I had in a long time, and I had this sense of fear and anxiety crawl over me that was all foreign to me, like a deserted island. I was on a trip now to nowhere in my mind. I thought I had done something wrong; Bob came home to me in a mess. I cried and told him I was sorry; Bob did not know what I was talking about, so he said sorry, never knowing what this terrible dark feeling of doom and incredible sadness was if someone I loved had passed away; I asked him; did someone die? He assured me no one had, but I did not believe him, I was in a strange state of mind, and nothing was making sense, knowing this dark place I had gone to was full of sorrow.
Bob called my parents, and my mom and little sister met him halfway to pick me up; Bob did not know what to do, he called my mother. I remember her asking him, what did you do to her? Bob told her nothing, he had not laid a hand on me, and he had not. All the while back to Waterloo, Iowa, I was in the back seat of my mom’s car and kept crying, asking what I had done wrong; did someone die? I could not control the fear that had taken over my body like a terrible rash; we had arrived at my parents; farmhouse, where I found myself still crying; and rolling around on the carpeted floor like a baby and asking what I did wrong. I did not believe them when they said nothing because, in my mind, something was wrong, something terrible had happened, and I was to blame; they were lying to me. Why were they lying to me? My mother called two; of my friends to come over and try to reach me, but it was a lost cause because I just kept hugging myself and was so full of fear and anxiety. I knew what I was doing; I’ did not know why, and I trusted no one; I started to doubt that my parents were my parents; they were some aliens disguising themselves as my parents. That is how far my mind had drifted from me. They all had decided I needed help. I should go to the psych ward. I did not want to go, but I had calmed down enough for breakfast with them.
At the restaurant, I thought my milk tasted like pine sole and; someone was trying to kill me, meanwhile; my thoughts went back to thinking they were not my parents, so I went into the bathroom and wrote on a piece of toilet tissue, call my parents and wrote the number on the tissue paper, before that, I had tried to use the phone, but my mom made me hang up. I told her I just wanted to call home to make sure they were not there, then I would know it was them, but I was not making any sense to them. They told me if you do not sign in yourself, we are going to have you committed I finally agreed we went to Allen Hospital, after breakfast I was to go into like a day area well; I stood by the door with sudden fear and shoved my foot in the door, so, they could not close it however in the end, they won I was behind locked doors.
There was a lady in there talking to someone else who wanted out; I asked her are you a lawyer? She said yes, so I told her they were holding me against my will. I signed myself in, and I’ should be able to leave, right? Well, she agreed, but guess what; after that, the staff came in, and gave her a set of clothes, and told her to shower. Oh, wow; now I am talking to someone who is not an attorney; she just thought she was. That was the beginning of my long road to recovery and finding some answers; I was in shock! Being in the hospital gave me some sense of reality back. The psychiatrist put me on medication, and they had crafts and groups going on that I was to join in, however; I stayed in my room, off to myself, refusing to eat their food as if someone was trying to kill me when I met my doctor, he seemed nice enough, but I; did not trust anyone everyone was plotting to get me, and I; did not know why, but I must have done something wrong.
To be continued …
