I left the bar, and I went over to my friends Sue’s house where I thought I’d be safe. I hadn’t thought about the fact her brother worked with Bob and he was there too at her house.
SEE ALL PRIOR PARTS HERE↴
Well not long after we arrived Bob showed up there and Sue let him in. He proceeded to pick me up by my neck and hold me up against the wall knocking my glasses off me once again this time breaking them. I was screaming at him the best I could to let me down, but he wasn’t budging.
I was afraid he was going to choke me to death. Sue and her brother just stood there watching they didn’t offer help and they didn’t call 911. I was defenseless. I don’t know how long I was in the air, but everything went black, and I must have passed out. Bob was gone when I opened my eyes. Funny somehow, I thought it was my fault he hurt me because I wasn’t woman enough for him. I looked in the mirror and he had given me a black eye from hitting my glasses off my face so hard. Well, I’d show him. That stubbornness of mine had gotten me in trouble before and this wasn’t the first time. I don’t know why but it was a matter of days, and we were getting along again. Until one day at home, he’d been drinking and thought I was seeing someone else while he was out of town. I had not been, but he started to chase me around the house I had no shoes or socks on but the keys to the car were handy I ran outside without my coat got in the car, and peeled out to Carver’s restaurant where my mom was bartending. I felt safe there. Dad showed up from Waterloo mom had called him and sure enough, Bob was waiting in the parking lot for me. He wanted to talk. My dad went outside and had words with him and told him if he ever touched me again, he would wipe the asphalt up with his face. Naturally, Bob was still in his truck and for some stupid reason, I agreed to go out and talk to him. I agreed to go home with him that night he hadn’t laid a hand on me, I just ran from fear knowing what he could do as he had before. We went home and he wanted to have sex. I didn’t want to, but I did, and I was angry at my own body for betraying me and responding to his touch.
These newfound feelings I was experiencing had my body and mind in turmoil and on different mindsets. My brain told me to get away as far as I could, but my body was saying give him another chance after all what more could he do to you? He always wanted to have sex right after we fought without even making up. I don’t know if it was his way of making up or punishing me because I hated the way my body responded to just his slightest touch. I despised myself for not having any control when it came to him. I was in control before him I had to be in control to prevent any further abuse. I’d had enough of that in my life! Things seemed to settle down after that and we started to discuss marriage. I know, not again.
We decided to get married by the justice of the peace. I thought that would change things and make him feel more secure. He was working out of town and was to be home by noon we were getting married at 4.30 with my mom and her girlfriend from work as witnesses. Time kept creeping past noon and I started to think he had backed out of it, but I was wrong he showed up just in time drunk. Well, the wedding went forward short and sweet, and then it was back to the bar for ordure’s and drinks.
We made love that night and it was pleasant and passionate, we managed to not get in a fight on our wedding night.
As days went on, we both continued drinking quite a bit and all he would have to do is give me a dirty look and I would cringe. One evening we went out to dinner and had quite the conversation I told him if he ever lay hand on me again, I’m gone. He told me every relationship went through this and it wouldn’t be better with anyone else. I bought into that perception for a while, but he had quit drinking and that was the main thing, right? I had stopped using all drugs including alcohol. Bob didn’t get high on drugs just drank alcohol and he was willing to quit for us so I thought things would change.
He told me his life story about how when his parents split up his mom didn’t want him, she took his siblings but told him he was going with his dad. Now Bob loved his dad very much and never said a bad word about him however he hated his mother and had resentment towards her deeper that any canyon you could imagine. I thought no wonder he’s the way he is. He hates women and I was right in the middle of it.
He had two tattoos on his hands one said the word LOVE and the Other HATE! He had been in the service in the Korean Conflict at the youthful age of seventeen and he was bearing many scars emotionally from that time in his life as well. He had seen a lot of death and had barely escaped himself several times. So naturally, I started feeling sorry for him for having it so rotten. That he was just misunderstood. And I did make that promise if he didn’t hurt me physically anymore, I wouldn’t leave.
That was the beginning of the mental abuse and dirty looks and threats. But he didn’t touch me so he thought that was okay he was a dry drunk and he might just as well have been drinking. Bob was a roofer when I met him, and he was buff. I mean he had a beautiful tan and muscled out all over. Busy long curly brown hair. And about five ”6.
He got tired of working for his boss one day and came home and said he was going into business for himself, and we were moving to Wisconsin. Oh my God, we were moving to Wisconsin where I don’t know anyone. No family around for support and the thought of that scared me half to death. Meanwhile, I was still wanting a baby of my own, but I kept telling myself not with him you don’t! God only knows how he would be with a child underfoot. I couldn’t put my child through that not what he had done to me. Before we left for Wisconsin, he told me he had lied to me about something, and I thought imagine that well he had told me he was thirty-four. I thought that wasn’t too bad he’s only ten years older than me. Well then, he told me he had switched the numbers around he was forty-three. I was twenty-four at the time I believe. I looked at him and said Well it’s a little late to tell me that now, isn’t it?
So, we packed our bags and headed for Wisconsin where he was going to subcontract for a roofing company there. All the while I’m wondering what’s in store for me now that I would be away from both family and friends. I wasn’t too happy about it no not happy at all.
To Be Continued …
