Selfish Love

It’s been some time since I felt the desire to write again. Coupled with the business of daily life, taking a pilgrimage to Europe and settling back into a routine, weeks and months have passed. However, the re-occurring word “LOVE” continues to follow me in thought and daily observation of family, friends, and strangers. “Selfish Love”, what is it? Am I giving to those in my life, “Selfish Love”?

“Selfish Love” shrinks one’s heart till it has no room either for yourself or for your neighbors. “Selfish Love” separates one from God and others. “Selfish Love” is wretched. It parts ways with justice and perpetrates injustice, it is characterized by a slavish fear that keeps it from acting justly as it should; whether because of flattery or dread of losing prestige.

One of the greatest saints of our time; Saint Catherine of Siena, a doctor of the church, a Dominican nun, stigmata and papal counsel wrote:

Feeling absolutely sure I do not carry “Selfish Love”, I see the opposite of “Un-Selfish Love” through charity to others. “Selfish Love” is death dealing, while “Un-selfish love gives life. One brings darkness, the other brings light; one brings war, while the other brings peace.

It has been nearly 2 ½ years since I have been able to communicate with my daughter, and my grandchildren. Her decision, not mine, and the reason’s do not make sense, but what is for sure is the pain it brings as I have no way of seeing my grandchildren without being forceful which would cause problems. So I pray and hope that some day my grandchildren will want to reach out, but more importantly that my daughter will want to reconcile. Is this “Selfish Love” as described above? I never want to put a label on someone I love however; I need to be clear in their actions.

God has brought me love in many ways; “true love” and some day I will expound on this further, but for now I am content with His constant “Unselfish Love”.


Lynn Forrester-Pitocco
Lynn Forrester-Pitocco
LYNN is Retired from Law Enforcement as a Police Officer, with a background in nursing and previously a member of the Search and Rescue Team with the Los Angeles Sheriff’s Department, A retired member of the Orange Police Department, she became the first female SWAT member on an elite team while becoming a member of the Olympic Shooting Team during the early years on the department. A mother and a grandmother, a devout Catholic who currently resides in Houston, Texas. Her hobbies include writing, painting, and a contemplative prayer life. She is in love with her faith, but the love she carries for her two grown children and grandchildren who rest in her heart surpasses everything except her faith in God. Since retirement, Lynn has done private investigation, worked as a gang counselor with middle schools, A member of Bl. Mother Teresa’s Order called the (Lay Missionaries of Charity), she is also a pro-life advocate, often called upon to give testimony and speak to youth groups, as well as adult forums. She has published a children’s book entitled “The Children’s Garden” and is currently working on two additional children’s books. She is currently working on the major one focused on her experience in Law Enforcement entitled “Heels and a Badge”. (copyright). Her paintings and sketches, writings, can be viewed on her Pinterest boards (click on the Pinterest ICON below). Her dream is to one-day write a movie for Hallmark. Dreams do come true … See Lynn’s entire collection of thought-provoking Articles by clicking on her byline. Lynn is a contributing author to the inspiring book Chaos to Clarity: Sacred Stories of Transformational Change.

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  1. Lynn, my heart breaks for you, but also for your daughter and grandchildren. Whatever has broken the bond between you is not at all how God planned your relationship. As I read all I could think of is how this chasm is already filled with regrets and loss. These verses kept coming to my mind as your story unfolded. “Ephesians 3:16-19 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”

    Your trip to Europe sounds fascinating. I’m glad you are making good memories even though you would rather be making them with your family. You can’t do anything about how others feel but you can do something about how you react to it. Live your life anyway. Hopefully they will all see the void where family belongs.