Self-Sabotaging Professional Careers

I know quite a few brilliant students from their schools, colleges, and then universities, who were simply the very best in their studies, but when they entered their professional careers, they saw people they outperformed at educational institutions were now far ahead of them. Likewise, there were colleagues at their companies who had leapfrogged them. Sometimes they wonder, “What and where are they going wrong?”

Does this sound familiar? We might relate to this, or have an employee or loved one who struggles with similar issues. Let’s always remember this: “Raw intelligence is undoubtedly a huge asset, but it isn’t everything”. And sometimes, when intellectually gifted people don’t achieve as much as they’d like to, it’s because they’re subtly undermining themselves and others. This means they certainly need to acquire some additional skills.

Here are five situations where I’ve seen smart people particularly struggle with:

1.    Undermine Others’ Skills

Intelligent and bright people sometimes see their success as inevitable because of their intellect and don’t see other skills as important. e.g., an individual who finds workplace diplomacy difficult might write this off as an irritation rather than as a core skill required for the job role. Sometimes, they are not good at relationship building, and professional networking, thus they are unable to grow their influence.

Bright kids typically receive a lot of reinforcement throughout their early lives that their intelligence is deeply valued. They grow up being told they’re smart, and during their schooling, experience that success comes more easily to them than to others. It’s easy to understand why, as a result, they would continue to focus on their intellect as adults. But in most workplaces, one needs more than raw intelligence, i.e. relationship building, professional networking, etc.

2.    Loners

When someone grasps concepts quickly and has high standards for their own performance it can create difficulties when working with others who take longer to process information and pick up concepts. If a person felt held back at school by being in a class with less smart kids, this frustration with teamwork can develop early — we know what this feels like if we routinely did most of the work on group projects, or got scolded for daydreaming during a class that was moving too slowly for us.

These feelings can get re-triggered throughout life. When people develop an emotional raw spot as a child, they often have outsized internal reactions when that raw spot is rubbed into their adult life. Intelligent or smart people also sometimes find it difficult to delegate because of a sense they can do a task better (regardless of whether this is actually true.) This is especially likely for those who have a perfectionist streak.

3.    Poor Communicators

There is no point in burning irreplaceable bridges for no reason. In order to be successful in our careers, we must learn to communicate effectively, with clarity, confidence, and compassion, from a place of kindness and respect for others. So many people burn critical bridges and slam doors on fabulous new opportunities because they don’t know the basics about communicating.

We simply can’t maintain success over the long haul if we behave unreasonably, become arrogant or narcissist, acting superior, and remain oblivious to the needs and desires of others. Success may come temporarily, but it will flow right through our fingers if our choice of words irritates and offends people everywhere we go.

4.    Insensitive About Future

Another important thing most of us are not taught at schools is career management. Let’s always remember that our career won’t just flow in the right direction on its own — we must proactively shape it. I’ve been stunned lately by how many of my clients have been beaten down by this — with bosses who won’t allow them to grow, toxic work environments that suck the life out of them, and jobs that make them numb.

I fully endorse that we need to do what’s necessary to stay afloat financially, and that might mean we have to stay temporarily in a role we may not like. But let’s not sacrifice our future selves. Let’s find ways to plant the seeds for our future self every day, by building skills, strengths, and experiences in directions that will enrich us. Let’s treat our future self with respect and care — and take actions that will help us move forward towards the right work, in the right way.

5.    Poor Decision-makers

We all make a lot of life-changing decisions — be it work or family life, from what job to take or reject, to the partners we’ll collaborate with, and new directions to pursue and so on and so forth. These decisions can take us on painful detours if they clash fiercely with what we really want deep within. Do we really understand how to make a decision so that it aligns with what we know to be true and then adds to our capabilities and experiences in positive ways?

Most individuals have never learned how to make effective decisions — to evaluate with discernment the options in front of them, accurately assess the risks and benefits of each potential choice, and muster the courage to pursue the right decision.

If our decisions don’t align what who we are authentically or what we deeply value and care about, we’ll squash our opportunities for true success, no matter how “good” the decision looks in the moment.

Conclusion

Which of these five patterns do you identify with the most? Try rank-ordering them. Are there colleagues or other people in your life who seem to fall into these traps? Try to let go of any sense of shame or judgment — it’s not necessary or useful for overcoming these shortcomings. In fact, it is our behaviors that sabotage success in our lives, in our relationship with ourselves, people, the world, and our higher selves.

The sad truth is that the vast majority of people don’t realize when they’re destroying their chances for success and happiness. They remain oblivious to how they’re repelling the very outcomes they claim to be desperate for. And this type of self-sabotage leads to a great deal of pain and regret down the line.