Self-Love Paves the Way

When you want to achieve something in life or master a goal it is important to imagine yourself experiencing and living that dream.  Literally, visualize the dream into reality.  Visualizing yourself through your senses is a great way to manifest your dreams.  Begin taking steps towards your goal.  You will notice challenges along the way, that is part of the human experience.  And obstacles may cause self-sabotage, resistance, and fear to throw you off course.  But something that makes the journey exponentially better is awareness and action through self-loving practices.  Most people don’t realize self-loving strategies reduce the resistance and self-sabotaging behavior.   And this is possible because regularly using self-loving strategies reduces the impact stress plays on the nervous system, mind, and body when challenges happen.  Tackling your stress response regularly reduces the buildup of stress and toxins in the body.  So here are some steps that helped me master my goals as I worked through the resistance that trauma left behind.

Step 1: Visualize the Goal through your senses.  Dream it.

You need to daydream in the waking hours and your subconscious will replay it in your sleep.  Visualize the goal unfolding and manifesting in your life.  Visualize the environment. Notice the people around you and see them benefiting from your goal.  Notice the blessings you receive (trips, cars, gifts).  Use your senses to feel the experience (taste, smell, touch, sensations) to bring it into your physical reality.  And visualize it often, daily or weekly for best results.

Step 2: Redirect Your Thoughts. And address self-sabotage or resistance.

Redirect the negative thoughts in your mind. And remind yourself to Believe in your dream.  Believe it is possible to achieve it.  Believe you are worthy of it. Believe you will get it.  And remind yourself as often as needed that you deserve it and will manifest it.

That negative voice will sometimes get the better of you.  And when it does self-sabotage and resistance will occur.  And that is the tricky part of manifesting a dream.  You need to prove it to the judge in your head that you are worthy and deserve this goal.  So repetition and consistency is key.

Every time a negative thought or belief pops into your mind, remember to shift the thought to a positive, grateful, and hopeful one instead.

And when the positive thought won’t stick or frustration sets in, notice your body.  And recognize if the emotion is creating a symptom in your body.  Do you feel fatigue, stress, pain, or some other physical symptom? If yes, it is time to practice self-love (self-love strategies coming below).  The thought created a symptom that needs to be addressed to move forward.

Therefore, to master your mind, remind yourself often…The only person that needs to approve is the face in the mirror. Forget the judgements and criticism that may come your way. And whenever you feel stuck or frozen, use self-love to shift the body through movement.  Because moving the body releases emotions and stress thus allowing the mind to feel more calm, peaceful, and relaxed.  Thus, setting the stage to move forward rather than getting stuck.

Step 3: Repeat, Repeat, Repeat

Repetition and Consistency is key.  Every day you need to visualize, redirect and shift thoughts, feelings, and beliefs through self-love.  Because you are worth achieving the dream. You are capable of reaching for the sky and the stars. It took me years to believe this was possible. But shifting your perspective and practicing self-love will prove to manifest your goals rapidly. So reach for your dreams and get out of your own way.

Step 4: Shift Your body and mind often.

The challenge that happens often in life is obstacles, challenges and triggers happen regularly.  So mastering self-loving practices and shifting the mindset is crucial to flow towards your goal rather than getting stuck or falling off track. Physical activity through exercise, dance, movement, yoga, touch, etc. will address the body to free the mind.

Step 5: Recognize your triggers and take action when they arise.

It is part of life to learn the triggers that get in your way.  These triggers can easily throw you off course and set you on a path of self-sabotage. It is normal that triggers happen but self-sabotage doesn’t have to be normal.  Recognizing and addressing the reaction to your triggers with self-love will break the cycle.

The real secret to mastering the patterns triggers and challenges bring is to identify and use strategies that destroy the stress by addressing the body.  The more you recognize your patterns, use the strategies and break the cycle, the easier the journey becomes.  And one day you will suddenly notice those obstacles that used to throw you off course suddenly propel you forward. This shift in mindset and perspective is essential to reach for the goal and attain it. So here are some tools to get you back on track and setting your destination towards your dream.

Setting A Course Toward Your Dream:

1. Visualize yourself achieving the dream goal
2. Notice what feelings, beliefs, or emotions this goal will bring you (calm, balanced, joy, freedom, courage, etc.) Use your senses to feel the benefits of reaching the goal. What do you taste, smell, feel, sense, see?
3. Repeat often

Shifting the Negative Voice:

1. Notice the way you feel after the thought arises.  Notice if you have a symptom or pain arise with the thought, feeling or belief.
2. Take a deep breath and reframe the thought or voice in your head. Example: I can’t do this. = I can do this. Breathe in the new thought several times. Close your eyes if you need to and focus your breath on the thought.
3. Write it down.  A great way to shift a persistent negative voice is to write the new positive thought down.  Write it several times to reinforce the change you are choosing.

Transforming a Trigger into Motivation:

1. Identify the trigger that throws you off course (person, place or situation). Keep note of each trigger.  And recognize and address it if it arises.
2. Find the emotion or feelings felt after being triggered
3. Identify the physical symptoms you experienced (tension, pain, hot flash, dizziness, etc.)
4. Use a self-love technique (self-love hug):

  • Notice the symptom, feeling, or emotion in your body
  • Take 3 deep slow breaths.
  • Try the 555 Breath. Count to 5 as you slowly inhale, hold your breath for 5 seconds, then slowly exhale for 5 seconds.
  • Notice your face and body as you shift your focus into your breath.
  • Self-love hug. Cross your arms and gently massage your arms and shoulders.  This is an easy way to calm the nervous system through touch. Combine with 555 Breath for maximum results.
  • Notice any lingering tender or sore spots in the body.
  • Gently massage any tender spot while you focus on your breath
  • Imagine the stress melting away. Close your eyes and imagine a colorful light entering that tender spot.  And imagine your breath is releasing any stress or tension with each exhale.
  • Repeat self-love regularly.

Self-love has many different tools at your disposal but the secret to unlocking them is to recognize the activities that bring you joy and calm your body.  The self-love hug is a simple strategy but techniques like yoga, dancing, swimming, singing, etc. will also support you.  Once you identify which self-love activities work for you, then it is a matter of repeating them and using them regularly. All it takes to make it into a habit is to use the technique for the next 21 days.  And once it is a habit, it is easy to add another habit to your tool belt.  All you need to reach your goal is consistency and dedication.  So plan a goal and set a course toward your dream by using self-love to empower you.


Diane Vich
Diane Vich
My name is Diane Vich. I am a registered nurse, professor, author, and holistic health coach. I help women explore their inner dreams and desires through mind, body, and soul connection. I use my experiences overcoming chronic illness and disability with alternative therapies, to help my clients overcome trauma, chronic disease, and negative patterns that impact their health, happiness, and dreams. My transformation began when I went through a significant health crisis that took me away from direct patient care in nursing and opened my eyes to the importance of my own health. I adopted holistic healing modalities while facing a debilitating illness and fatigue that required me to take 13 prescription medications each day and have 9 surgeries before the age of 40. Through nutrition, mindfulness, fitness, dance, vocals, hypnosis, and emotional healing, I not only transformed my health but reconnected with my long lost libido. My passion is now to help women create a deep sense of awareness to tackle the root of their pain and symptoms and unveil their intuition, natural healing potential, and feminine power. I now help women connect with their sexual power and heal past trauma through workshops, coaching, books, and novels. I believe that sexual energy is the key to creativity, empowerment, and fulfillment but it is essential to tackle the trauma at the root to unveil a deeper sense of ingenuity and intuition. I currently live in Miami. And in my free time, I enjoy spending time with my husband and my two children in the outdoors: camping, boating, and bonding with each other and mother nature. I spread knowledge, love, and support for the special needs community through empowerment for parents. Diane is a contributing author to the inspiring book Crappy to Happy: Sacred Stories of Transformational Joy

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