Self-love: A Manifestation of Our Human Beingness

Self-love is an invisible connection with our whole beings, experienced or felt in varying ways on different days. It’s akin to our unseen fascia, the unifying tissue surrounding and holding our organs, bones, blood vessels, and muscles together. Like fascia, self-love encases and stabilizes us. But even more, it holds and warms us.

Our thoughts work against us at times, questioning, even doubting, our self-love. So, when we are able to experience it, the awareness often comes through our hearts, intuition, bodies, and energy, radiating from our deepest essences or souls.

It’s sometimes a challenge to convince our minds of self-love, in fact, when we’re “out of our minds,” grounded in our entire beingness, it’s almost easier to experience it.

Self-love includes valuing our bodies as they are today, these changing containers we’ve been given for our true selves. When we truly love ourselves, we can cherish our bodies as they are right now. Not how they could be. Not how they used to be. Our bodies change yearly, even monthly. Self-love is the unconditional, wise grace that embraces those changes without criticism.

If you notice that you’re putting yourself down, try seeing yourself as your dearest friend or treasured family member. Pay attention to the harsh things you’re saying to yourself, then backspace and delete them. Replace with phrases that are unconditionally kind. Make these words, not mere affirmations, because cognitive reframes aren’t enough; bring the truth of the absolute love that is your very nature into your body and whole-being. Try strolling around a room you’re in with your hands on your heart and belly, consciously breathing into your whole-being with awareness of the love from within. Exhale into the love that surrounds you –your energy– and give yourself a hug.

We often get hung up believing that we are what we do, how we look, or how we act. Those are expressions of ourselves but are not our true selves. We are integrated beings; that is who and what we are. Self-love is remembering our being-ness, personifying who we truly are, and living that incarnation. Self-love is not an intention or even a commitment to love ourselves, although those help. It is activating and exemplifying the innate love we were born with, for ourselves. Additionally, we connect to something greater with this love: to God, nature or the universe, so it is an unconditional emanation sourcing the highest love accessible. It is consciously empowering then, to counter our culture, go against the societal grain, and remember who we truly are. To love ourselves, deeply and completely.


Pamela Brinker
Pamela Brinker
Pamela Brinker has been a well-respected and experienced social worker, and integrative psychotherapist for over 30 years. She is a committed mental health advocate, helping others transform difficulties into foundations for strength and compassion as they find gratitude, hope, and freedom in everyday living. In addition to receiving a traditional education, she integrates skills from: somatic experiencing therapy, dreamwork, EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing), meditation, and yoga into her trainings and sessions. Pamela recently transitioned from her individual counseling private practice to pursue her dreams of becoming a published author and international speaker to get her messages out and to reach larger groups of people needing her guidance. She keeps a limited therapy practice. She teaches “whole-being awareness,” along with many other tools and practices she designed or refined, to cultivate and embed principles of conscious bravery. Pamela’s personal life experiences dealing with and caring for her own family with mental health challenges and addiction, her diligent personal yoga, meditation, and dreamtending practices have influenced her life and her work. They contribute to her being a recognized expert in these fields. Pamela has taught groups and led workshops on a variety of themes including: grief, supporting loved ones with addiction, mental health, conscious bravery, eating disorders, sports psychology, and dreamwork. She’ll be teaching about whole-being leadership as well. Pamela enjoys poetry, music, and art, is a level one sommelier, and adores traveling the world. A former elite athlete, she loves biking and hiking, skate skiing and yoga, plays piano and the ukulele, and brings tenacious joy into each of her passions. She and her husband David divide their time between the mountains and the ocean.

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  1. Great piece, short and to the point Pamela. Self worth and accepting what we think of ourselves first and foremost is important in our daily relationships, careers, and life. It took me a long time to figure that out.

    • Insightful addition, Lynn. It takes all of us time to know certain important things, but impactful experience is usually how we learn and then embody these truths.

    • Thank you, Frank. I appreciate you remembering this from the book. The wilderness of addiction & mental health is harsh, and our loved ones need compassionate, tenacious love that is emitted from us towards them. We can be like a drink of cool water for them when they need us.