I read a recent post by John Moore in which he wrote, “So, for years, I downplayed my writing because it made me stand out.” This line evoked many memories having witnessed people who dread success. There are many reasons for that some of which are self-imposed and the others come from outside.
One memory that rushed into my mind was that of the director general of a regional company who was a mad fan of a soccer team in which his son was playing. He was a sore loser and turned bitter if his team emerged as a loser. One day he asked one of the employees to go and attend the match because the director general had other commitments and could not go himself. He asked the employee to come back and report the result.
The poor employees on the managers’ team lost 3-0. The employee who reported the result became very hated by the manager. Losing a game for him was kind of self-minimizing and belittling him. The poor employee suffered many forms of punishment.
I want to say that sore losers transfer the problems of their self-deprecation to others. The problems become larger than one person and it can easily hurt innocent ones.
One other example of transferring our self-deprecation onto others is that of the DG of a firm and again this is a real story. The manager of the firm arranged for one hour of recreation time in a social room which he made sure to have many sorts of recreation activities. So far so good, but what is not good is that he enjoyed playing chess as long as he won. I must say that he was a very good chess player.
One day a new employee played a game against the manager and the manager lost. The poor employee was sacked and since then no one dared to lose against him.
Self-Minimization
The root causes of self-minimizing or self-deprecation are complex. These include memories from childhood, fear of exposure, public pressure, and imposter syndrome in which a person may belittle his achievements.
I recall from my school days students bullying achieving students and boycotting them to isolate them. Those students felt that the achieving students exposed them and deprived them of excuses. Instead of trying to do better, they isolated the achieving students who had one of two choices. These were to leave or stop doing very well to be in harmony with other students.
The external influence can be great for achievers to eclipse their successes seeking social acceptance.
Another cause for self-deprecation is fear of fame. The media tends to cover the success stories of big achievers and the fear of losing their privacy those people halt their achievements.
Fear of losing something can easily lead to self-deprecation.
What other reasons do you suggest?
