At times a poor habit becomes a pattern of behavior that leads to one of many addictions, such as drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, pornography, food, social media, etc. (Yes, there are people addicted to social media). So, what is an addiction? According to Wikipedia, addiction is a biopsychosocial disorder characterized by compulsive engagement in rewarding stimuli despite adverse consequences. Are you confused yet?
Here is my interpretation. Addiction is a pattern of behavior in an activity that initially gives us pleasure, so we continue the behavior believing we can control it and stop at any time. However, if this behavior becomes compulsive, it controls us and can lead to adverse consequences.
Discussion at a rehab center
While researching my book Storm Seeds, a story about a young woman’s battle with multiple addictions after suffering a catastrophic injury, I had the opportunity to sit in on a talk by a recovering drug addict. He had been through the program more than once. He said:
“I am one of you. I have been in and out of rehab more times than I care to admit. Life is hard, and it certainly is not fair. It takes extraordinary courage and strength to navigate through all the obstacles life drops in our way. Many of us try to navigate these obstacles alone. Why? I wish I had an answer. I don’t. I do have a theory. Many of us have been hurt, betrayed, or abandoned by the very people we depended upon for guidance and support. We no longer trust or have faith in people. As we try to navigate alone, we make the wrong choices and surround ourselves with the wrong people, which just makes things worse.”
He paused for effect and then continued, “We all know that misery loves company. It waits and watches for those who are hurting. It senses the storm seeds in our minds. Misery starts as a friend. It will gain our trust. It will commiserate with us by watering and nurturing our storm seeds. It will not offer help. If we challenge misery and move forward, it will pull us back down. It takes advantage of us. It sucks the very life out of us. Misery’s goal is to replace our hope and faith with anger, depression, and despair.
Most of us addicts don’t change our course. We do well here in rehab, but once we get out, misery is waiting. Most of us aren’t strong enough to defeat misery alone. Unfortunately, most of us will be back in rehab, jail, or found dead on the street. Misery is an invincible opponent if we try to fight it alone. When the storm seeds are raging in our minds, when we feel we can no longer continue, when we are overwhelmed by misery, remember this phase – ‘Look up. Get up and Never ever give up.’”
One of the patients shouted out, “Are you of those born-again religious nuts? I am so sick and tired of you people.”
Undeterred, he continued, “I don’t consider myself a man of religion, nor am I a man of science. I know many of us addicts, probably most of us have said, ‘I don’t believe in God, or a Greater Power, the spirit, or the universe.’ Call it what you will. I know we have all said, ‘Where was God when my life was falling apart?’ What I discovered is God, or the spirit was there, but we, or should I say I, chose to go it alone.”
Turning to the patient who spoke, he said, “Why did I trust the spirit, something I can’t see? Why not? What I was doing sure as hell didn’t work. So, I talked to the spirit and asked for help. Although some people call this prayer, I don’t. I just call it speaking to someone or something who cares and listens. So, I asked for guidance. I asked for grace. I asked for mercy. I didn’t expect anything to change, but what harm was there in trying. I bounced off a few walls, but isn’t freedom from addiction worth it?”
There is help
No one has to or should face misery alone. It doesn’t have to be as extreme as an addiction. It can be any form of abuse or situation where you feel helpless. Pay attention to signs and take action. Nothing changes until we choose to start moving forward. Many people and resources are ready and willing to stand with you. The first step is up to you.
Stepping Stones to Avoid Getting Stuck
1. What habit or pattern of behavior do you want to change?
2. What action(s), if any, have you taken to address this pattern?
3. What obstacles did you run into when you started to take action?
4. What is your plan when you start to “back slide?” (you will back slide)
DM me to speak at your organization. Let’s talk. 
