Previously, I had run away from home hitchhiking all over the south with my boyfriend Basil. To the present state of Arkansas. Basil had taken off to parts of the unknown and left me with the strangers that had taken us in.
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After the first two weeks he was gone, I found myself crying myself to sleep once again and wondering was, he going to come back for me at all. It had been three long weeks since I had seen Basil. Believing I would never lay eyes on him again and wondering if I would ever get up enough nerve to go home on my own and how would I get there. I kept wondering what was going on back home and how would they all take me coming back. No one in my family had ever left before. I could just hear my dad now yelling at me in a rage and telling me I wasn’t welcome there anymore. Funny had more fear at the thought of returning home than my departure.
Basil did return after about three weeks and the very next day we set out again for Waterloo Iowa. Home sweet home, I was going home finally. The trip home really was surprisingly uneventful. We caught rides and walked quite a spell. All the while I kept having these visions of defeat when I arrived. Dad, being mad as h**l. I’d called my friend Luanne up and told her I was coming home. The plan was to go to her house to collect my thoughts. Seemed the appropriate place as after all, that’s where our journey had begun. The lie of going shopping with her and instead hitting the road with Basil for unknown territories.
When we finally arrived in town we went straight to Luanne’s house. She told us that my dad had been looking for me and that he was going to press charges against Basil as he was nineteen and I was sixteen. I didn’t want that to happen I cared for Basil dearly. Luanne’s Mother was home, and Luanne took off for a while. Basil had disappeared as well.
I was sitting in the kitchen looking out the window when I saw my dad’s blue ford pickup truck pull in. I looked at Luanne’s mother with pure fear on my face. I desperately told her; my dad is in the driveway what should I do? Her reply was simply to go and answer the door. I swallowed the lump in my throat held back the tears and I did just that. I went to answer the door.
He came striding in the door and he was so tall. Taller than I remembered. I felt myself shrinking in his presence. My head was down, and I was trying not to make eye contact. He walked up to me put his arms around me and looked down at me. I slowly raised me gaze upwards to meet him in the eyes. He said, you big dummy I didn’t have anyone to watch T.V. with. It was then we both broke down and cried. I had no recollection of my dad ever hugging me, but he did that day. We both stood there a long moment and somehow, I knew everything was going to be okay. Dad asked me, are you ready to come home? So, we both said goodbye to Luanne’s Mother and got into his pickup truck, and headed home.
He had changed my father. Gone was the anger in his eyes and across his brow. I could only see worried lines now. He was calm and not angry as I expected. Somehow, I knew things would be different and it would be okay. I was finally home and that’s all that mattered. I could deal with what life threw my way because I was much stronger now and all the wiser from being on the road.
My mother had no idea I had returned as she was still at work. Dad told me to hide in the bathroom when she pulled in the driveway and to come out when mom got into the house. When she arrived, I walked out of the bathroom with a smile on my face but what met my eyes was not my loving mothers’ eyes. No, she was staring at me with contempt, and I was confused why would she be mad? Isn’t she happy to see me? Glaring at me she spoke, so your alive I had wished they had found you in the ditch half dead so I would know where you were at! My mother had become hard like my dad and dad had become understanding like my mom. Talk about throwing me for a loop. She was angry with me.
I went to summer school to make up credits and got back into my grade at East High School. Basil stuck around a while Mom and Dad even let him stay in the basement for a while, but he was a wayward traveler and had no ties to anything, He left one night in the middle of the night and I never saw him again. Mom remained bitter towards me all my high school years and I had to work at earning her trust again. Not an easy task as she thought I was going to run away again. Even threatened to sit on me if she had to and tie me to my bed.
But I promised I would never run away again after that and I kept that promise despite the struggle I had adjusting. I had a newfound strength to stand up for myself and not be taken advantage of anymore, I refused to be a victim. I was a true survivor. I learned a lot that summer I was on the road which has been with me for a lifetime now. Today I have compassion and I am a child advocate! Today I hold my head up high and look into the eyes of people and I read them, and I put myself in their shoes and I try my best to understand the cycle of abuse so many go through. I am no longer that little girl that was a victim I am a true survivor and I attribute it to the wisdom I gained while on the road so many years ago.
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Epilogue: Do not do as I did so many years ago. Hitch-hiking is extremely dangerous. You never know who might pick you up. I got lucky. Back in the 1970s, it was not illegal to hitchhike, but it still wasn’t safe. If you’re abused at home, there are a lot of resources nowadays. You can speak to a teacher or counselor or a friend that can speak for you. There are youth shelters now for kids in need of assistance. And people out there that care and do believe you! I can’t stress enough that it’s not safe to run away as I did. Each state and city have a department of human services that can help. Tell someone –the police, a friend, a parent –anyone you feel you can trust.
The Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline is 1-800-422-4453. For an emergency call 911!
© Eva Marie Ann Cagley
Love this my dear friend, see you on the Lost Highways !!!
Thanks Larry