How Staying Positive Helps @Work? was the title of my article published in June 2022. Today we will try and look at the other side of the paradigm i.e., “Negativity”. We all see haters, doubters, and people who begin their conversation with a flat ‘NO’. A million-dollar question: How to overcome the negativity we encounter in our lives? We all meet, interact with, and face haters, doubters, primarily negative people — the formidable foes lurking in every life journey. But let’s not worry as we will touch base on the skillset and attitude required to rise above their negativity and conquer the battlefield.
Who are these People?
Before we move ahead with the remedies, let’s find out who are these people — the skilled art critics of our world. These individuals supposedly know everything on this planet Earth, excel at pointing out every flaw, and potential failure and give reasons as to why a certain idea won’t work. But guess what? Their negativity is like an outdated meme — irrelevant and destined for obscurity.
Let’s remember to surround ourselves with a tribe of believers who offer constructive feedback. We all hear this repeatedly “Rome wasn’t built in a day”. Neither will our business or enterprise. Let’s keep pushing forward, relentlessly challenging the ‘No Sayers’ preconceived notions, and watch as their skepticism crumbles in the face of our undeniable success.
Let’s now discuss why such ‘species’ behave this way and how to effectively handle and overcome their negativity.
- Positive Self-Talk
Let’s begin with Positive Self-Talk and stopping Negative Self Talk. We are unfortunately raised and trained by our parents and teachers to always keep improving and to go the extra mile in whatever we do. Nearly 90% of self-talk is negative. Also, let’s learn and appreciate those who believe and practice self-care. Here are four suggested steps:
- Don’t stay longer with people who talk negative. Excuse and leave;
- Don’t keep such negative thoughts inside you. Let it out to help process, not to dwell;
- Track it. Identify when you have negative thoughts. Awareness will enable reframing;
- Once you know why you are being negative about certain things, consider what your best friend would say to you. Then tell yourself what you need to hear.
- Replace the Negative Thoughts
We mostly don’t overcome negative thought patterns, we replace them. For most of us, those negative thought patterns are well-worn neural pathways. Here are four simple steps:
- Notice when you have started the pattern;
- Acknowledge that it is a pattern you want to change;
- Articulate what you want to be different;
- Choose a different behavior — one that serves your goals.
- Ask Tough Questions
Ask these tough questions to none other than yourself. Reflect on your answers:
- What do I get from having negative thought patterns?
- What’s the reward for me?
- What do I lose by engaging in negative thoughts?
- What are the costs?
- What benefits would I receive from engaging in positive thoughts?
- What costs are associated with thinking more positively?
- What in my past made me think negatively?
- What will I do now?
- Appreciate Little Things
Instead of cribbing and complaining all the time about everything in life, let’s learn to appreciate little things that others may not do. One powerful way to do that is to speak (out loud if we can) about what we love, like, and appreciate. Here are a few examples for passing positive energy to others:
- What a great weather it is today;
- I love autumn for showing me the different colors of tree leaves;
- Thanks for serving such a tasty food today;
- I love the way you make coffee;
- I like the way your office is decorated;
- I appreciate your encouragement and support.
- Focus On Gratitude
This is much more than simply appreciation. William Arthur Ward once said: “Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” Gratitude is the gift that keeps on giving. Unfortunately, gratitude is somewhat underrated by most but is essential for a happy life. Life doesn’t get easier, but we become stronger as we reframe difficulties by recognizing all of the little good things going on around us. Keep a Good List and refer to it daily. Also, focus on what we really want and be very specific. A focused, positive mind will attract what it is seeking over time.
Closure
To sum it up we view the world through our mental attitude. If that attitude is predominantly negative, it can impact everything, including health, career, family, and much more. Additionally, negative thinking can have a spiraling effect that attracts more negative thinking. Here are a few suggestions through which we can train ourselves over time on how to think by implementing simple techniques. Let’s rise above the negativity, fuel our fire with others’ doubts, and let our unwavering belief in ourselves guide us toward greatness.
