Resting By The River

She placed a single rose on the cold marble headstone.  I often wonder if she did it for him or for her own comfort, an uncontrollable desire to touch something that is gone.  Perhaps it is a desire to remind her of a memory that slowly fades as time goes by.

I also wonder why coming here brings her peace.  Does she honestly think that he is resting in the quiet field by the river?  It is a question I cannot really answer, yet I know that thought comforts her?  It is sadness that we, for some reason, have a need and desire to touch that which is gone.

The truth is probably something that we avoid saying out loud that he is gone, a spirit traveling the universe at the speed of light or walking on golden fields where the soil is black and moist.  The skies would be blue, the air warm and embracing.  I must confess that it is more my dream because in truth you are somewhere beyond my dreams.

Did you know by your leaving our lives would change forever?  I do not think her heart ever let go of you nor has the love ever dimmed.  I must ask would life have been different if you had been here to guide us, could you have helped us avoid the pain and mistakes, we would make along the way.

I know she changed, my mom did, or maybe I never knew her like you did.  I do remember how much you loved her and her you.  I am thankful in my life to know the same kind of love and I am not as good at it as you were.  It is your standards I try to live by and like her, I will never forget my time with you.

It is often said you must let go and move on.  I have moved on, but I am sure I will never let you go.  I cannot see a dirt road or a tobacco barn without being that little boy following you down the dirt road trying hard to walk in your footprints you left behind.

I hope that you understand the roses she left behind over the years and that by leaving them behind she found some comfort and peace of mind, for that moment she can return to a better time, the time she spent with you and loving you.

She walks quietly to the car and turns for one more look perhaps to say goodbye.  How can we ever forget how you touched our lives and how truthfully you gave each of us what we needed to live our life to its fullest.