Repellent Attractions

My couple of friends got divorced after fifteen years of marriage. This surprised me for the married couple has everything they wished for and strived to get. The ex-husband met with me. He mentioned his divorce. My face showing surprise he said that life became so boring. He and his ex-wife needed more adventure in their lives.

Thinking about this I found the title of the post to be relevant. What attracted the couple reached an extreme level that it became their source of repellence and then divorce. When relations reach an extreme of happiness, sadness, or whatever emotion the relation becomes fragile and self-weakening. The husband found a woman who was willing to take an adventure and do the unusual. This was a greater source of attraction for him than the losing attractions he had with his wife. He found in the woman the fulfillment of his needs. These emerging needs wrecked his marriage life.

We all aspire to reach the top such as the top of happiness and success. However, this peak is prone to roll us down to failure associated with depressing feelings. These emerging feelings become the trigger for self-reorganizing and shaping into a new life.

The Focus Effect

Our focusing pursuing a need such as maximum happiness has its unseen risks.

A brave man may become too brave to see the risk emerging that would threaten his life.

A great example is glowworms that live in the darkness of the ocean. In the deep darkness, marine animals seeking light feel so excited to see an inviting glowing light. They become so excited by focusing on reaching the source of light. They ignore all risks originating from its source. The result is that the glowworms glowed with hope, but with hidden intentions to swallow these animals.

It is the false hope that lures us to accept very lucrative offers without observing their risks.

There are enough examples to show this trend is on the rise. A man received a lucrative offer to work in Dubai. The salary was very tempting. The man accepted the offer. He then yielded to the request to send money to process his visa and certify his documents. He did and lost his money and fake offers. He failed to see the risk on a highly lucrative offer with a promised salary well above the average.

The Internal Balance

The above discussion leads me to say that whenever we reach an extreme we are putting ourselves in the dark of assumptions. When we are extremely sad, we may tend to trust the light coming from an outside source. Somebody might be holding the torch for us to show help us out. It is vital that we check the riskiness of this source so that not to fail in its trap if the source has wicked intentions.

Far better is to have this source from within. Hasnae Addioui shared a post with a video embed. One of the narrations of the video read, “Faith is seeing light with your heart when all your eyes see is darkness”.

Be your own light. Live a balanced life. Be self-aware. Do not live a stagnant life. Keep moving. Avoid stillness.


Ali Anani
Ali Anani
My name is Ali Anani. I hold a Ph.D. from the University of East Anglia (UK, 1972) Since the early nineties I switched my interests to publish posts and presentations and e-books on different social media platforms.

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  1. Dear Ali,
    Thank you for another enlightening article. I enjoyed all of it, but the following quote stood out in particular: “Be your own light. Live a balanced life. Be self-aware. Do not live a stagnant life. Keep moving. Avoid stillness.” Chasing happiness over the rainbow never works–it’s here, now.
    Thanks again!

  2. Thank you Farooq for sharing a splendid comment. Honestly, I did not watch the movie, but now wants to. It sounds quite interesting. Maybe I consider writing a screenplay.

    Yes, what starts small can become Rippling and Crippling as I shall explain in my next post.

    I appreciate your comment and sound analysis.

    • Thank you, Ali. After reading your splendid article, my memory zoomed-in that particular movie as it depicted the same theme which is very you mentioned beautifully. Since I’ve seen it, I could relate to it almost perfectly. For this reason, only, I comments were based on that particular. When you have seen something and you read which relates to it. It feels like it a happening in front of you…Revisited, in a virtual dimension. You should see it. Thanks again.

    • When you have seen something and you read which relates to it. It feels like it a happening in front of you…

      I experienced the same many times dear Farooq and I know how it feels.

      Thank you again for sharing your story and wisdom

  3. Magnificent and intriguing post-Ali, It portrays how limits can deal with a degree of mourning lives. Our energy prompts an unfilled well to be squashed.

    It helps me to remember a popular film, “Fatal Attractions”…in which Dan Gallagher (Michael Douglas) is a cheerfully hitched attorney. At that point he meets manager Alex Forrest (Glen Close). The two start an issue while Dan’s better half (Anne Archer) and girl are away. However, when Dan attempts to end things, Alex will not give up. Her badgering veers from distress into dangerous savagery against Dan – and his family.

    It could be well known for its stunning minutes, however it says a horrendous parcel in undeniably more unobtrusive manner, depicting this wonderful topic….Cheers!