I used to live in a relatively large rustic home that sat on three acres of wooded land. The large second-floor full bathroom had a slate tile floor, a skylight window, and a jet tub equipped with brushed-nickel Roman faucets. When we purchased the home, I could picture myself taking long luxurious baths, listening to Regina Spektor, and savoring a glass of Ruffino Riserva Ducale Chianti Classico. In the five years I lived in that house, I took about a dozen baths.
I now live in a modest cape cod style home on a quarter acre. The 35 square foot bathroom is equipped with a standard tub furnished with an average, no-frills faucet. In the 14 months I’ve lived in this home, I’ve taken about 250 baths. Approximately half of those luxurious experiences were accompanied by a glass of red wine. However, they were not always Chianti because I’ve since learned to appreciate the variety life has to offer.
Last night I took a bath.
After reading Princess Baby and My Magical Dreams to my children, I gave them each a snuggle. I told them what I tell them every night they are with me, “You are wonderful.” I’ll love you no matter what. “And I’m so happy you are a part of my family,” I said goodnight. I began their meditations on Moshi. And I headed downstairs to submerge myself in my fourth bath of the week – to disappear from the world for a while.
For a while today, I had gotten sucked into the rabbit hole of reading the news. It seems that everyday things are getting more tumultuous in areas far beyond my control. I read articles from several news sources, I perused social media to read my friends’ thoughts on the matters at hand. I succumbed to feeling overwhelmed and jaw-clenchingly anxious. The world is in trouble, and I need to take action to save it.
How Do We Save The World?
We save ourselves. Instead of continuing my rush of anxiety, I promised to bring myself to a state of pure relaxation. I promised I’d heal my current head spin by giving myself an intermission. If we want to change the world, we must change ourselves.
I turned the water on hotter than most folks would find comfortable. I unwrapped a handmade Ocean Pearl scented essential oil bath bomb and tossed it in. I turned off the lights and lit a dragon fruit and chai scented candle. I found the perfect body scanning relaxation-focused, guided meditation on Insight Timer. And once I was fully submerged in the calming waters, I hit play.
And once I was able to give in, I stopped thinking about politics, unrest, responsibilities, reasoning, rationality, and resolutions.
It may have taken a little while to fully succumb to the nothingness. If a thought came into my mind, I identified it as a thought and just let it pass. If I felt a strong emotion, I identified it as an emotion and just let it pass. And once I was able to give in, I stopped thinking about politics, unrest, responsibilities, reasoning, rationality, and resolutions. I just focused on relaxing each part of my body as the meditation progressed. I unclenched my jaw. I released my shoulders. I let my spine melt into the bottom of the tub. It felt for a moment that I was no longer taking up space. When I completely let go, the color purple gradually began to appear behind my eyelids. I made a mental note of it and continued embracing the nothingness.
Purple is the color of our crown chakra – the chakra located at the top our heads. It allows us to embrace spiritual growth, understand our emotions, and connect to the world around us.
No wonder I was seeing purple. How can I grow spiritually when I’m focusing on things and events? How can I understand my emotions when I’m absorbing the emotions of those around me? And how can I connect to the world in a state of instability? I can’t. But I can work on it. And I’m glad I was able to hit the pause button and learn what I could about my inner experience.
To heal the world, I have to heal myself.
As a mother, I have to help my children learn how to process the crazy. I can’t prevent them from experiencing it, but I can prepare them to release it. I can help them learn that it doesn’t have to control them.
As much as I’d like to live in a utopia, it’ll never happen. And I accept that. I can’t change the world around me, but I can change the world within me.