When I escaped from home, I am glad that I did not have the “safety net syndrome,” where I would have avoided anything that threatened my safety and security. Aged 17, I took this bold decision to leave home. At the tender age of 14, I faced many challenges, some of which started when I was even younger, but I did not leave it to someone else to save me.
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I took the plunge and stepped into the unknown. No matter how traumatic your past was, how devastating your situation is, or how poor your upbringing is, you can move forward, beyond the struggle, beyond survival, and thrive. It is essential to know that no situation is permanent.
Make a conscious decision to change your emotions. Change your thoughts about events that affect you or have affected you, leaving you without confidence and hope. Focus on your dreams, your goals, and the desired results. If your goal seems too big, focus on what you can do today to move towards your bigger goal.
As early as age 11, I already knew what I wanted. I knew that my family’s church did not support my dreams and my goals in many ways. I wanted a better life for myself, and that is what I focused on. I did not allow the possibility of being kidnapped to take away my concentration to focus on my examinations. Let me ask you this, is your situation supporting your growth?
Your situation could be a lot worse than what I went through, but you can do something to change the direction of the tide. You can have the same courage as I did and be in control.
Have clarity in your mind. What is it you want to enable your subconscious mind to work out or to help solve? Just map out your way to achieving your goals and live the life you want. Remember that even when you want to plan a road trip, you need the destination address; otherwise, you will not plan which route to take. If you enter the wrong details in your GPS navigation device, it will tell you that “Destination not found.” The same principle applies to our goals. Vague goals will not lead us to achieve your dreams.
No flight captain gets into the plane without planning; he needs to know the distance, how much fuel he needs, and the altitude he needs to fly. He also needs to know how much turbulence he is likely to face along the route, whether his machine is designed to cope with such harsh conditions, the availability of a security marshal on the flight, and whether he has enough flight attendants. Finally, he needs to ensure he has done the final checks before setting off.
All these intricate details need to be part of his planning. His job requires that he is that meticulous. Eventually, this becomes his second nature. His goal is to get his passengers, his crew, and himself to the destination safely and on time.
Goal setting and planning are the main components. Often, we write down our goals and forget about them altogether. We do not focus on them at all. Instead, we focus on our problems and steal our valuable time; then, we fail to create the life we want.
Start right now! Make small steps. Focus on yourself, gain new skills, and discover new conversations. These changes must happen within you before you share with others. Choose to surround yourself with “can do” people who will encourage and support you.
Find your passion and make it your mission to pursue that passion to the best of your ability. You might still be experiencing some hardships, but the moment you get to decide what you love, you will notice that time flies each time you get down to working on it. In the meantime, you will be gaining Experience, Confidence, Self-esteem, Dignity, Integrity, Respect, and Self-worth, and resilience; this is what we strive for. We thrive to do something that resonates with our hearts.
Do not allow fear to paralyze you. Think about it, what is the worst that could happen? If the worst thing to happen is not death, I usually say march on towards your dream. A bit drastic, I know, but that’s the only way to overcome fear and setbacks. It does not mean I do not face challenges that slow me down, but I try my best to refocus. I also look back to that situation where I made a bold decision in a much worse challenging environment and made it.
Life will always present us with difficult situations, but our ability to navigate through them is what will make us or break us. We cannot ask for a life without problems because problems are the opposite side of solutions. It is impossible to have one without the other. What happens is we get so drowned by worry that we do not allow ourselves to find solutions or give our brain a chance to find answers. It’s often said that sometimes our blessings come wrapped up in misfortunes or sandpaper.
I have heard too many stories where someone decided to change their life because doctors told them that they had less than a year to live. For that reason, they thought well, throw caution to the wind and live, enjoying whatever time was left. That is when they lived because there was nothing else to fear. We gain strength, courage, and confidence by each experience in which we stop to look fear in the face – we must do that which we think we cannot. Faced by the ultimate frightening thing, while in that space, that person acknowledges that what matters is living in the present.
In some cases, they heal and live for many more years. By then, they would have mastered the art of living a fulfilled life. Do not wait until a tragic incident forces you to do the things you love to do or train for the job you want. Regret is living in the past and living in the future is living in fear; it causes so much anxiety in some people that they fail to use the time they have to do anything.
Create the future at this present moment – the actions you are taking right now will yield results. It is all about planning, taking action, and enjoying the process.
- Refuse to allow other people to hijack your dreams
- Choose to keep your power
- You are going to face some tough choices.
- Nothing good comes without taking a risk.
- You might need to risk losing a relationship, a friendship, favorite food, drink, or activities.
- Each time you choose, choose your happiness.
- Focus and shut out all negative and discouraging influences.
- Your decision will not be supported by everyone, even those closest to you.
- Take the bull by its horns; in time, everyone will come around, those who matter the most anyway.
- Sometimes you need to share your plans after you have already executed them when it is too late for anyone to impose their views and fears to derail them.
- The truth is that everyone is running their race.
- Do not forget to give yourself a dose of self-care
- Nourish your spiritual needs
- Revitalize, play, find something recreational to rejuvenate and energize your mind, body, and spirit.
There is so much material nowadays to support you. The internet has transformed the way we live. You can get free lessons, encouragement and meet people who can be instrumental to your successes so that you can escape from your own kidnapping zone (comfort zone in this case). Build your resilience muscle, you need it to survive through these challenging times.