Rediscovering Humanity: At Our Third Place

 We should have more coffeehouses, more cafes, more “third places.” More places where people can get together that’s not work, not home, and where they can interact with people who are different from them.

~ Eric Weiner

I recognize, I acknowledge, and I am grateful. In French, these three concepts are expressed by one term: “Je suis reconnaissant.” A term that clearly captures my sentiment when it comes to the “third place” that we call Our Friendship Bench. I witness with amazement the magic that transpires week after week. I acknowledge that the magic is borne of the wonderful collection of human beings gathered. And I am grateful to play a small part in the humanity discovered within.

The Third Place: An Anchor of Community in Turbulent Times.

In our fast-paced, fragmented modern world, we could all use an uncomplicated gathering spot to relax, make new connections, and be reminded of our common bonds as human beings. This is the role the “third place” plays in healthy community life. The term was coined by sociologist Ray Oldenburg to describe the core settings of public life outside the two usual environments of home (the first place) and work (the second place). Your third place could be the comfortable coffee shop where you’re greeted by name, the corner bar where you join friends for a pint, or the public park where you feed birds while chatting with familiar faces. These neutral gathering grounds serve as a lifeline of sociability in our increasingly impersonal and disconnected times. They are the “great good place,” as Oldenburg called them – welcoming homes away from home that help local communities preserve their identity and social ties.

With the stresses and uncertainty we all face today, having an accessible and accommodating third place is more essential than ever. It provides a calming anchor point, a hands-on reminder of community’s stabilizing presence beyond the impersonal realms of cyberspace and mass media.

In our third place, we are temporarily liberated from the roles, hierarchies, and StatusSphere performance pressures of the workplace and home life. We gather as equal human beings simply looking to make connections over lighthearted conversation and shared experiences. These equalizing places nourish human relationships and a sense of belonging at the grassroots level. They are the modern equivalent of the community well where generations gathered and bonded over mundane routines in a comfortable setting. This communion with familiar faces in a real-world setting is the antidote to social media’s superficial facsimile of connection.

In the words of Ray Oldenburg: “The nature of a third place is one in which the presence of a “regular” is always welcome, although never required. Membership is a simple, fluid process of frequent social contact, renewed each time by choice of the people involved. Eventually, social bonds develop through a type of informal intimacy. The important aspect of these relationships is that they occur outside of any commitment and exist solely in the realm of basic human respect.”

Make Our Place Your Place

Our third place is called Our Friendship Bench – where more and more people have gathered for an hour or so every Thursday for the past four years. A place where we welcome new friends and old as we connect to a shared reality while cultivating that elusive sense of belonging craved by so many –now more than ever.

We invite you to make OUR place YOUR third place. Grab your seat on our virtual Bench any Thursday or every Thursday. No costs. No rigid agendas. No sales pitches. No judgment. No kidding – just a bunch of good human beings rediscovering humanity at its best.

Meanwhile, take a moment to stroll throughthe special keepsake above (recommend that  you download) –created to capture the “magic” of our Bench.