“Real, but Not True …”

Inspired by a Friday morning thought posted on Twitter… (@tntesq)

If our mind is creating our reality yet we are not our thoughts, and we are aware that our beliefs shape our behaviours which then solidify our coping mechanisms…

Why is it that we forget a basic maxim of Buddhist teaching which reminds us to always be mindful of the trap of; “real, but not true.”

Is it simply the repetition that calcifies the premise or perhaps our innate unconscious negative bias, which allows the constricting falsehoods we cling to, that perpetuate our suffering, to thereby create a self-fulfilling prophecy that ultimately manifests our day-to-day experiences? And so on and so on each cycle imprinting the message ever deeper on our psyche, defining our behaviours and impacting our relationships.

The irony being that these long-held beliefs originated in a traumatic experience that has been transmuted over time and has become the foundation upon which the personality construct we hide behind, in order to fulfil a deep need to belong, is allowed to grow, take root, and bear fruit.

This is then consolidated by the fear that should we waiver from this portrayal, we risk further separation or ostracisation and connects to a primeval thought hardwired into the oldest parts of our brains that should this pattern unfold, it would no doubt lead to our eventual demise.

If you can become aware that you have allowed your thoughts to construct the illusions and assumptions which have imprisoned you for so long, then also know that you can just as easily deconstruct them and rebuild something liberating, based on a coherence of mind, body, and soul rather than the typical model which most of us operate in, which tends to cut off at the mind.




Ask yourself this simple question; but is this true?



And ask again for clarity; where is the truth to substantiate this belief?

If words are hard to come by shift gears and simply become aware of; what feeling arises in you?

Next, feel a little deeper; where is it strongest, can you name it and then describe it?

Allow it to get as big as it needs to, so that you might fully recognise its hold over you and see that by simply becoming aware of it, by separating yourself from your association of self with this belief and becoming the witness, it is thusly diluted.

For it has both released the unconscious attachment and finally allowed you to see beyond that perceived behemoth fear it represents for you. This unburdening frees you to visualise what your life might look like, the positive possibilities rather than the negative limitations, if you no longer had to carry this belief.

As I like to say switching from defining to refining.

Then you can finally let it go and allow it to move through you, acknowledging its inception was always external, never internal and even getting to a place of being grateful for the learning and excited having created space through this process, to welcome whatever new will be manifested in you.

The more time we can sit and get curious with a self-compassionate touch, the less tightly these assumptions bind us to replaying the familiar cycle of shame, guilt, pain, suffering, sadness, fear, depression, separation (repeat).

The somatic experience, bodily wisdom, and our intuitive voice is an exquisite teacher yet one we have all seemingly forgotten. Yet it is through reconnecting with this innate mastery that we can find our way back home to our true self.

This is the place where external influence and pressure loses its power over us, where we can appreciate our oneness with every other being on the planet, where acceptance, compassion, and liberation abound, and where loving awareness gives birth to abundance.

Love and blessings my friends,



Rhys Thomas
Rhys Thomas
I work with individuals who have suffered a traumatic experience in their lifetime, who no longer wish to have it impact their mental health, their relationships with others and dictate how they show up in this world. When you show up as your #truself you’re empowered by that inner voice, you let go of attachment and judgement, are free to move beyond fear and expectation, to truly manifest your dreams into reality. There remains a taboo around the word trauma and many people when asked might assume the defensive and say, “not me”, for fear of how this may be perceived by others, but every single one of us has faced adversity at some time which has either built us up or broken us down. Personality traits, behaviour patterns, belief structures all stem from our past experiences but coping mechanisms forged in the fire only ever weigh us down, lead to more pain and deny our #truself from returning. The truth is it’s not the incident itself which is the real trauma it is the response to it and the resulting impact you allow it to have on your life and those around you, from that point forward, which does the real harm. Choosing curiosity over fear, self-compassion over self-judgement and acceptance over denial are the first steps we use to break down the protective walls which were once built up for protection, but which ultimately keep us stuck living out familiar storylines and conforming to a pale imitation of our #truself. Having studied many different modalities and practices during my own journey including kundalini yoga, breathwork, meditation, indigenous ancient wisdoms, emotional intelligence, mindfulness and loving awareness, Buddhist psychology, Vedic scripture and astrology, Zen practices and Taoist philosophy, I am uniquely blessed to help guide you along this path of your awakening and reconnecting you with your #truself. Founder of #truself Coaching; 1:1 and Mastermind Groups; Workshop/Retreats Designer, Facilitator, Trainer, Guide; Bespoke Corporate Wellbeing Programmes; Online Community Builder; Writer and Content creator – Holistic Wellbeing, Mental Health, Mindfulness; #TNT 2.0 Podcast Host – Exploding the Status Quo on Leadership (100+ episodes) Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Anchor. Previous: 18+ years in Corporate Sales and Executive Search in UK and APAC regions.

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