We should split the sack of this culture and stick our heads out.
How freeing to lift the heavy, red-faced blanket of shame of past experiences, of current challenges to realize every person walking on the planet right now lives through a mixture of challenges and joys. The both/and remains everywhere! No longer alone in this view that most people are constantly, in every single moment Happy, Happy, Happy or Cranky, cranky, cranky or Sad, Sad, Sad or Perfect, Perfect, Perfect! There remains a rich continuum of emotional states and a cornucopia of imperfect beings making all kinds of mistakes and blunders. Flowing through the blended mixture of emotions gets easier when you don’t become the feelings, but rather flow them through the heart. Accepting the gifts of imperfections, the consequences of failed ideas gets easier when you take full responsibility for the blunders and the results, then course-correct, turn to others for support, listen to those who have gained wisdom. The best apology is changed behavior which reveals humility and the ability to learn from mistakes and failures.
Attachment and deflection keep life experiences from flowing through. Stuff gets stuck, clogged, and cluttered or pushed, shoved, or scared away. Keeping the Heart Open Wide allows what’s supposed to come, come and what’s supposed to go, GO. From the seat of the soul you can watch all these come and go like a dog lovingly observes a person cooking a meal, consuming the meal, cleaning up after the meal ends.
Poisonous righteousness postpones joy. This toxic way of living causes the sphincter to tighten, toes to curl, lips to purse, eyes to harden, fists to clench, fingers to leave nail marks in the skin, and cortisol to course through the body which fatigues the adrenal glands which can lead to premature death.
The rage/shame cycle can emerge when the body has been traumatized but the person remains aware of this dysfunctional, unregulated way of living life. These waves become unsustainable for those who desire a fulfilled and more peaceful life. Resolving the underlying trauma becomes evident and important work. Breaking through is possible and often requires some professional support. Many people walk around with unresolved trauma energy in their bodies, hearts, minds, and souls.
You live in a culture of Personality, Celebrity, and Branding that got created decades ago. Why would you ever want to become a pretense when all your life you’ve been dismantling the “pretend person” you pretzeled yourself into to “fit in” when you were never ever really going to “belong”? Why would you want to be an imposter that then had a sort of “disease” called a syndrome? You don’t need to live a Best Life or the Greatest Life Ever or some other Magnificence according to other people’s agendas, expectations, or demands. You actually pretty much stink at doing that. And it’s exhausting. You don’t want to be part of some dog and pony show, money hoarding, material accumulating, clutter clutching circus. Inner peace remains a relief, a sacred haven. Create and live a life that allows you to belong to you. Be of love and service to others. Harmony, balance, and dynamic equanimity remain invaluable.
Everybody can be great, because everybody can serve.
You don’t have to have a college degree to serve.
You don’t have to make your subject and your verb agree to serve….
You only need a heart full of grace, a soul generated by love.
—Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
A culture of personality cannot be sustained as it’s broken at the point of the soul. So divided by the imposter syndrome, anxiety, addiction, mental, emotional illness, loneliness, suicide, fear of not being enough, poisonous righteousness, the victim mindset, and hoarding, you hope many people finally begin to break free and realize that life is about cultivating core values of courage, honesty, humility, integrity, freedom, compassion, kindness, wholehearted empowerment. Living an ordinary life in love and service becomes exceptional, the exception rather than the norm. May you continue to be a misfit in a culture that cannot sustain itself.
What have you been realizing lately? I welcome your perspectives and reflections!