I let myself get so stressed these last few days that I have felt it in my body. That’s the worse part of having Fibromyalgia. Stress causes more pain. Plus, because I have stress-induced seizures, this is not a good thing at all. I have to find a way to channel my unrest and pivot around my frustrations. I’m extremely exhausted at the moment but to be honest, I’ve been worse. So I know I’m not at my stress limit. I think at least I may be able to stop the downtrodden feeling of emotions that will erupt once I am at my maximum.
Like all of us, being in the middle of extremely uncomfortable, unhealthy situations understandably causes stress. But what you do when there’s really nothing in sight that can change what’s stressing you, is the key. What direction will you follow when these quiet storms turn into raging storms where the sky has fallen, the trees are swaying, the rain is heavy and the clouds are low? That may be an over- exaggeration, but you get my point.
I’m an introverted, unsocial, disconnected, ghetto bougie (yes it’s a thing), not quite middle-aged mother and grandma. I grew up isolated, unable to socialize with my peers.
That impacted my life to the point where I don’t trust easily. If I let a person in, they have become special to me. I have a very small circle consisting of my family, boyfriend, and a few friends for which I would lay down my life. I only talk to a handful of them about what I go through. I’m completely transparent with maybe three of those people.
My frustrations overwhelm me because when I know my “persons” are going through their own storms, I will not put my problems on them. Nor will I chose to open up to anyone else. I’m whatever personality type that lets things build up until I explode and everything comes out in tears and expletives. Because I’m in pain all day every day, you’d think I would be on edge and go off on people all the time. But I know my faith has a lot to do with my ability to be kind and considerate of others despite my own situation.
So what can I do to change how I respond to stress without sacrificing my sanity? I have to reach back and grab those coping mechanisms I learned over 15 years ago in therapy. Deep breathing, taking my mind to a happy place like the beach with my kids and utilizing the most effective one I have found, walking away and taking a few moments to myself. Walking outside, into another room, or locking myself in the bathroom is a necessary means to replenishing the calm in my mind and body.
These coping mechanisms may not work for everyone, but they have brought some peace back into my life many times. I was so ashamed of needing therapy back then, but now I’ve never been more grateful for it. The doctors who sat down with me and taught me these tools which I still use today saved my life.
Today’s lesson for my readers is don’t ever be ashamed of needing help. Never think there’s something wrong with you just because you need therapy, counseling, or medication. You will learn things that you can use throughout your lifetime. I forget that I know how to cope sometimes. It’s easy to get so caught up in the winds and rain, that you forget where your shelter lies. It’s ok.
Take a step back, reevaluate, pray, and find someone to confide in even if it’s a stranger on the other end from a Therapy hotline. The key is to pivot through your pain instead of around it. Pivoting around issues leave them right where they are in your life. Working through them finds solutions. Never feel like your problems mark the end for you. They are temporary. Be positive, be brave, be encouraged.