I published recently a post focused on the “Heaviness of Criticism and Feedback” which invited for great comments. The comment of Dennis Pitocco is a great summary of the post. Dennis write, ‘Thoughtful, constructive feedback that offers alternatives and suggestions is indeed crucial for growth without crushing spirits. Lightening feedback often involves balancing critique with encouragement and focusing on specific, actionable improvements.’
The following discussions revealed that self-awareness and feedback are interlinked. Inspired by a comment from Visweswaran Balasubramanian prompted me to suggest that Johari Window offers the litmus test for our reading to welcome critical feedback.
Johari window is a 2X2 matrix. It has four quadrants as explained in the image below.
What is known to self, known to others is open area, ideal place.
What is known to self, unknown to others is hidden area, self expression will help.
What is unknown to self, known to others is blind spot, seeking feedback will help.
What is unknown to self, unknown to others, is totally unknown, can be explored only through shared discovery which is a combination of self introspection, self expression, feedback, probing etc.
Low feedback permeability to fill the voids of what we do not know and the readiness of the receiver to accept feedback and enhance his self-awareness along with the process of offering feedback.
The unknown area is big for a person with low self-esteem. People with low self-esteem have low permeability to feedback.
It is the same with the blind area. If a person shows resistance to critical feedback he shall most likely be impermeable to suggestions from others. His self-awareness shall remain low.
Process of Feedback
Another important factor for accepting feedback is the process we follow in giving feedback. This is a hugely important point and deserves further exploration.
One suggestion on how to conduct feasible feedback was offered by Zen Benefiel in a comment. Zen write, ‘an old friend and dearly departed explained a great process he called ‘Gifty Gias.’ At first it was super challenging, because the habit is to defend oneself.
Gather a group of cohorts, friends, workmates et al in a circle. Place yourself in the center of the circle, preferably in a chair, though standing can have interesting insights as well.
The group is instructed, in turn, to offer their worst, best and how you can improve – in their opinion. The delivery method and protocol is to speak in love, however challenging that might be. Of course, sometimes things still come our a bit rough. The intention, however, reduces the listening errors.
Now, here’s the real challenge: All you can say is, ‘Thank you,’ or ‘Please tell me more.’ Anytime self-defense talk enters, the ‘monitor’ stops the activity, briefly, reiterates the rules, and then the process continues.
Milka Zadok Adiga then picked the thread and shared her family experience in providing feedback.
‘On the family level both my grandfather and my father will removed the Crown and will seat on the carpet we will come around and tell them what we feel no matter how harsh the criticism is they will not say a word but to listen. After the meeting things will begin to change for or against’
Unless we give feedback openly and using the right process we may increase the impermeability to accept feedback.
Self-Awareness and Johari Window
Humans suffer from self-biases and tendency to blame others for their faults. Unless critical feed back is welcome by humans they shall fall in the trap of self-bias.
Self-bias is the enemy of self-awareness.
Johari Window offers a great opportunity to know in which quadrant one falls and then be willing to accept feedback.
What is the level of self-awareness if one falls in the blind area?
Same applies to those people who fall in the hidden area?
Self-awareness shall decrease the bigger those areas are,
It is only in being open to honest feedback within a friendly process that we may grow. This way we defeat self-biases and enhancing our self-awareness.
This path You followed is perfect to enlighten the reader on such an important topic as feedback, which has characterized my professional life for many years and has not always been an easy “job”, considering the intolerance towards this process by many. Expressing feedback is not always easy and, instead of being seen as a resource, feedback could create friction and bad feelings.
I agree tha we must start from a certainty: the world of our relationships is better when aware people are part of it. And people become aware when they are nourished by appreciation and recognition, just as they develop when they are helped to recognize their talents and their areas of improvement. The more we learn to relate in a functional way, the more we improve the quality of our life.
I therefore absolutely agree that learning to give and receive feedback means having a positive impact on the social environment so that open dynamics develop and a good climate is created.
Working on ourselves to train ourselves to give and receive functional feedback means being an active part of a continuous improvement process, which has effects not only in the short term but above all in the long term
And developing a culture of feedback in the company inevitably means working on the team and its effectiveness.
Thank you Aldo for your informative and useful feedback.
I covered three topics in this post
1- Feedback as a useful tool for enhancing our self awareness.
2- The use of Johari Window as a feedback tool to enhance our self-awareness, and
3- Role of giver and receiver of feedback
You explained so well the need for feedback as a development process for individuals.
You experienced the difficulty in giving feeback as not all recipients welcome ut, ‘my professional life for many years and has not always been an easy “job”, considering the intolerance towards this process by many”.
Very wisely you explained the role of feedback, ‘my professional life for many years and has not always been an easy “job”, considering the intolerance towards this process by many”.
One great thought you added is the role of individuals to enhance their development through self-feedback. ‘Working on ourselves to train ourselves to give and receive functional feedback means being an active part of a continuous improvement process’
A great comment indeed yours is my friend.
Thank you for your support and sharing your wide experience. Your inspiration is great.
Thank you and it is the Aldo Comment Effect
I can’t thank you enough!