Past, Present, and Future

New Years Past

Recently, I watched a series called “The Ghost of Christmas”, familiar to many of you I’m sure.  Sitting through part 1, where the personality of Scrooge himself, is brought to life in full.  No one could really be that harsh, could they?  Yet, as Christmas Past took on the story, I thought of New Years’ past.  I thought of all the New Year’s, where I volunteered to work the graveyard shift so that the guys married could spend time with their families. Working the nights with other officers patrolling the streets and dealing with crazy dangerous calls.  I wasn’t interested in going to any celebrations and having a daughter to care for without help at the time, I needed the overtime.  Every year it’s been a revolving door for those that drink and drive, thinking they could handle their few drinks and then get in their car and drive, even if it is only a short distance.  Some never made it home. Yet, more often than not, the end result was usually a free ride to a hotel with bars.  I had to leave my daughter more than I wanted to in order to give her the life I never had. When I think of the many nights, I took an extra shift to make her life better, but not be with her more, haunts me.

Then I thought of the New Year “Present”.  Today, fast forward, I’m retired. I’m 69, recently married, and enjoying the quietness of the evenings.  My daughter has nothing to do with me and has removed my grandchildren from my life. I miss her and my son so very much and have tried everything to reconcile, but I have had to accept that they are of their own minds and heart.  I raised them with all that I could give them, and beyond, not spoiling, but making sure they were safe, educated, faith-filled and healthy.  How was their Christmas? Do they ever think of me, are they healthy?  Will I ever get to see my grandchildren again?

Future New Year’s comes into play.  I don’t know what the future holds day-to-day. No one does.  Will there be a call telling me that something has happened?  Will my husband and I live another year?  Whatever God has planned, we are ready.  That is the one sure thing for us.  We love each other. I don’t hold anything against anyone, because I want to love those around me, help those who need help if I can, hold onto the good memories I have of my children and grandchildren, and there are a lot of great memories.  I smile when I think of the laughter and the tears and the challenges that ended in a fantastic way for them.  What does the future hold for them and my grandchildren?  I cannot see into the future, but I can trust in what I believe in my faith.  I trust that God will somehow make things good for all, that everything that will come to reconciliation, and if not, God knows my heart and knows how much I love those I carry in my heart each and every day.

May the New Year of 2020 bring Happiness, Joy, and Love from the Father above who sent His only son for the salvation of mankind.  Past, Present and Future.


Lynn Forrester-Pitocco
Lynn Forrester-Pitocco
LYNN is Retired from Law Enforcement as a Police Officer, with a background in nursing and previously a member of the Search and Rescue Team with the Los Angeles Sheriff’s Department, A retired member of the Orange Police Department, she became the first female SWAT member on an elite team while becoming a member of the Olympic Shooting Team during the early years on the department. A mother and a grandmother, a devout Catholic who currently resides in Houston, Texas. Her hobbies include writing, painting, and a contemplative prayer life. She is in love with her faith, but the love she carries for her two grown children and grandchildren who rest in her heart surpasses everything except her faith in God. Since retirement, Lynn has done private investigation, worked as a gang counselor with middle schools, A member of Bl. Mother Teresa’s Order called the (Lay Missionaries of Charity), she is also a pro-life advocate, often called upon to give testimony and speak to youth groups, as well as adult forums. She has published a children’s book entitled “The Children’s Garden” and is currently working on two additional children’s books. She is currently working on the major one focused on her experience in Law Enforcement entitled “Heels and a Badge”. (copyright). Her paintings and sketches, writings, can be viewed on her Pinterest boards (click on the Pinterest ICON below). Her dream is to one-day write a movie for Hallmark. Dreams do come true … See Lynn’s entire collection of thought-provoking Articles by clicking on her byline. Lynn is a contributing author to the inspiring book Chaos to Clarity: Sacred Stories of Transformational Change.

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  1. Hope is a primary human need: to hope for the future, to believe in life. Hope opens up new horizons, enables us to dream of what is not even imaginable. But it is important that this hope be placed in what truly can help us live and give meaning to our existence. In faith, Abraham turns to God to help him continue to hope.
    Happy New Year!

    • Aldo, thank you for taking a moment to read this, and yes, hope is always a front runner and has been in my life.

  2. Lynn, you are most courageous for being so open about your loss. Parental alienation is most unfair and an example of the unevenness of life. Although I have not experienced it as a parent, which is the most unbearable, I have in another area of my life. Here is a warm virtual hug to you, and as you know, I am a strong believer in God. I cannot imagine being who I am without my faith. Thank you for this honest, thoughtful article. Happy New Year!💖

    • Great to hear from you Darlene and thank you. I could have never made it through many things if it had not been for HIM who gives us everything. He is my strength and I instilled that into my children which somehow has been mixed into today’s world. We are sisters in Christ, and I write what is put on my heart when the heart is moved by the Holy Spirit, as I know it will help someone else. Have a blessed New Year and thank you. I hope to be notified or somehow not miss your posts going forward.

  3. Thanks for sharing your heart Lynn, as always. Absence from loved ones who are still with us has to be one of the hardest burdens to carry. I was reminded just this morning of Jesus example to us – how He ministerred with a heart of compassion to strangers in need while at the same time dealing with His own trials and tragedies (ie., the death of John the Baptist, etc). I often forget the very human side of our Savior. As you said, He knows your heart – in a very real sense He knows it.
    So often the pain we carry is what enables us to empathize with those who are burdenned with similar struggles. We may never know the reason for some ‘thorns’ this side of heaven.
    I know the Lord has taken some pretty stupid/hurtful things I’ve done (not ordained by Him) and some things others have done that have hurt me (also not ordained by God) and somehow uses them all to work for my good. Much like a spiritual GPS, he gets me back on track when I’ve taken the wrong way and, amazingly, still uses it for my benefit! All we can do is take hold of His promises, know that He loves us and has our best interest at heart.
    As much as I love my wife and children and grandchildren….His capacity to love me….to love you is infinitely greater.
    In the meantime, I continue to pray for healing and reunification for you and your loved ones. God bless you.

    • I am blessed regardless because of HIM, and I know that my prayers for my children and grandchildren will not go unheard. Thank you Mike