New Years Past
Recently, I watched a series called “The Ghost of Christmas”, familiar to many of you I’m sure. Sitting through part 1, where the personality of Scrooge himself, is brought to life in full. No one could really be that harsh, could they? Yet, as Christmas Past took on the story, I thought of New Years’ past. I thought of all the New Year’s, where I volunteered to work the graveyard shift so that the guys married could spend time with their families. Working the nights with other officers patrolling the streets and dealing with crazy dangerous calls. I wasn’t interested in going to any celebrations and having a daughter to care for without help at the time, I needed the overtime. Every year it’s been a revolving door for those that drink and drive, thinking they could handle their few drinks and then get in their car and drive, even if it is only a short distance. Some never made it home. Yet, more often than not, the end result was usually a free ride to a hotel with bars. I had to leave my daughter more than I wanted to in order to give her the life I never had. When I think of the many nights, I took an extra shift to make her life better, but not be with her more, haunts me.
Then I thought of the New Year “Present”. Today, fast forward, I’m retired. I’m 69, recently married, and enjoying the quietness of the evenings. My daughter has nothing to do with me and has removed my grandchildren from my life. I miss her and my son so very much and have tried everything to reconcile, but I have had to accept that they are of their own minds and heart. I raised them with all that I could give them, and beyond, not spoiling, but making sure they were safe, educated, faith-filled and healthy. How was their Christmas? Do they ever think of me, are they healthy? Will I ever get to see my grandchildren again?
Future New Year’s comes into play. I don’t know what the future holds day-to-day. No one does. Will there be a call telling me that something has happened? Will my husband and I live another year? Whatever God has planned, we are ready. That is the one sure thing for us. We love each other. I don’t hold anything against anyone, because I want to love those around me, help those who need help if I can, hold onto the good memories I have of my children and grandchildren, and there are a lot of great memories. I smile when I think of the laughter and the tears and the challenges that ended in a fantastic way for them. What does the future hold for them and my grandchildren? I cannot see into the future, but I can trust in what I believe in my faith. I trust that God will somehow make things good for all, that everything that will come to reconciliation, and if not, God knows my heart and knows how much I love those I carry in my heart each and every day.
May the New Year of 2020 bring Happiness, Joy, and Love from the Father above who sent His only son for the salvation of mankind. Past, Present and Future.