Pages of Time

I’ve been thinking about writing more frequently. The simple reason is, that I have so much on my mind these days. Things bother me and yet, I can’t quite put the pieces together. I’m constantly going back in my mind, leafing through the ancient documents of the time, looking for those that got lost along the way. Now, more than ever, I have the desire to find those long-abandoned pages blowing like tumbleweeds in my subconscious.

Perhaps it is a result of my childhood. Things that got locked away and were buried long ago under a heavy rug that is walked upon, but there never is enough movement to displace the dust that has collected over the years.

Searching for the clues to unlock the doors that have been closed for so long, once again opened to experience life as before.

Now, just torn pages blowing in a universal black swirl of emotions that paint pictures of thunder clouds hanging over my head.

At times, I feel we can only help ourselves; that no one can give our lives direction or understanding.

We must find our own understanding of feelings, words, and thoughts. Once again reading my mind, I find it hard to imagine thinking so deeply while looking into a bottomless well. It’s as if something outside of me is reading my inner thoughts, while at the same time wandering into the channels of my mind. For whose purpose am I writing on this blank paper in a futile effort to understand the inner workings of my subconscious state?

Either what we think is real, or what we believe is real. What we believe is our own truth, and while others must find their own way to their truth, what lies within their pages of them?

Traveling through my subconscious, looking for a log to grab hold of, being violently tossed about in a rushing torrent, heading for a waterfall of pages called my life, grabbing onto the first sturdy log I see to prevent myself from falling even further into my subconscious mind… Cascading down the rushing wall of water, to journey along yet another rivulet within my dormant psyche, always searching for those lost pages of time.


Eva Marie Cagley
Eva Marie Cagley
Eva Marie Ann Cagley was born in 1958 to Frank and Priscilla Cagley. Having been raised in Waterloo Iowa, U.S. She spent most of my time working with teenagers as a counselor. Working with teenagers gave her great joy, having had none of her own… She came from a large family having nine children. She has always had a passion for writing and believes it is a gift from God… There's little else to say about her as her writing reflects whom she is. Her beliefs, perspectives, trials, tribulations hope and despair, dreams of all her lives’ journeys…She currently has five poetry books published and a Miracle story. Her poetry and essays can be found on various ezines and blogs. Her poetry books can be found on Amazon and Lulu. Book titles: “In the Garden of My Mind,” “Dancing in Heaven,” “The Airwaves of My Soul,” “Where Poets Dream,” I Shall Always Think of You,” “God's Miracle Story.” Her personal web page is She is included in the book “To Be or Not to Be A Writer” by, Sweetycat press publications. Available on Amazon. Who's Who of Emerging Writers 2021 published by Sweetycat press. Also available on Amazon. The Beacon Ezine, (Poetry). Spillwords (Poetry) Honor of Socialite of the year 2021. The Academy of the Heart and Mind, (Poetry and essay). Wink Writers in The Know Magazine & Blog (Essay and poetry). Journey of the Heart, (Poetry). Wildfire Publications LLC, Inc. (Poetry and article). Grey Thoughts, (Essays, Poetry). The New Zealand Blog (Articles and poetry). She has also been included in numerous anthologies. You can find the links to all her published works on She currently writes articles for Wildfire Publications LLC Magazine and every two weeks for the New Zealand Dream Blog. She has always had a desire to write and takes her work seriously. She has just recently become aggressive by submitting her work. She is pleased with her success!

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  1. Eva Marie
    I think we can only help ourselves, too. I hope you continue to find yourself through your poetry and other writing. Often we can see something of ourselves reflected in nature or another’s eyes, but when the words flowon the page they crystalize. And there is some part of us there on a page talking back.
    Peace and inspiration

  2. A msot heart-touching post my friend Eva,

    Just reading this from your post is enough to feed my mind today “Now, just torn pages blowing in a universal black swirl of emotions that paint pictures of thunder clouds hanging over my head.”

    “At times, I feel we can only help ourselves; that no one can give our lives direction or understanding”

    .It is not enough to have experience, more is to share it with the world and what a poetic way your sharing is. Love your writing all the way