I am neither ashamed nor proud of my actions, they are simply part of my story.
–anonymous
I heard that on a mental health training course, the other week. One of the most powerful quotes, I have ever heard. It resonated deep inside my soul.
It resonated because I had been judging myself – on my ‘not so finer moments’, the ones where I fear the world would judge me harshly if I told the truth.
But it actually doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, it is not their acceptance I crave – it’s mine. The rest of the world does not live in my head, walk by my side every day and choose my decisions – I do. I just didn’t realise that, until a kind, honest and brave man, stood up in front of a room full of strangers, to tell his story and in the process, gave me this priceless less gift.
It is not the judgement of others that scares you, but the judgement of yourself – the judgement you think you will get from others.
Life is a nuance, people will surprise you – often for the better, truth is more powerful than shame and fear and if you accept yourself, you won’t need it from others.
It’s ok to be you – all of you.
Love this Nik, learn to be still and listen, and you will be surprised
The judgment of others can sometimes weigh like a boulder. Of course, people are always willing to give us their opinion (even if it is often not required) and to give us advice on how to behave. But to what extent can others know what is best for us?
When we choose a road, the one we think is right for us, the opinions of others count for little, if not absolutely nothing. To be oneself it is important to believe in one’s choices and never leave the road taken only to not disappoint the people around us. We must be sure of ourselves, of our abilities and of our talent and abandon all the insecurities that others transmit to us. What matters is being proud of what we are and of the path we are taking (it is the path we have chosen). Only this allows us to live well without having the burden of what others will think of us.
Thank you for a lovely message, Nik.
In my mind, you message also equates to self-respect and this is also vitally important.
Please allow me to share a couple of quotes which have influenced me:
“Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners”. Laurence Sterne
“We are all equal in the fact that we are all different. We are all the same in the fact that we will never be the same. We are united by the reality that all colors and all cultures are distinct and individual. We are harmonious in the reality that we are all held to this earth by the same gravity. We don’t share blood, but we share the air that keeps us alive.” C. JoyBell C.
A very powerful message Nik. Very Strong Ink Indeed!
I don’t know how or why, Nik. But the one thing about which I’ve always been absolutely certain is that I’m a writer. It took me a while to get beyond the fear of the judgment of others. Once I did, the writer became the storyteller. And that storyteller, like you, encourages others to tell their stories. The greatest gift we can give each other is faith in ourselves.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Very insightful Nik, and I think we all beat ourselves up far too much instead of giving ourselves credit. We expect too much from ourselves and when we fall short of our standards or goals, we tend to blame ourselves. This is not healthy. Somehow, when we are young, when we are learning the tools to survive in the world, we are never taught how to properly love and value ourselves. This needs to change…