Out Of The Mouths Of Babes

I digress. My oldest, my daughter, is almost 19. 19 years of honestly, a pretty amazing kid. Recently, I was thinking back on some of her exceptionally stellar moments and laughed so hard I almost peed my pants.

Most of us moms can relate to our usual title, “Overworked Tired Working Mom Dreads Figuring Out What to Make for Dinner.” You can relate, right? I mean, how many different things can we think of to cook for children who could maintain their limited nutrition on fish sticks and fries?

My daughter at the age of 2 could recite her address and phone number. Just let me have one little brag moment here. So I cannot recall if this event took place at 2, 3 or the year in between.

After picking both kids up from daycare, the youngest an infant (I had MASTERED by this time the one-kid-per-hip situation), I got them settled and was about to throw some dinner in a pot on the stove. Their dad worked nights at the time, so really it was just me and my daughter eating dinner and my son, a bottle of formula.

I had purchased one of those chicken and rice “throw in a pot” dinners. Yeah, I took shortcuts. What can I say? Another stripe on my “Mother of the Year” sash. In a nutshell, I forgot to put water in the pot (I blame the overworked mom bit here), so I was in the midst of a “dinner rescue” moment. I thought I had remedied the situation enough to have something palatable for my daughter to eat. I put it in front of her and she says, “I don’t like it.” To which I respond with, “There are children in other countries who do not have any food.” Oh My God, I have turned into my mother!

So my daughter asks, “Why don’t they have food Mommy?”

I say, “Because they don’t have money for food.” She volleys back, “Do we have money?” and I say, “Yes, some. That is why you have food in front of you.”

And my 2-3-year-old daughter with a gleam in her eye states emphatically, “Well, I would rather have the money so I can go to McDonald’s and get a cheeseburger.” Yes, she is my child through and through. I remember thinking at the time that this must be payback for me being a little sh$% at some point in my childhood.

If I had the forethought to capture that bit on videotape, I surely would have won the million dollar prize on Funniest Home Videos. At least then, she would have had all of the McDonald’s cheeseburgers she could eat and I could have hired a personal chef on a go forward. Thinking back, I probably should have cooked fish sticks and fries and called it a day. Definitely not one of the many nights where I channeled Betty Crocker.

Moral of the story? Well, it’s twofold. One, don’t forget to put the water in a stew that calls for 2 cups of water and two, sometimes you just can’t outwit a toddler.