I once had a life that was filled with action.
Working in Times Square, there was always something “happening.”
Someone would be having a mental illness. There would be a suspicious package. Naked women with pasties on their tits. Guys selling weed. Lots of Elmo suits. Gas leaks. Jackhammers. Break dancing. Painters. People exercising on the scaffolding. “Gang Initiation.” (In the 2000- early 2010’s it happened every Easter Sunday- here’s a NY Times article about it)
You could say that I was always overstimulated, but I was completely stagnant.
After my shift each night in over-stimulation, I went and drank. Multiple shots and beers. 4:30 a.m. I’d roll into the street, smoke way too many cigarettes, and topple myself into a cab.
My friend Jim used to say “we’re Beats,” and how right was he?
Through all of that, my drunken nights, and the times I shared with people during this hyperactive, hyper-stimulated period of my existence, nothing was happening.
I mean sure, that’s an exaggeration. We can’t have complete inaction, despite my best attempts at it. But in terms of my deepening my relationship with myself, and getting closer to who I wanted to be? Very little of that happened while I was drunk at the bar.
Most of the time when I was drinking at the bar, it was with many people who were essentially “warm bodies.” I had a few friends and a zillion acquaintances. I wasn’t really interested in the conversation. It was mostly about 1. other people (who cares?) 2. our job (replaying the what happened) or 3. things that didn’t interest me (like movies) After about two hours, those conversations became more like dribble (as all drunken convos do) where we would just take turns “speaking at” one another.
For all the times I spent bonding with people, I never really was. I remember getting a lot off my chest, because when you’re drunk, you’re just blithering ego. I don’t remember too much of what anyone else said, and my guess is, they don’t remember too much of what I said. Nothing profound came out of those times.
When you’re out drinking, nothing enjoyable is happening that requires the drink. And if something enjoyable is happening, the thing that you’re enjoying is not the booze. The thing you’re enjoying is being dulled by the booze, because your entire human experience is being dulled by the booze.
For example: Drinking at the beach- what are you enjoying? The beach.
What is happening when you drink at the beach? You become a dehydrated clam baking in the sun. You grossly have to piss in the polluted ocean once an hour. You dry out passed out on a towel. You end up eating something later like a ravenous rat and don’t taste the food you order. You wake up the next day with a headache and a sunburn, and you don’t remember how you got home.
What takes away from enjoying the tranquility of the beach? The 6 nutcrackers you bought from some guy who made them in his dirty kitchen.
Annie Grace says that 80% of people who drink wish they drank less.
Andee Scarantino says from her experience, that’s true.
People come to me all the time and tell me “I just want to be done,” and then somehow, the excuses start coming in.
People want to “defend” their decisions because the word sobriety holds the same weight in our society as the word God.
Both of the words provoke STRONG reactions that make people DEFEND THEIR POSITION.
“Ohhh I’m not drinking but I don’t have a problem.”
Literally, nobody asked you that. As MartinJon says, “sobriety is a beverage choice.”
When you drink heavily all the time, you f__k yourself out of being able to enjoy your own life to the capacity you want to enjoy it.
We’re not in third grade. We don’t need other people to understand or dictate what we drink at lunchtime. We don’t need to tell Chad over there why we don’t like milk. We just don’t drink it.
My experience is, when you’re wishy-washy and afraid to say you’re not drinking, people may try to coax you into having one. This is because they believe that your experience won’t be as enjoyable without alcohol.
But when you’re firm, people respect it. Honestly, they’re a little bit jealous. None of us truly likes to drink. We were sold a bill of goods.
We really only like our life experiences, and everyone wishes they could enjoy those in a more uninhibited state of clarity.
Today’s podcast is all about this. If you’re sober curious, it’s here for you. The typical bag of hot air to start your week. 🤣
I hope you all had a great weekend.
Stay Beautiful
Andee
