Ocean Beyond the Glass Window

I walked to the glass window

There I can see beyond the glass window where under the blue sky the ocean stretches far enough where my eyes can’t reach

White fluffy clouds moving through the sky. Birds flying towards the ocean.

I placed my one palm on the glass window the other on my heart

I closed my eyes

I love you sea, but I hate you to see with my eyes

A teardrop escaped from between my eyelashes

Because I had one inside my heart

The waves are roaring wildly and pushing even harder

It aches me.

More teardrops escaped from my eyes

My lips trembling so I bite them

I pressed my palm tightly on my heart

One teardrop traveled down my cheek down to my neck and finally absorbed into my dress

I swallowed hard

I can feel wetness around my neck where my teardrops ended their journey

I tried to open my eyes

But my tears blinded my sight

I closed them again.

I know one day the roaring waves will break my heart into a million pieces.

I know I can only win if only I fight

This is my struggle. This is my life.

I can’t wait until I break my heart completely

I wiped the marks left by my now dead teardrops

I opened my eyes

I can see my reflection on the glass window

I smiled at her

Now I can see the ocean beyond the glass window through my reflection.

It’s much calmer than the one inside me.

I turned and walked away from the glass window

With a wildly roaring ocean inside me and a smile on my face.